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Trent

[TR] Colchuck Peak - NE Couloir 6/6/2012

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Trip: Colchuck Peak - NE Couloir

 

Date: 6/6/2012

 

Trip Report:

STORYLINE: Two gumbies bumble onto the incorrect route without gear. Must consternation, including wringing of hands and rending of garments ensues. Gumbies prevail and finish the route, summit glory attained. All is well.

 

NARRATIVE: Our two super-heroes, Gumb and Gumber, needed something low commitment and fun to climb. Perusing the TRs on CC.com, the NBC on Colchuck Peak was chosen. The pictures were studied closely, and it was decided to leave the rope at home.

 

After parking below the forest pass required sign (Gumb forgot his parking pass), the trail to the Colchuck Lake was beat into submission. Heads down huffing and puffing up the Colchuck Glacier, our brave but myopic protagonists started climbing the obvious couloir.

 

Start2.JPG

"Let's climb here!"

 

The bergshrund was a bit spicy, but the snow bridge held under Gumber’s prodigious weight. Up and up an ever steepening and narrowing couloir the gumbies climbed. Gumb was thinking, “Stupid camera tilt! Those pictures on CC.com sure looked easier than this!” while Gumber thought, “Man, I am out of shape. This “easy snow couloir” is really kicking by gumby rear! I gotta stop riding that stupid ass Pokey to Krispy Kreme! I need to start walking there instead!”

 

NEB_003.JPG

Getting narrower!

 

Scott_from_above.JPG

I am out of shape!

 

They climbed on and on up steeper steps and runnels. Gumb started to curse the sandbaggers on CC.com. They came to a split in the couloir, and went right. The steepening slot ended in a spot of mixed climbing underneath a cornice. Gumb went up to take a look. Not being able to see above it, he backed down. “Curse those knuckle-dragging posters!” he screamed to Gumber. “There were no pictures of this alpine chicanery in the TRs!” He would have flopped down and beat his head against something, but the slope angle precluded this stress relieving measure. Dreading the down-climb, the intrepid bumblers backed down and tried the left-hand split. Low and behold, it went!

 

In_NEB.JPG

There were no pictures of this!

 

In_NEB_from_above.JPG

Where is Pokey when I need him?

 

Topping out east of the summit, Gumber was confused. “All those posers on CC are AFU; this is not the north face! What peak are we on?” he wondered. Gumb was convinced that a worm-hole had opened up in the space-time continuum and transported them either to another dimension or maybe across to another couloir. Upon further investigation, the Mensa candidates discovered that they had climbed the incorrect route! Seeing as how this kind of simple error could never happen to alpine superstars like themselves, blame was laid square on the shoulders of cc.com and the myriad of posters. “They need to make those stupid TRs easier to understand!” Gumb grumbled. “Pokémon! Not our bad!” Gumber seconded.

 

Topping_out1.JPG

Where am I?

 

Summit11.JPG

Gumbies prevail; summit glory attained!

 

Wanting at least one aspect of the trip to go as planned, the pair traversed over to Dragontail to tick that peak. On the way down, they saw tracks heading up the Triple Couloirs. “I bet they brought their rope!” Gumb pooh-poohed.

 

traversing.JPG

Finally on route!

 

traverse2.JPG

Can't get lost here!

 

The walk out was uneventful; no route finding errors occurred. Back at the car basking in summit glory and a bit of alcohol induced euphoria, the gumbies did their trademark choreographed high-five hand slap dance. (Don’t ask). “We rock!” Gumb proclaimed. “We rule!” Gumber replied.

 

Route13.JPG

The route (Not the NBC)

 

Gear Notes:

To avoid needing more gear, get on the correct route. Used and wanted two tools, rope and gear not used.

 

Approach Notes:

Trail snow free to the lake.

Edited by Trent

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you could have really tilted that 8th photo for proper effect.

 

sounds like a fun day.

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Colchuck isn't in the North Cascades either.

 

Damn Gumbies. Even off route here!

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Colchuck isn't in the North Cascades either.

 

You're either north or south of HWY 2. Pick your side and stick to it. :battlecage:

 

Nice photos :tup:

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OK, it is true Trent and I have been a bit confused a few times.... descending off American Border Peak comes to mind, but hey whats an extra 4 or 5 miles at 2 a.m.? And then there was that confusion on the Cross Over descent off of Slesse, but who hasn't had an un planned Bivy 10 minutes from the trail? and what about....oh never mind!

 

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Colchuck isn't in the North Cascades either.

 

By what definition?

Park boundries for one.

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Nice work guys! Trust me, you should be very glad that the bridge over the 'schrund held your weight! Although falling in would have brought your gumby status up to my level.

 

And from a geologic perspective, the mountains north of I-90 are considered the North Cascades (easy to see the change when looking north and south from Chair or Kaleeten). But that's not how we roll on cc.com. Silly gumbies!

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This TR was originally posted in the N Cascades section so I moved it Alpine lakes..I thought I left a pointer in that section. The June TR contest Is on.

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