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Backcountry

Team Gander Mountain--Denali

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Team Gander Mountain is headed to Denali.

Equipped with the latest in hi-tech gear from the catalog. New technology utilized has enabled the team to climb higher and faster.

--Advances such as the new refillable propane stove with lite-wieght steel burner and steel stove base.

--New extreme durability 100% nylon outerwear, protects our team in the harshest of realms.

--All new for this year the 100% cotton sleeping bags, no more stickey "synthetic" bags, sleep in comfort.

Team Gander Mountain supports the Tread-lightly program even though thier packs only wiegh 100 pounds now with the latest in lite-wieght alpine gear.

Good luck guys!!!

[This message has been edited by Backcountry (edited 05-01-2001).]

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b/c

maybe are teams can link up. i am trying to do a wall by wall-mart. though sam right now won't return any of my mail and last time i stopped by the mansion i got shut out and then when i hopped the fence, to correct their appointment error, they put the dogs out.

i currently have a hanging bbq from webber and two new pair of danner boots. with a figure eight with extra handles.

good luck!

hope to see in the rescue copter!

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Breakthough advances in composite technology created the opportunity for Team Gander Mountain to deploy the all new hi-ploymer lawn furniture high upon the route. The aircraft grade aluminum alloy and superlite hi-polymerized white plastic provide for the greatest strength and lightest weight lawn furniture offered on the market for an expedition of this caliber.

The Team Gander Mountain expedition will also be beta testing a new and as yet untried "Mountain Cooler". This "Mountain Cooler" will provide the highest levels of cooling for the expeditions supplies, more than any other lesser "cooler" can provide in the harsh Artic realm.

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I would suggest using the inflatable furniture made by alpinestout.com they have a built in cooler with thier chairs. However if you already have a sponsor go with your super duper superlite hi-polymerized white plastic stuff.

Good luck and send us reports!

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Since you are supplying all this great gear already b/c can I also get one of your "sleds" to haul this junk up in. I'm not talking about one of those kiddie sleds either...I want the one that will shoot up 70 degree slopes and make lots of noise. I already coordinated the Chinook to airlift it in. I also need the generator to power our TRS 80 for our trip reports. Oh yea...since Jeff is AWOL the name is officially DMS. We will be sure to uphold the standards of Team Gander Mountain however.

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We at the Team Gander Mountain Research and Developement Department strive to provide our team with the latest, most innovative and technologically advanced gear.

I was hoping to not have to release this info prior the completion of the beta testing from the expedition, however, recent market trends show that I must.

Relying upon space age technology, the same type innovations found on the current space shuttles, the TGM R&D announces the beta testing plan for the new hi-porous decreased density thermogenic TGM cast iron cookware. The thermogenic properties of this cast iron cookware will enable our Team to use less fuel thereby offsetting the increased weight from a cast iron pan. Not only will this pan function as such, but it also will be tested by Mr. Halling himself as the multi-purpose belay anchor and glissade device for hasty retreats from altitude.

[This message has been edited by Backcountry (edited 05-01-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Backcountry (edited 05-01-2001).]

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Danny-boy...your new job must not be challenging enough. It is obvious you have too much time on your hands. Tomorrow night we will test and designate the official team energy-rejuvinating beverage. Out.

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Right on team Gardener. Remember cotton is the fabric of the future. Also I hope you have enough electronic gear.

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Are you guys planning on giving an op order or what?

I can fund those heavy sleds that move up 70 degree slopes. The Shithooks are also available for testing.

We can get some porno stars in for the basecamp too shocked.gif

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Oh my no...being the professional expedition that it is TGM would not even consider using the "amateur" women from the Tilliscum or the Bulletstop area. Those women are the minor league. Our women are plucked straight off of Rainer Av. and E. Marginal Wy. They have earned the right to be titled "professional" women, and therefore have earned the right to be on the TGM expedition. They will also double as the team doctors and will dispense (when neccessary) the latest in high altitude "medicines". tongue.gif

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Op order? Team Gander Mountain is past the Op Order stage. We are operating entirely on Frago's now. As for the porno stars...I can't believe you didn't think our service/support didn't already take care of that. The finest crack whores from Rainer Av. have already been contracted and will be awaiting the team's arrival in base camp. The team has gone all out and is sparing no expense...some of them even have all of their teeth. Maybe the team's official head gear should be the black beret. S

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Nice chaps,

Keep sending in the sitreps. Do you get these women from Til-I-Cum or was it Hilltop next to E-Dogs home grin.gif

[This message has been edited by Cpt.Caveman (edited 05-02-2001).]

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You must be the OIC Sean. Nice command you have here. Keep up the good work! I admire your leadership.

What kind of medicines do these doctors\hos specialize in? The hempfest must begin! I imagine some hallucinogenics are in the batch too. Maybe they specialize in STD medicines tongue.gif

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Team Gander Mountain er, I mean DMS [we ought to be Team Gander Mountain (-)] update:

Currently, the OIC (Sean) is having a mental break down. It seems that the T-shirts haven't made it in yet, the book deal is falling through, no web site has been established yet, and the beautiful climbing babes have yet to start knocking on our doors--and we only have FIVE days before we leave. I tried to explain to our fearless leader that these were minor setbacks on our conquering of the INFAMOUS West Buttress, but all I could get out of him between bouts maniacal frothing from the mouth was "Team Harsh Realm is gonna' steal our glory!?!" Well Sean, you forgot about our secret weapon--the Atomic Ego drop. If Harsh Realm gets in the way of us on our 'First whore aided ascent' they'll never have an ounce of self-esteem again! Come on man, stop drooling on the couch--we've got to get UP for this!

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Thanks for the support Cpt. Caveman!! Our basecamp "ho's" will not have to deal with the invaluable STD medicines....that's what the 18D on the team is for. They have a lot more experience with that type o' thang.

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Who are you wpleasance? What is the running password? I can't believe you are trying to pose as a member of TGM so you can create animosity between TGM and Team Harsh Reality. TGM's only animosity is with Team Gator led by "W". When the R and D mission is complete, TGM will switch to our follow-on mission of search and destroy (or is it search and locate in todays kinder, gentler climate) of Team Gator's camp. Wpleasnace you better "check your fire!" Backcountry...you know what to do.

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Team W-Gator is weak and feeble, they will tremble at the omni-presence of the super high speed Team Gander Mountain climbers...

The E-commerence portion of the Team Gander Mountain is coming soon. T-shirts have been made...oh yes...they have been made...

I am currently working with our IT dept to get the website rolling. Please check back here and I hopefully will have a website up and running that will have expedition updates and photos up the TGM return.

The media relations portion of TGM is currently in-work on some more announcements concerning the expedition support.

--Backcountry

Team Gander Mountain

R&D Director

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At what time are you scheduled to cross Phase Line Smoca-Bola?

Look forward to seeing the summit shots in your dress greens mit mickey mouse boots too grin.gif Or whatever uniform is set. Are you taking battalion guidons?

Make sure you take some mortar rounds to mop up any anvie paths that lie in front of your team. You can booby trap your basecamp with some claymores and concertina wire from Team Harsh Reality too.

Are you guys gonna fastrope into basecamp via shithook? Makes for a nice media shot.

Shot over~

captcave.jpg

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Team DMS [AKA Team Gander Mountain (-)] has just completed pre-Denali. Results were: "S" was the honor grad as he was able to bullshit his way to the top better than anyone else in the course. "D" got a major minus spot report for lack of situational awareness during the "Knock out your climbing partner" drill. His chain of command is sending him to Denali with "S" as punishment for this failure!

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Ah, but you BOYS are obviously not aware that we have already mounted high-tech surveillance equipment at various points on the mountain, which serves two purposes: to film our ascent for everyone to see (of course, duh) and, to monitor TGM. So, while you are looking for our stealth snowcave in vain, we will be watching YOU. That's right. You'll never know when or where, but we are WATCHING! Bwoaahh hahahhahahaahha.

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"TGM on the ground, this is Little Bird laze the target." "Roger Little Bird 200 meters, 12 0' clock of our position lazing now" Mortars and claymores? Who needs them. We'll have Little Birds on stand-by to hit targets (human or natural) that try to stand in the way of TGM's objectives. As for you "W" I will personally be holding the "ginsu blades of death" in reserve for your demise so bring it on mo'frappy. As for guidons...we'll just steal one of Harsh Reality's T-shirts and drape it on on a couple of wands. That'll motivate us I'm sure. We're gonna use wpleasance as a wind dummy to test the validity of the fast rope option from a Cessna 180. "Remember to PLF!" Anyways it's about time for the JMPI. Shot out.

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I dug up a nice mug shot of Scottclimbs of Team Harsh Realm ! homer.jpg

 

[This message has been edited by Cpt.Caveman (edited 05-11-2001).]

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Happy to announce that the Team Gander Mountain expedition is on piste`.

Reports to follow, please stay tuned

Backcountry

Team Gander Mountain

R&D Director

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