ivan Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Trip: Katani Rawk - The Curious Hangover Cure Date: 12/29/2011 Trip Report: yearly horrorfuck of the skull towards yuletime - too much rain, relatives, and rarefied whiskey left me a sodden, shameless sadsack - jesus, will SOMEONE please post some spray worth shitting on?!? morose w/o merit after a marathon sesh of watching the kids play lego harry potter, i was bleary-eyed n' whiskey drunk when the call came - the plaidman, day 70-something deep in his gorge project, needed accompaniment to tag climb #86, katani rock, right next to the scene of his earlier triumph on st peters prick - fine, i'll come w/ you, but i'm writing my own tr goddammit 'cuz you can't make the sacred fuck-word sing, n' you've less sense w/ cocksucker too bottom of the bottle bloated, liver-wise, i wasn't making some of the relevant connections in that: a) i'd likely be a fucking zombie at 630 in the following a.m. when this here adventure was set to begin unfolding b) it was pouring when he called and the fancy meteorologist pricks were calling for things to grow grimmer still c) the climb requires rude bushwacking and mossy, mossy chossmauteering ah, but what the fuck, why worry? i woke in the dark reasonably satisfied, proving to my debauched self that at least i oughta be able to repeat the feat next week when the mortgage man will demand my return to gainful employment - round the time the coffee started dripping though the hangover set in, and as i threw my sad climbing shit into the hooker bag i began to wonder, as the wife so often does, What The Fuck is Wrong W/ Me? duty called, and i took comfort in the knowledge that the plaid had all the details, that i didn't have the first clue what i was getting into, it would be pouring soon, but all i had to do was show up at loves (god how i miss the flying-j) in 20 minutes and Lay Down the Funk. apparently this is some famous old rock, just east of st peters - people since babelfuck have been scaling it, so how hard could it be? katani on the left, st peters the right. not a whole lot of pix to take on the approach - stumbling through briers and bullshit stones, covered in moss yet rolling right quickly, soaked from knees to hot-glued back together boots, i sank into the gray wooly funk of my damaged intellect and tuned out the happy teetotaler following me like a hairy terrier a few feet back - i urked up a half-digested sausage sammy, rank w/ whiskey-slurry, into my mouth and gutted it back down to spite meself useful beta? shit, i hear jeff and olson both have guides for the route, so watcha need me for? park right where you get off the interstate, where, ya know, you can see the rock. wander into the woods towards said rock, knowing that there is no trail really, but here and there an old roadbed that you can follow for a bit before it turns in the wrong direction - a good number of game tracks too - jesus fuck, how shitty would that 'swack be in summer, 'specially for the dog-forsaken fool wearing shorts? anyhow - cross 2 major streams, bearing left to a deep gully on the east side of katani - follow the gully up, here and there it steepens annoyingly - after about an hour bust out of the gully to the right, getting out on big talus slopes, invisible under 18 inches of fluffy moss - bring an ice axe! eventually the gully ends at a notch - the temptation is to go all the way up there, where you can easily gain the ridge that leads off to katani's summit, but if you do that you get cliffed out and have to do a rap? easier to go right about 50 meters before the notch, heading up a steep, woody and talus-strewn gully to where you can traverse the moss face - at this point the buffalo-herds of the previous century have been sufficient to lay in a good trail, and follow that - it's exposed for sure, and again an axe a good idea, but just 3rd classish - pull some moss moves and end up on the ridge - follow the trail on the east side just below the hump the plaid in said space finally getting some cool views the view east, w/ the aforementioned access gully at the bottom, just out of sight - kewl stovepipes at the top the creek flowing through the gully eventually turns into what no doubt would be a damn cool, long ice climb - surely some brave soul's done it? looks to have plenty of moderate ground, important for a sad-sack waterfall climber like m'self a hair-bit more of exciting, exposed 3rd class mud n' moss traversing puts you at another notch in a ridge, w/ this magnificent crux afore ye! yeah, it looks about like it feels to climb, pretty hohum - but it ain't the journey but the destination, dig? it's a short, say 20 meter pitch, w/ no pro save a reasonably modern pin - don't know how i woulda managed it w/o an axe, despite being 5.easy the true-slummit has little to commend it - no views to speak of - the rumor was there was a sweet vista-spot well below and at the terminus of the ridge, so we continued on over some more exposed 3rd class terrain plaid on the way down, st peter's prick behind him about 150 feet downhill through the woody and broad ridge, you get 2 little platforms - plaid at their intersection summit register here - only in oregon is said object so damn far from, ya know, the actual summit - no figuring them mazama fellers - here one of them, some dude named jeff thomas (?!) rationalizes his dirty theft - only one entry after this one, a big old clusterfuck ascent, damn near big enough group to play a full basketball game, in 2009 just in case you're in the market for a vintage ammo box - the pinnacle behind it would be pimping to the extreme if more ammo and the piece to pump'em through was embrasured atop it - could at least make life on i84 more interesting for them coffee-drinking, happy-go-fuck-me commuters down there summit panaroma, complete w/ plaidman's nose, though sadly, given my stature, i couldn't document his trademark nosehairs - the video does a shit job of showing the fantastic exposure on this little perch [video:youtube] amazingly, the rain had held off till this moment - the air was pregnant w/ impending cloudpiss however - all sounds hollow and dead, no answering shriek from my monkey-hoots at st peters - never a breathe of wind - as we started to reverse our track, of course all that changed and down the rain poured discovered at the top of the easy 5th class pitch that our rope was total shit for our intentions - it was an old bit of chopped rope that plaid had brought along, only half as long as we needed it to be for the rap, w/ the hardest part of the pitch right where it would end - a democratic decision was made to just leave it fixed - if'n that tickles yer sensibilities, feel free to go pluck it off and throw it down w/ all the goddamn party balloons i saw scattered here n' there about the approach gully - you'd be advised to have somethign close to a 50 meter rope to do a christian rap from the summit to the notch great walk out in the cloud murk, streaming w/ water, stumblefucking every step of the way - never seen a man take so many spills! in the end we elected to just cut straight for the road, ignoring our early traverse 'swack, and ended up in some old boys black-berry infested field - happily he left the gate unlocked and the bull in the pen so mine ice axe had not to be used in anger a fine holiday romp - my moroseness managed - i parted ways w/ the kilted-one and hopped off to safeway for wine n' new year's necessities! Gear Notes: 45 (?) meter rope - would recommend just taking a single standard half/twin-rope no rock gear needed ice axe a distinct plus Approach Notes: over some rivers and through a wood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaidman Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Nice trip report dude. Thanks for going with me. It sure made it a lot more fun. It really is a cool summit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billcoe Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Holy crap, maybe less adventure but it sounded better staying home! LOL, good on youze guys for the peak bagging adventure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetimetravlr Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I'm glad I had to work. But that sausage sounded great the second time round! Not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
111 Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Wouldnt it be fun if they left a pea shooter and ammo in the summit register ammo box! I'll do that next time I hit a seldom-climbed peak. What, you can get a leaver-shooter for less than 100$ these days right?!? 40$ of .22 ammo would = years of fun on the summit!! ...and if I get caught i'll just say some guy on the interwebz gave me the idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostCamKenny Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 wait a minute - where's your shameless plug for NA, Scotch? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 wait a minute - where's your shameless plug for NA, Scotch? watchameanthereboy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 That thing looks like it's made of poo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostCamKenny Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 wait a minute - where's your shameless plug for NA, Scotch? watchameanthereboy? Plaid's been advertising for next adventure on each of his ventures... i was wondering where this adventure's pic was. nothing more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted January 6, 2012 Author Share Posted January 6, 2012 damn, yer right! he shoulda pounded a little flagstaff into the view-pt there and proudly left them a pennant flying! my expedition that day was underwritten by the good folks at knob creek Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fgw Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 great stuff - inspirational...gotta make a liquor store stop on the way home. is a fun tr too btw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smash and grab Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 discovered at the top of the easy 5th class pitch that our rope was total shit for our intentions - it was an old bit of chopped rope that plaid had brought along, only half as long as we needed it to be for the rap, w/ the hardest part of the pitch right where it would end - a democratic decision was made to just leave it fixed - if'n that tickles yer sensibilities, feel free to go pluck it off and throw it down w/ all the goddamn party balloons i saw scattered here n' there about the approach gully No offense but you guys just decide to add to the trash and then proceed to give the good old "if you don't like it, go pick it up your self" attitude. Pretty freaking lame. Go clean up your own shit, and maybe pick up a party balloon or two, ya might feel a little better about your self. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaidman Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 No offense but you guys just decide to add to the trash and then proceed to give the good old "if you don't like it, go pick it up your self" attitude. Pretty freaking lame. Go clean up your own shit, and maybe pick up a party balloon or two, ya might feel a little better about your self. Ivan didn't trash the place with party balloons. I don't know what he was talking about. I plan on getting the rope. Ivan can speak for Ivan but I left out the rope information on purpose because I plan on retrieving it. I don't leave trash and if there was any I would have picked it up. And I do take offense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted January 8, 2012 Author Share Posted January 8, 2012 discovered at the top of the easy 5th class pitch that our rope was total shit for our intentions - it was an old bit of chopped rope that plaid had brought along, only half as long as we needed it to be for the rap, w/ the hardest part of the pitch right where it would end - a democratic decision was made to just leave it fixed - if'n that tickles yer sensibilities, feel free to go pluck it off and throw it down w/ all the goddamn party balloons i saw scattered here n' there about the approach gully No offense but you guys just decide to add to the trash and then proceed to give the good old "if you don't like it, go pick it up your self" attitude. Pretty freaking lame. Go clean up your own shit, and maybe pick up a party balloon or two, ya might feel a little better about your self. my ballz come in both licorice and menthol flavers!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Go clean up your own shit, and maybe pick up a party balloon or two, ya might feel a little better about your self. This kind of party balloon...?? I ain't touchin' that shit... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyson.g Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Y'all have about 54 minutes to top Ivans' line o' the day! "my ballz come in both licorice and menthol flavers!!!" That should be a worthy challenge! Nice work Ivan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I musta smash and grabbed a case of couch lice while over at nwhikers. Sorry guyz. Shoulda worn a balloon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 STD, the gift that keeps on giving... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 No offense but you guys just decide to add to the trash and then proceed to give the good old "if you don't like it, go pick it up your self" attitude. Pretty freaking lame. Go clean up your own shit, and maybe pick up a party balloon or two, ya might feel a little better about your self. Ivan didn't trash the place with party balloons. I don't know what he was talking about. I plan on getting the rope. Ivan can speak for Ivan but I left out the rope information on purpose because I plan on retrieving it. I don't leave trash and if there was any I would have picked it up. And I do take offense. ignore a shit streak and it eventually flakes off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pink Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 No offense but you guys just decide to add to the trash and then proceed to give the good old "if you don't like it, go pick it up your self" attitude. Pretty freaking lame. Go clean up your own shit, and maybe pick up a party balloon or two, ya might feel a little better about your self. Ivan didn't trash the place with party balloons. I don't know what he was talking about. I plan on getting the rope. Ivan can speak for Ivan but I left out the rope information on purpose because I plan on retrieving it. I don't leave trash and if there was any I would have picked it up. And I do take offense. ignore a shit streak and it eventually flakes off "stone soup" being the ultimate shit streak those bolts will eventually rust away, quite the legacy you shit steaks left behind.... JUST SAYIN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Case in point. Yawn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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