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[TR] Orygone Asylums - Here and There 12/18/2011

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Trip: Orygone Asylums - Here and There


Date: 12/18/2011


Trip Report:

idle has the last month felt, immune from adventure as i've been immersed in grades, educational goobly-gook and godless children, but the long-yearned for yuletime has arrived, so i've space to relate a few weekends of wasted youth, the inept ramblings of the village idiot...


last month was the baker's eleven bash, deep underground - spent the rare aould times out from the burdens of work n' family atop terra-firma since then - justin's buddy kirk wrote for beta on the stone soup, a strange request when the sun still shines legally on the south side - i talked him round to just coming up for a day and mucking about on something more classic, the ever-scintillating stephenwulf!


a polite boy, that there kirk, and plenty willing to defend the Public Good on the teh inTerwebz :) - god bless all smokers everywhere, you provide the tobacco and i'll scare up the discovery pass to keep the shit legit. :rawk:



i recall it a rare morning for beacon sport - blustery, bitter cold, dampness on the unprotectable first 40 feet, then hands numbed by crack-climbing - the short spiciness of the traverse into the belay cave across shattered stone - kirk followed in fine style, and soon enough i'd bullshitted him enough to think his lead would be tea n' krumpets easy :)


a pleasant perch below the roof, somewhat sheltered from the storm's blast - at least 3 generations of bolts n' pins to pick from, and probably at least one of them in reliable rock? :)


kirk was quick above the lip and scooting along


gotta love aiding in the winds that turn yer aiders into pilate's lash upon yer face


frosty beacon visions


we ended up on big ledge w/ time to keep banging away - i went up to the hanging belay via the conga line of archaic pins, then came on back down while kirk kleaned it - we rapped off for high times and hollering at the base, then wandered off, each to his evening delights :)


interludes - introspections - back to the beat-off rock a weekend or so later, w/ just a day to play - a big party this time, me having invited a half-dozen folks out only to experience the rare-occasion of damn near everybody saying yes - jensen's ridge then the Big Plan - cush ledges for a big crew at each pitch - a unique topout only i'd expereinced before - everyone a Nice Guy/Goodfella :)


if you're in the neighborhood, you're a fool not to take the advantage to wander up one of beacon's elite routes - you get extra pts if you free it all - i saw it happen...once :)


we were all too craven to lead the hard-kkkore alternate start, and i was happy to be selfless and let everyone get a lead in, so we started on the easy 1st pitch, The Phuzzy taking the mossy end while his counselor belayed


lawyer or axe-murderer?


just below the notch and the first good ledge


a 4-some, geoff belayed his bro up p1 as adam tensioned me into the start of the super-shorty p2


an odd site perhaps - geoff cleaning p2 while the phuz crawls up the tag line - good thing the aggregate age of the anchor bolts here is something greater than the age of the nation i'd wager :)


the Lost Gems of beacon - several incredible quality cracks absolutely crawling with thick cables of poison oak - happily, jensen's goes right of all this - if anyone has a p38 and a couple rounds of napalm, we'd sure appreciate a flyby in the spring...


geoff wanted the money pitch, and for his crimes i gave it to him - 11a finger crack at the start, just out of reach of the oak, but hella fun and easy aid-climbing, the first piece a blind one with 200 feet of exposure below


adam crawled up a ledgelet to take pix back down - sunny sure, but holy shit it was breezy n' freezy :)


get a nut bitch.


who's gonna complain about a setting like this? :)


p3 tops out on the tower ole'boy's heading for...


'twould be fair at this point to point out i'd sandbagged my poor lawya - no 2nd #3 a poor poor decision on the "mind bending offwidth" - long story short, geoff suffered mightily in the wind and wideness, and ultimately we were all complelled to call it a night, leaving all the gear in place and rapping off a fixed line - had to wake up bright n' early the next mornign to finish the thing off w/ just geoff, which i did in true style, getting the final 2 leads fast enough to met the family at the ballet for das nutcracka :)


shit...then...i forget? oh yeah, the weather got grand and glorious and i got a half-morning off to wander out for my first december corner solo - got two laps in, had a few laughs w/ old jim while watching that jeff thomas feller finish up the new genesis pitches, then it was a fine datenight w/ the wife, complicated by an inexplicably pinched nerve in my shoulder


a week of slideshows - one rather drab and sad, the other a fucking riotious goodtime - the mighty tvashie had bent space to portlandia to right his abstentee landlordism, and having drunk in the debauchery of geoff's party, we took 3 days to work on his climbing


i had a rope fixed on wild turkeys for a couple months and figured now was as good a time as any to sack up and have fun up on beacon towers, one of the few corners of the monolith i'd yet to visit


ready to launch on excalibur, the hardest free climb at beacon?


a fun and easy aid-climb, albeit one having a shorty cheatstick on would not be ill-advised, as the first couple bolts weren't intended for god-damned fatarse chossmanauts


white caps on the columbia


reached grassy ledges as the Big Breeze built up and the shade set in - we raced up uprising as the silverman boys completed right gull and a 3-some appeared to epic on the last pitch of the corner - pat and i tried to stick aroudn to see if our rescue services would be called upon, but boredom and smith-plans and cigarette-shortages sucked us away in short order


thick oregon fog made our crawl to smith a slow one, but the nice thing about having a badass for a driver is the navigator can drink the whole way :) conversation and coffee - starlight and meteors - multiple diners - madras near midnight - breakfast plans - frosty tenting in a desolate smith bivouac


sunday morning dawned bright but w/ random light rain - bacon and coffee - an easy walk to the base of the picnic wall - the sun roared to life and we lounged, me drinking gluhwine by the gullet-full - pat's still new to the aid-game, so thought it just to inflict p1 of bubbas in bondage on him


he did well by it, but still our big sleep in and his shortness of stature, merged w/ a nice big aid-fall, made that pitch our only one of the day - i cleaned up and declined to make him follow p2 in the dark - we fixed to return on monday


monday, monday. feeling hangoverish after an early night of chain-smoking and chuckling - up at 4 a.m. bored, reading atheist manifestos - then a 3rd day in a row for bacon and on to the full-on funness of p2.


it's a liiiiitle steep in places :)


zig-zagging against a clear-blue sky


pretty obvious we wouldn't be topping out unless we committed to freezing our balls off in the dark, but plenty of time to wander up another pitch or so? pat had fun while i indulged in self-photography afore the shipwrecked rock.


pat quickly tried to kill me - fancy cam in a mudcrack while i wasn't looking resulted in a breadload-sized block flying out and crashing into me, hanging above the Great Gulf - another fine red bruise of courage? :) no worries, pat quickly realizes the superior virtues of nuts in shitrock? note the orange tcu and villian in this here story still dangling from the blown out etrier...


tvashie w/ Bob Dole deployed


he got up there eventually, and i took in the Golden Glow of the Magic Minute


we bailed :)


even better drive back into the bosum of my family - burgers and butts and burgundy - cosmology lessons - road rage redacted :)


shit, w/ a whole week left in this here year, maybe i'll find the time to do some real climbing?

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I can't believe I couldn't nail Ivan's helmet from only 10 feet up...damn thing even has a bulls eye on it.


Oh well, Dear Old Dad always said I threw like a girl...an insult to girls everywhere.

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When Pat comes to our asylum, it always means good times. :cool:

Just dont kill yourself with rocks.


I had to go and attend to my OCD - there is now ice in Oregon! :tup:


I hear Viagra is a new diamox for AMS? :)

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Sweet stuff! I heard you bellowing down there, and Jim said you were down there someplace hanging after yer 2 solos but I never did see you. Looked warmer on our side and we were rapping down past iceckles! Wow!

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Sweet stuff! I heard you bellowing down there, and Jim said you were down there someplace hanging after yer 2 solos but I never did see you. Looked warmer on our side and we were rapping down past iceckles! Wow!

wait, you waz up there w/ jeff? :crazy: looks like a badass line, watcha think?

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Sorry if I wasn't in conversation mode. That wuz me wif jeff. I love climbing with Jeff so if I get invited, I feel pretty darned special:-) They are Frikkan awesome routes up there once you get off the deck. The first 100' of that North side always seems wet and slimy and has never appealed to me at all, but it gets dry up high as you know. You should go do either one of them once it closes, both are real good. Looks like you got a lot done out there that day! Holy crap. High mileage day Ivan.


Afterwards...or in between routes I guess: Jeff and I climbed the 1901 route to the top. I'd never done it before and had no idea. Jeff has been up there cleaning off key sections, it's pretty darned good and a hoot because of the history.

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will be interested to get up there and see the upper 2 rope lengths then as i've always found them gross n' oak infested - the dirt chimney just above rancho relaxo i've always surprisingly hard to start as well...

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Head up with Jeff and have him point it all out. Last time I was up there I was looking at a thin crack line and was thinking, that should go and wondering what it was, so he explained that he'd cleaned it and we'd done it with me lead it couple months back. I'll just get you lost up there, go with him. He did one up there with Timetraveler that's positively worth doing (if it's dry, aiding it would be insanely out of the question wet).

Timetraveler Buttress?

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does it start up and left of the big tree where the last spikes dump you out, where you'd usually follow fixed lines n' waht not off to the right to rancho relaxo?

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