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Stoopid things done in youth


Beck

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using mom's hairspray as a blow torch.

 

paperclip fights at my friend's house: two teams of 3 or 4 people each, rubber bands, several boxes of paperclips, football helmets but no eye protection.

 

jumping up to catch a frisbee and landing on top of a cop car.

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Removing the lightbulb from the lamp on the night stand and running the blade of a pocket knife around the inside of the light socket, diggin' on the cool blue sparks it made has to be one of the top five dumb youth events.

 

Riding the freshly de-training-wheelsed bike in the house, tipping over, and splitting the scalp open on the fireplace damper knob, requiring several stitches.

 

Any of various events involving modified fireworks, homemade gun powder, empty C02 cartridges, fire, and the like.

 

A few years of chronic and mostly successful shoplifting, culminating in arriving home at 2 a.m. after a night of drinking shoplifted beer, and finding a cop's business card and a note from Dad saying that the cop had been by looking for the young Doctor. See also leaving a store with a pair of climbing shoes tucked inside the jacket, getting to the car, and noticing the purple shoelace hanging out of the jacket down to the Doctor's knee.

 

Convincing a carload of friends to give a couple rednecks in a big truck the middle finger after said rednecks flipped us shit for no reason earlier that evening. A car chase and near ass-kicking ensued. Oops.

 

[ 10-28-2002, 05:04 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

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instead of egging houses, we'd go to the butcher store, get liver, calf brains and chicken hearts, and cover them with entrails. even made the local paper.

 

egg "jousting", involving two pickup trucks with three people in the bed of each standing up behind the cab, while racing towards each other as the eggs flew.

 

13 year old bitten by mtn bug. Buys freedom of the hills, royal robbins rockcraft, etc. Cannot persuade mother to allow rope purchase with paper route money. Instead, learning to rappel on the sly, using the bodywrap (dulfsitz?) method, a long gardenhose, and a tall tree

 

we'd go to the party store and get a roll of grey crepe paper, then go to a dark two lane road where the microsoft campus now is. On the top of a short rise with bad sightlines ahead, we'd string the crepe across the road at windshield height with enough sag so it looked like a 2" steel cable when seen by car headlights. Car comes bombing along, tops rise, sees "cable" slams on brakes and skids into it, it parts like paper, because it is. Great fun until the car whose roof lights start flashing blue and red before it even skids to a stop, with the sound of a dog barking in the back seat. This leads to a midnight foot race through dark cow pastures with barb wire, blackberry bushes, and nettles, propelled by sound of cops shouting and dog barking, everyone made it out without being caught, but we were a mess.

 

little brother buys carbide cannon for 4th of july, this gives his older brother and friend ideas. Teenage idiots obsessed with explosives discover power of acetylene. We buy 4" PVC 5 feet long and build a mount, obtain can of carbide. Drill hole for firecracker fusing. dump a couple rocks of carbide down muzzle, add 2oz water, pound 1/2 of presto log down into muzzle with baseball bat. light fuse and run. will shoot presto log easily out of sight while still going up, and makes tremendous chest thumping *WHUMP* noise which echoes into the distance for some time. Everyone laughs, repeat. Got some great pics of firing it at night, huge fireball with moron, er, assistant, who lit fuse frozen in midstride as he races away.

 

For some reason someone decides we need to shoot presto log straight up, in the dark, and this seems like a good idea until fuse is lit. Then we realize, hey, it's dark, how will we see where it's coming down? BOOM, everyone scatters and dives under cars. I run towards gun, knowing there is no way in hell something going up hundreds of feet is going to fall straight back down and hit cannon. Wicked nasty whistling sound begins from above, followed by hollow thump 20 yards off. no more vertical shots.

 

Obtain 6 feet of 8" pipe and 8 to 4 reducer, add old cannon to barrel of new one. quite a sight going down the 148th Ave NE in Redmond to firing range, with the fire blackened barrel of a cannon now longer than the Datsun it is tied to. Takes two sets of tire chains wrapped around breech to keep cannon aimed upwards. Must stand in pickup bed to load it. Hard to find "friends" who want to light it, because it's creators do not. But there's usually a fool around when you need one. Cannon shoots logs so far we never find them to establish range. After 10 or so shots the cannon explodes at the reducer in a shower of whizzing PVC flying past everyones ears. Miraculously, no one is injured.

 

[ 10-28-2002, 05:10 PM: Message edited by: MtnGoat ]

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My God, this is the funniest thread I've read in a long time. My stomach is hurting from laughing...

 

* late at night in nearby middle school under renovation, fill water balloons with acetylene gas from tank on site, wrap with toilet paper to make "fuse", close in locker with fuse trailing out slits in door, light and run.

 

* drink water from stagnant puddle in dirt road ... on a dare.

 

* having target practice with the .22 on friends' farm, attempt to "scare off" bull away from target by walking over and waving my arms at him... I have never run so fast in my life, and barely escaped. (Did I mention I'm from Texas?)

 

* putting big rocks (not pennies) on railroad tracks to watch train pulverize them. [hell no]

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quote:

Originally posted by gregm:

paperclip fights at my friend's house: two teams of 3 or 4 people each, rubber bands, several boxes of paperclips, football helmets but no eye protection.


I had rubber band projectile fights, but we used small tightly-rolled strips of paper folded in half over the rubber band. When those didn't hurt enough, we added staples, then needles.

 

I was always nervous about fireworks after my dad told me how he was nearly killed (shrapnel 1/4" from the brain) when he stuck a firecracker in an old bullet casing.

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When I was 10 I hacksawed my dads rifle bullets appart to get the gun powder I didn't think about potential sparks [Eek!] . I also lit a cocktail of flamable matierial and fluids in a container with some of the bullets in it to hear them explode. My friend and I made pipe bombs with pounded down screecheroo fireworks stuffed into a tite fitting metal pipe. The sound could be heard umpteen blocks away. You can do the same thing but just ducttape the pounded screecheroo, they're soooooo loud!

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Took a basketball down a manhole and kicked it into the pipe. Water filled up manhole. Friends mom called sewer company to come fix sewer. houses drains/toilets on street back up. Friends mom made us appologize to sewer men. Couldn't stop laughing and peed my pants while trying to appologize, I still find it funny. My neighbors didn't. Same friend and I hit golfballs onto major intersection from his backyard over the comercial buisness behind his house for a few months period(he and his parents would go to golfcourses and pick up golfballs from forests, we'd hit the bad balls). ESSO guy caught us one day golfclubs in hand and made us appologize to the manager. Lucky for us he was youngish and didn't seem to care. He just told us to stop hitting them at his gastation.

 

Hell, I'm only 18 I can STILL do this stuff. Bring on the good ideas!

 

[ 10-29-2002, 12:37 AM: Message edited by: salbrecher ]

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"hookey-bobing" (holding onto the rear bumper of a car while somone drives and your feet skid along) the problem arrises when you want to stop, the driver usually couldn't hear you, so often you would have to let go and hope for the best. Ruined several pairs of shoes that way.

 

we had a friend who purhcased a van with a roof rack and a firmly attached ladder who would drive us around for hours trying to shake us off the ladder.

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At first I laughed and felt less like a delinquent when I read these posts. It's amazing how similar others' interests were.

 

I did the hairspray flame-thrower (and even progressed to a can of starting ether). I made gunpowder, schrapnel grenades, perfected a remote igniter using a drycell and light-gage steel wool. Drilled holes in planks, inserted shotgun shells, and used a BB gun to hit firing pins. Hitched a sledride on a postal jeep bumper. Received many shocks from experiments with alternating current. Was run over by a horse, a tobaggan full of people, and had several body-as-projectile incidents over the years. How did I avoid serious injury or death?

 

On the other hand, this thread makes me much more worried about my own kids, because now I realize it wasn't just me and my sick pranks! [Eek!]

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skateboard luge down big hill by friend's house. no way to see where you are going and at high speed those old independents get wobbly. plenty of blood donation those days. stupid sweet gum balls fall off trees and wedge perfectly under truck, stopping board dead sending kid flying.

 

also bruised up shins trying to run a little kid's bigwheel down the same hill. thing span so fast the pedals were totally out of control and started bashing my shins before the front wheel flew off and I supermaned over the handlebars.

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