Uncle_Tricky Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 Scene: A hot day in the Utah desert. A young crewcut feller is free soloing up a free standing desert tower. He stems up a vertical chimney with parallel walls for many hundreds of feet, then moves onto the face. The face becomes steeply overhanging--perhaps 5.12 with loose rotten sandstone. He dynos to a bucket. The hold breaks away, and falls into the void. His feet cut loose, but he manages to snag a quarter inch edge, just in time to avoid plunging to his death. Hanging by two fingers, his feet swinging wildly over empty space, he almost loses it. Concentrating his will, he gets his feet back on the steeply overhanging rotten sandstone, and continues on. Finally, he pulls a tough mantle onto the summit, sweat stinging his eyes. A divine blue tornado of fire comes down from the heavens and envelops him. He emerges transformed: clad in military dress uniform, he's now one of The Few, The Proud, The Marines! That which did not kill him has made him stronger, prouder, and more noble. He stares out, steely gaze hardened from facing death and wonders "why am I standing on top of a desert tower in the middle of July in a scratchy wool uniform?" And more pressingly, "how the fuck am I going to get down with no damn rope???" ------- Ah, this is but one of the many current advertisements running with climbing as the theme. Others include Old Spice Xtreem Sport Deodorant (make sure you're smelling sweet for those climbing betties on long alpine ascents!) And of course the Ford "No Boundries" commercial featuring some grizzled old guys on a big wall, shouting back and forth, wondering who brought the caribiners. Hanging below their portaledge is a tricked out SUV. I'm sure I'm missing others... So my question is, are we climbers just so xtremely kewl that we move produkt, or is this a clear sign of the impending apocalypse? [ 04-28-2002, 12:53 AM: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruddersbox Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 Here is a sign! "how the fuck am I going to fly my flag with no damn rope" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 quote: Originally posted by Uncle Tricky: "how the fuck am I going to get down with no damn rope???" Ropes? you're ignorant. You call in the cavalry direct with the HH-60 to pluck you out of utah, do a few laps around the midwest to keep the taxpayers busy and enjoy a beer back at gitmo while you're kicking some tailban ass in the steel cages at x-ray (or whatever they call it now...enduring freedom? infinite justice? or is it some other cheesy superlative now?) Smoke 'em out! -Iain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkrueger Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 The corporate ad machine is only getting worse in its use of us climber folk to promote and sell their products. Emotion sells product, and everyone wants to feel like we do - only they don't want to get off their duff to do it! So, they are able to live vicariously through us by buying shit that none of us really use. By the way, does anyone know where I can get an Old Spice sticker for my vehicle? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 I'll peel mine off the yakima spacecase. I need to make more room for my calvin pissing stickers and my Black Diamond Helmet Sticker Pack™ Check it out: BDC Helmet Sticker Pack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 do you want that to go with your jeep so that the photo mat peeps can look at our pics and say " I didn't know two people could do that"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysticNacho Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 Wow, a helmet sticker pack!?!?! I haven't been this excited since Climbing magazine gave out free stickers with their issue! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
max Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 As absolutely retared the sticker pack is, if it meant the differenc between my daughter wearing or not wearing a helmet while they climbed, I'd buy two. Otherwise these things belong in Boulder only! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fern Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 isn't that grizzled old guy on the portaledge Hans Florine or something? last year on the BD site you could fill out a questionnaire and they CLAIMED they would send you free stickers. I spent many precious moments deciding whether I felt oval carabiners are 5:Extremely Useful, 4: Moderately Useful, 3:Useful, 4:Not Useful, 5:Pointless and Irrelevant. Did I receive a sticker pack in return for my honest and well considered thoughts? ... No I did not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Figger_Eight Posted April 30, 2002 Share Posted April 30, 2002 Ford Explorer...? I'm talking: Chevy Avalanche North Face Edition Put me behind the wheel and get the fuck outta my way. I am so extreme and cool you can all kiss my ass. Hey...is that you Allison? [ 04-29-2002, 11:16 PM: Message edited by: Figger Eight ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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