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Stoopid things done in youth


Beck

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A friend of mine had one of those 3 man slingshots, so we'd cut potatoes in half have 2 people hold it and 2 people firing them accross a street into a townhouse complex. By the time the people could get out of their gated complex we were gone! we could get a good sized bowl off in a few minuits.

 

Same friend and I placed 2by4s accross highway just over the crest of a hill. KA KLUNK KA KLUNK!

 

[ 10-30-2002, 11:29 PM: Message edited by: salbrecher ]

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best friend and i running around her house and mixing up any non-food liquids and gels we could find into a glass, then daring each other to drink it.

 

taking my skateboard to the top of a very steep hill that bottomed out at a "T" cross-section near my house. racing the neighborhood boys on their bikes to the bottom of said hill. only problem was i had no brakes, so i'd have to keep going across the intersecting street, hoping no cars were coming, and bail out by jump'n'rolling into the yard of the folks on the other side of the intersection.

 

painting my little brother (i was maybe 5 and he 3 at the time?) from head to toe with oil-based forrest green paint that was given to us by the whacky old man neighbor so we could paint the little shack behind his house.

 

continuing up the gib's ledges route on rainier after watching 3 avalanches (one the full width of the nisqually glacier) rumble by. though i can't claim i was all that young at the time, just stoopid. (note to potential climbing partners: i've recovered from that particular brand of stoopidity).

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some of this stuff is pretty funny, but then there's the flipside of the coin.

 

lately some schmucks have taken to busting up mailboxes on our street, and for their three seconds of entertainment I get to spend a saturday buying a new mailbox, digging out the old one, and putting it all together again.

 

At this point their coupla seconds of fun have meant I've spent at least 8-10 hours total I'd much rather use doing something else, especially on a weekend. After the lastest destruction last week, it's getting real old.

 

My wife wants to get an oversized mailbox, put a regular one inside it, fill the gap between the two with concrete and rebar,and mount it on a pipe filled with concrete and clad with wood so it just looks like a bigger wooden post. Idea is to make it look like we've upgraded but it's still plastic and wood, when in fact it's an arm breaker waiting for the next swing. At this point, I'm so tired of fixing the damned thing if it happens again I may just go for it, if they're ok with funny jokes, I guess I am too.

 

That there's a fawking brilliant idea. Please do this and post a trip report. As a city dweller with a house-mounted mailbox, the Doctor hasn't had to deal with such deviance yet, but if he did, the concrete mail fortress would be top of the list for replacement options.

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From my MX days we set up practice track in front yard ended up touring through house only to be caught by landlord. Purchased $100 ford galaxy 500 went 4X4ing, got stuck in mud, blew up motor, left car in mud walked home, got call from state to remove car or pay fine. Learning how to make pipe bomb, blew up tree, tree fell on building, was arrested. Set up targets in tree shot with pellet gun, didn't notice neighbors home was backstop. Rolled tire down hill towards intersection, no one got hurt, however was beat silly by father. Went late night skinny dipping after drinking all day. Crawling through culverts so small that the only way out was to back out. Rolled car, drove home without windshield, got ticket from police. Trying to find out how fast we could drive in ice/snow. Racing cars on public roads. Trying to evade the police. Winter climbing without bringing a head lamp. I have many others but will not discuss them here.

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jeesh where to begin....

 

perhaps it was the warm temperatures, perhaps i'm just a streaking fool, but in my tender pre kindergarten years i began my obsession with getting nekked and cavorting around (an act that still happens to this day, with enough beer, everyone loves a naked drunk asshole). i would perch myself in my parents picture window, right when elementary school was letting out and show my bare ass to all. jon can attest to this happening rather often in my college years as well, but of course I got more creative with my other assets, thus the fruit basket, the bat wing, "peaches", and "have you seen my cock" all came into full play.

 

i quickly progressed from simply being naked as a little kid into biting the neighbor girl quite hard and quite often. when she seemed unfased by biting i choose to throw sharp jagged rocks at her, 8 stiches, becuase she didn't want to harvest scorpions with me in the back yard, stupid chick.

 

at night time we would go sing christmas carols, usually in the summer time, to the jehova's witnesses that lived across the street. when they wouldn't answer the door we would surround the house and pound on windows and doors to scare the livign shit out of them.

 

we would continue or night heckling by taking full cans of trash and dumping them in swimming pools, placing little snapits on door steps, door bell ditching and watchign people get freaking pissed. ohh what fun.

 

as i grew older, my antics got only more sophisticated. paint ball sniper attacks above factoria square mall, heckling the lame ass security gaurds, getting chased on my bike, hitting curb, totalling my brothers new m10bike.

 

high school brought much maturity into the game when we developed our new favorite prank, the mystery shit. we would pass around a bag, or a box and all shit in it, and think of some clever way to deliver mr hankey to our victims. my favorites were the "WILL YOU GO TO TOLO WITH ME" gift boxes, and putting the steamy ones on peoples BBQ's.

 

god, what fun.

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Went off a jump on my BMX. Well, thats not a big deal but when I landed my foot slipped off my pedal and my crotchlanded on the bar when I hit the ground [Frown] .to make things worseI was going really fast and there was a 45 degree, 20 foot hill ahead that went down into a small drainage ditch then a foot higher into a lower parking lot.

Well, to make things even WORSE, my belt got stuck on the front of the seat and I couldn't lift myself off the bar [Eek!] . I went down this very bumpy slope(painful) sitting on the bar, then when I got to the bottom,the ditch gave me about two feet of air and I went slamm'in onto the parking lot stuck on the frame bar [hell no] . That hurt.

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I think that we've all been part of the mailbox base ball game at one point or another, be it on the reciving end or the batting end. I played it in a stolen car (my good friends parents 280zx) and manged to break the back window with the kick back from the bat. Drivng to fast and getting tired from hitting all them mailboxes'll do that for you.

 

But the best game with bottle rockets was destroy the pine needle fort with'em. Three people per team about 25ft apart you have to build a pine needle fort, quickly. The other team gets to shoot you while you build but remeber they are building too. Then the idea is to burn down the other teams fort. Yeah, you're in the fort. You have little fires all the time, so two of you are shooting the other fort while one of you it trying to make sure the fort doesn't burn down. You get hit by alot of bottle rockets that way and you also get good at aiming them out of your hand. We played that one alot. I'm amazed I didn't blow my hand off.

 

Much more but they involve the maddness of living in Colombia.

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I am reminded of one night, several years ago, walking through a jobsite at the top of a steep hill, noticing a LARGE (4' diameter) empty spool and setting it rolling down the road. We assumed it would roll off into the ditch and maybe take out some barbwire or at best a mailbox, but, it went straight down the crest of the road about 1/4 mile and into someones yard where it came to rest in the middle of a large circle where the above ground swimming pool was now laying in a puddle of water. oops!

 

The same friend I was with that night started a small dozer and jumped when it started moving. being small, it stopped when it a dumptruck. DAMN KIDS!

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wow, what memories! I too have done alot of these things:

 

playing darts, useing each other as targets. Only we called it ninja wars. Indeed, we even got unsharpend chinese starts and hucked them at each other. Eventually we graduated to BB guns (protective eyewear? what protective eyewear?) and shot up each other. Then paintball because at least you could prove when you tagged someone. When we tired of shooting each other, we got in cars late at night and performed "sniper" attacks on 18 wheelers on the freeway (we believed doing against passenger cars would startle someone so much they could actually swerve and hit us, or run off the road, and we didnt want that...)

 

shooting arrows straight up, yup we did that with broadheads. We knew we had 30 seconds to run for cover (the wood shed) and so it seemed fine...until the arrows started landing in neighbors yards...

 

touch the tree-top! great one! we used to climb oldgrowth eastern white pines (like 200+ feet high) and use grappeling hooks just to reach the first branches. thats actually what got me into climbing!!

 

we put together bottle rocket launchers out of copper plumbing tubing, and shoot them at each other. Lots of M80s exploding on skin (hurt, ouch). we drew the line at quarter sticks

 

We would sit in dense trees and huck large pinecones at passing cars, thinking they would think it was just the tree dropping pinecones. Of course, if you are in the car, and suddenly assulted by a volley of 5 cones, you might think differntly...

 

ripping it up with dirtbikes in the local farmers field. he hated that. The first time he came after us with a shotgun was the last time we did that.

 

jumping off the roof! yeah but that was fun, not stupid...learn to drop and roll...important ninja technique

 

got fully camoed out and wandered around the local state parks with machetes, guns and knives. no harm ever done, but were not too surprised when the local cops finally caught us (no doubt after many "terrorist" sightings) and confiscated all that stuff and called our parents.

 

"hunting" just about anything, with any kind of weapon we could get our hands on

 

pour lots of gasoline on sidewalk, watch neighbor kids approach on bikes, light er up!!!

 

thinking I was terribly clever pissing off some upstate NY locals, and then trying to hightail it in a my BMW 2002 with Jersey plates. Thats the day I discovered a stock 2002 is NOT a rally-ready car!!

 

paintball sniper attacks against ATMs and local businesses, culminating in an attack against a convenience store where a hated high school classmate was doing a shift that night...it was all so pointless, but we didnt know that then

 

tying a rope onto a bumper and really getting rockin on skateboards. Thats when you discover "speed wobbles"!!

 

rock attacks against freight trains. yeah yeah we all did this, but we also had track cops to reckon with, so the dirt bikes were always stashed for the getaway

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Back in college days...Came from a peaceful and family neighborhood and was leaving home for first time. My mother was worried about the "area" that my apartment was in so I invited her up to take a look and see that everything was okay. She came in, walked to the 2nd story balcony to be greeted by some bum in the alley. He then proceeds to shout up, "Hey baby! Want a piece of my dirty d..k? Come on over to my box!" Then he pisses on the ground towards my apartment. Well,it wasn't that bad...

 

Remember being about 7 with the big wheels trike. We lived on a steep hill and would start at the top and try to see who would be the first to bail before a 15 foot drop off at the bottom. Needless to say, I stayed on and ended up with a broken ankle, nose, and wrist. That summer really sucked... [MR T]

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