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      WELCOME TO THE CASCADECLIMBERS.COM FORUMS   02/03/18

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go and lead the first pitch of smoke signals, i'd love to hear what you think about it :) it's the pitch next to ivans famed stone soup.

 

That route is listed in the brand new guidebook as "Crossdressing Fool" 5.10+, 13 bolts. Just got done last year.

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go and lead the first pitch of smoke signals, i'd love to hear what you think about it :) it's the pitch next to ivans famed stone soup.

 

That route is listed in the brand new guidebook as "Crossdressing Fool" 5.10+, 13 bolts. Just got done last year.

 

i could totally see it getting bolted some day, no one has the nut sac to go lead it with gear....

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i could totally see it getting bolted some day, no one has the nut sac to go lead it with gear....

 

Calling Kevbone and Arndt...... in the house?

 

 

arent led that when jim and i put it up...

Edited by pink

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is this directly climbers left of Ivans first pitch of stone soup? I looked at it when we did the stone a couple weeks ago an didn't see any bolts, but I do agree that it looks climbable on gear.

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is this directly climbers left of Ivans first pitch of stone soup? I looked at it when we did the stone a couple weeks ago an didn't see any bolts, but I do agree that it looks climbable on gear.

 

exactly, and better than the first pitch of stone soup cause it's el natural... first pitch of "smoke signals" is 5.10 with two variations at the top. it has some cool moves on it, would like to see it get traffic so it doesn't get over grown. someone will think they found a new route someday and bolt it.

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The anchors were replaced so I shouldn't think folks would believe it hadn't been climbed.

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Its all uncharted rock out there boys, but someone has bravely rapped in with a powerdrill and replaced all the anchors, and stripped whatever historic gear they could from the rock. Thank you so much for cleaning up the rock and keeping it safe from vandals.

 

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You're definitely welcome, but hey, head over to the ranger station or Opdycke's any time you get nostalgic, they have every bit of that 'historic' trash. Of course feel free to gloss over the fact 54 of 72 of those replaced [pre-]historic anchors had both bolts spinning and two of those anchors were going to kill someone what with one bolt breaking solely under the resting weight of the breaker bar and the other three breaking in under a third of a turn. Oh, the friggin' humanity...!

 

And 'uncharted'? Dude, there's only one stretch of uncharted rock out there worth trying to climb. The rest? It was all oh-so-well-charted in the 80's and 90's.

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You're definitely welcome, but hey, head over to the ranger station or Opdycke's any time you get nostalgic, they have every bit of that 'historic' trash.

 

I have replace several anchors in my time and never once did I remove the old anchor. Simply added a new one that is safe. Just saying.......

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You're definitely welcome, but hey, head over to the ranger station or Opdycke's any time you get nostalgic, they have every bit of that 'historic' trash.

I have replace several anchors in my time and never once did I remove the old anchor. Simply added a new one that is safe. Just saying.......

Say away. That wasn't the deal with the Lisa Lantz (the WSP Resource Steward). And the only 'historic' anchor of the 72 was Schmitz, Levin & Caldwell's anchor on Flying Swallow and it's still there. But double-up 72 anchors? Seriously? Yeah, that really happens everywhere.

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new year, new beatard count

 

1/1/13 - day#1 - curiously cold and icy and windblown lap on the corner w/ that powderhound chap, clad in a goddamn gordon's fisherman jumpsuit w/ tight matching-colored gear - wondrous ice-curtain on the slab pitch, under the roofs, and frostcicles on tree ledge - a frozen gully choked w/ gravel up on grassy ledge - sand-storms out on the island, carrying grit all the way across the water to the docks - the boat landing slammed w/ waves, breaking across the ice-clad pier - many tourons on the trail - a fine, quick lap - the first day of Beatardia 2013!

 

 

1/12 - day#2 - strange day - freezing fog on the wakeup, car shackled in ice at the dawn - geoff at the burger king - high-speed jet through the quiet lull of the gorge, the road dry n' gentle - beacon becalmed, all door discipline disregarded - a great gut-laugh at the peach allah had gracefully cast into our laps - i get all the leads down low - consensus conditions S5 (our ascent of 12/21/12 in recent memory a retard S9, damn near pegging the limit of the possible) - challenging lead conditions for sure still, with sheet-freeze all over, slowly peeling off in the relatively tropical conditions - runnels of run-off bubbling underneath the ice - the sun bursting through the clear air - rumbles of gunfire, pap-pap-pap-pap, a militia-action for certain on the oregon shores - slip-sliding away all over from grassy ledges up - glimpse of the bonneville crick draining into the river, all jizzum-milky, the vas defernes of the columbian cock- exited the long way, the Great Coward wending all to Starboard where he could - a walk down all bathed in rays of a riotous golden orb - jim at the base w/ an old boy - oaths and auguries, threats and Aggravated Assaults considered - an easy orbit back through the steaming warmth of the gorge-winter disbanded, if only for a bit

 

1/22 - #3 - annealed by two recent days at smith in the Big Fridge of the bivy site, mornings traversing the phantasmagorical formations of frozen sludge, mike and i had an evening run up the bacon-wand in a big olde freshet of gaudy coldness

 

a big dry had beaten off the vast damp of days gone by - barely any ice on route - half the digits of my right foot right numb by grassy ledges, i unshod and rubbed hardly any life back into them - toes throb as i type

 

booty nut on p2, should the original owner wish to claim it from a massive pile of such things i have growing in my garage

 

not even a fort-night of fucknoodling about the sunny-side left - full moon fever this weekend for any half-wit warriors who might feel the urge to come w/...

 

 

 

2/2 - day #4 - ground hogz day, a swift demise to deadly winter predicted - 'twas the day after a wander up the hood-wand w/ an interesting feller to dispatch the doldrum of the beacon s side closure - ya never stop learning in the mountains, this time 2 Ore-e-gone Snowboard'nBoyz taught me how to inhale green weeds through green apples using nothing more than a glorious bright winter sun and a magnifying glass - a good invention for the stiff breezes off an open glacier - much thanks for them that rock the Van Damme :)

 

stone soup w/ geoff today - despite the distinct sense of early spring setting in as the Great Hamster foresaw, it was a mort cold and savage breezy - geoff did p1, and i managed to mangle meself on p2 - found a fixed nut at the start of the eyebrow traverse and was hanging out on it for awhile, had just plugged the next cam in when suddenly i was falling - fell/slid into a slab, instinctively grabbing an edge to stop the fall, sheared off the flesh of my pinky-tip and sprung the sprockets in the other fingers' knuckles, then went heads'o'er'tits and continued on down, getting entangled in the rope running up through the gear and ultimately arresting hanging upside down looking straight at the olde boye, who looked frankly startled :)

 

blood pouring from the flensed n' flapping finger, i wrapped my balaclava about it n' took stock - had a good gut laugh upon recalling that last time i climbed on this side, last spring, i'd ended up in the e.r. too - maybe i'm just not getting the message? :)

 

geoff was my hero - not only did he finish the pitch, he also figured out how, after 10 minutes, to get my damn knot untied by pounding on it w/ a jug - the big breeze blew itself out as dejected would-be hiking trail ascenders milled about the parking lot and i howled at the sky in mock musical appreciation - the climb done, we went off, each to his saturday night debaucheries and me to keen my wound w/ wanton drunkenness :P

 

4/25 - day 5 - holy shee-it muslims, it's been 2 months - lovely spring day - many olde boyes humping the o-zone on the way out - on the north side, the sun peaking over, one hand washes the other, i fear nothing - 3 peregrines screeching n' flopping about - green grass - crisp n' crunchy moss - had time to stop by and yack-yack w/ jim n' sal n' steve n' wes n' a whole motley crew of misfits n' misogynistic fucks on the way back - did a couple solo laps on the jacobs ladder and drank some beers, then boogied on back home for "house of cards" w/ the wifey

 

jesus-h-christ, why are they doing more construction on the 14?!?

 

4/30 - beacon day 6 for the year - only 2 days at the baconwand this month, but spring seems to be here fo'shiz, even if today it was right blustery and overcast - scrambly, scrambly on the n side for a while, then a satisfying hike to the summit - the 70th anniversary of an intelligence coup - "mincemeat has been swallowed" - peregrines apparent from the uprising exit, swooping and screeching and having a ball it looked - kenny in the lot, horrifyingly still set in his hate-tobacco way, but w/ rainier-beer as always :)

 

5/2 - day 7 - all my pardners bail - the pearl is in the river - john has a long mustache - freedom is slavery, war is peace!!!

 

5/4 - international star-wars day, may the fourth be with you :) beatard day 8 for 2013 - stoned stupor w/ bryan n' bob - bryan styles following p1 and leads p2 almost all clean - breezy n' balmy - eyes scuppered w/ dust-scum as i type - stooooked for a fine day in the sun - olde boys climbing below us on the spike route, a fine view from the phone booth - miker stops by for a chat even - summer's upon us!

 

5/6 - day #9 - afternoon sprint up the sun-baked monolith after union meetings and whatnot - pilgrims at dawn - days gone by and dead men ghosts - great gashes in the highway - asphalt scars and concrete wars - the red devil turns over 190k even as the cd player craps in the bed, carrying nico blue into the way blue yonder - the pearl is in the river :)

 

5/8 - beatard day 10 of the year - jesus christ on a cum-stained cushioned couch, this'er fine weather just won't fucking quit! out to slouch and lounge around the bacon-wand once more, scrambly-scrambly here and there along the north wall - figure its about time to scoot up the spike route sans rope i reckon - on up to the slumit in rude circuitous style, but all the beauty on the scamper back down - a buxom couple encountered cruising on up the packinko-portion of the trail, dressed appropriate for a warm day - i cast down mine eyes, unworthy as i am, only to be brought up sharp by a strange question from the sultry lassie - a great gaping grin, "oh no, heaven's no, how could you think that and who might you be" - claimed to know me and my sorcerous ways, but most surely she must mistake me for some other beatard cunt? "you were that guy guzzling boxed wine and chain-smoking camels last summer!" - goddammit, i must stop meeting ladies of quality in my long aestival blacked-out ambulations, it augers poor for my alternate-reality amors! :grin:

 

"AF is having problems w/ its fresh-water condensers" :rawk:

 

5/10 - day 11 - linked strong arms w/ der phuzzy, all phresh from phucking himself good n' proper last burn'n'man, flensed scars from incisions all about his satellite-parts - to the n side we did fly, me w/ the big wall dumpster full of wine n' hammers n' what have you...beers n' butts at the base - the spike route ensconced in scum n' villainy - we scamper up the right side first, when ole'jim w/ a jingus-voice arrived n' whisper-hollered up at us - to the tree n' the site of new natural destruction wrought all around, stone-fall n' swathes of moss scoured off in flight - we rap back to the big boy for bitter conversation and big Olde Tymes - intolerance for them a week earlier w/ their wire-brushes - gut laughs n' tyranny gestated - adam n' i up genesis to the tree again as the sun glows low - i above that, but bailing on a bolt too steep to suss out in the gloaming - the base again, shade-slumming w/ pall malls n' precious beer w/o end - the stumble-fuck in the dark, the way-back-bent in style - departure n' parting - kevbone no doubt kluster-fucked, i conklude :)

 

5/11 - a dozen days so far - 5 days this week :rawk: - junuary kicked square in the nuts, but waiting in the wings it seems - good thing really, i'm on the verge of tweaking out my fingers already - dogs in my dreams, feeding on my feet - terror at daybreak, broken in the bone yard - the ringing of bells at all hours, the horror of home-coming gone wrong - dust, dust, dust - the bloody angle when the walls fell - spotsylvania on a warm spring evening - they sing the body electric, and then they too Pass Beyond :brew:

 

5/14 - lucky #13 - gray and gaunt at the dawn, dim-minded and mopey - when the world dies in an orgasm of heavenly-fire, how i fucking hope it's a tuesday, and early in the morning to boot, to spare me the whole gory goddamn details of the day - tuesday, the red-haired stepchild of the torrid week - hitler was conceived on a tuesday - it's true, you can google that shit man :)

 

sun breaks around noon, life reviving, rock drying, seniors shuffle in and out in a hyperstatic hepped-up euphoric hangover - the red devil galloping east through the gorge, growling at these goddamn men in their machines gouging out the concrete and showering everything in gravel - the tyranny inherent in giving any man a blaze-orange vest and sign, too gross to contemplate in the golden sunshine searing through my senses

 

RIP william fetterman, you awful fucker - "give me 80 men and i can ride through the whole sioux nation" - yeah, how'd that one work for ya, son? :)

 

5/20 - day 14 - a week of piss wedder, sunday's window spent wrangling kidz and wrestling w/ the garden n' chores n' what-have-you - union bidness at the close of day, my wits as always confounded n' humbled by the human machinery of government made flesh - the ghost of winston smith haunts me, but it's a special merry kind of fool who can't make lemonade out of a luscious afternoon of sun and rushing warm air gusting down the gorge - get on your fucking horse, dr rick marshall!

 

kenny's rig in the lot, him and sneezy-jim already up the spike route i reckon - i settle for a sleazy saunter up the big rock, lost in the gauzy thoughts gamboling through my thick head - the moon waxes great, will the wedder-gods set me up a solid?

 

fosters on the falling back, cops holed up n' counting donut-holes at cape horn - thank christ i don't have a cigarette to shit on this wondrous scene :)

5/31 - day 15, 9 dayz this gentle may - heartbreak for days gone by - memorial day weekend at tieton a near total bust - communiques pist upon for tr's w/o pixels - a week with pouring rain and occasional piercing sun w/o rainbows

 

ain't seen mike since a far long time it seems - set out in the afternoon for a ramble up the spike route, him not having had it he said - the base gross n' baking - thick drip and damp on the rock like it'd been sprayed w/ horse-semen - genesis after nearly shitting a kitten on the klutchy-klutchy start - mike made p2 not so sad, but like me needed to stand on the anchor bolts whilst thrutch-fucking into the danky mcdankerson pod there :)

 

dug leading the 3rd pitch spike-part proper, but this time w/ a stout old black cock of static death to bat-man on up the slab

 

beerz n' gut-laughing n' music up in the woods - mike does p4 and dislodges a big old panel to come whiffling down my ways - i do the last bit up to the trail wading through thick-glades of oak, oily and fresh and full of fear

 

bongos at the summit, guitars n' young ones yodeling - jesus-harold-christ, children I Know up there doing god know's what - ruins my summit celebration, but what can you do - wizened age equals patience equals wisdom?

 

rolling rock n' reefers on the ramble on down - the new Man meandering around, tending the meters in the lot - don't seem like too fearsome a feller...

 

"something seems wrong w/ our bloody ships today!"

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Steve your right!!! he gets his jollies on trying too be someone that he just well never be!!Joe go too Smith and start replaced bolts there see what happens too ya!!!

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Steve your right!!! he gets his jollies on trying too be someone that he just well never be!!Joe go too Smith and start replaced bolts there see what happens too ya!!!

Well Dennis, it's all just part of the beauty of being someone I've already been and still enjoying it (and do feel free to try and lead any of my routes if you have any doubts about that at all).

 

Steve, which part of 54 anchors had both bolts freely spinning did you miss. And maybe the math is bit challenging as well - let me give you a hand with that: 72 / 2 - 36 < 54. But hey, don't let the details bog you down.

 

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54 anchors had bolts spinning? Really, seriously...come on... Many of your "new" anchors have spinners on them. How many bolts had you placed in the past before you went on your rampage at Beacon? or was this a new thing?

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Steve he can only count back wards, and thats if he has hes shoes off.Hes trying too look important too someone maybe the Rangers or maybe just himself. A good strong wind well get rid of him maybe forever!!As far as your routes Joe there all bull shit just like you, the only thing that spins is your head!!!

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54 anchors had bolts spinning? Really, seriously...come on... Many of your "new" anchors have spinners on them. How many bolts had you placed in the past before you went on your rampage at Beacon? or was this a new thing?

Yes, seriously, 54 anchors had BOTH bolts spinning free in their holes. So which of the replacement anchors has a bolt spinning in the hole?

 

As far as your routes Joe there all bull shit just like you

No doubt what you think of any route you can't lead.

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Hey Guys, take your bullshit somewhere else like Facebook or MySpace.

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but that's like letting the cancer metastasize! :)

 

not that anyone cares for my opinion, but should they wish it, i see no problem in folks replacing every single bolt at beacon every single year, assuming it goes in the same hole and is filled w/ equal or greater quality materials (and would be very happy if joe did this for the entirety of stone soup, should he be bored and find the time on his hands :) )

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(and would be very happy if joe did this for the entirety of stone soup, should he be bored and find the time on his hands :) )

 

with one exception. That bolt that is on the wide pitch, needs to be moved up about four feet so it actually keeps you off the ground...

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