A SPECIAL INTERVIEW

[666]

BOLT MONSTER SITS DOWN WITH “RESPECTED PNW CLIMBER”

B.M.- SO HOWS IT GOING LATELY BUDDY?

P.N.W- NOT TOO BAD GOT SOME REALLY NICE PROJECTS IN THE WORKS. KIDS ARE DOING GREAT AND I JUST GOT A NEW MIRROR FOR MY HELMET, SO I CAN SEE MY BIGGEST FAN ALL TIME. ME!

B.M.- THAT’S GREAT P. YOU MIND LETTING THE REST OF US UNRESPECTED FOOLS INTO YOUR BAG OF PROJECTS.

P.N.W.- WELL…ERRRR….AHEM….SURE!? THIS PAST MONTH I HAVE GONE OUT AND CLIMBED ALL THE MAJOR ROADCUTS ALONG I-90. GREAT ROCK, YOU JUST HAVE TO REMOVE ALL THE CHOSS ON TOP. YOU KNOW WITH THE NEW HILTI BOLT GUN, IT MAKES THE GRID BOLTING NOT JUST A DREAM, BUT A REALITY. IT IS A DREAM OF MINE TO MAKE THE IRON HORSE TRAIL A SPORT CLIMB, KIND OF LIKE A MY COUP DE TAT OF RESPECTED P.N.W. CLIMBS.

B.M.- JEEZ, THAT SOUND SLIKE A LOT OF WORK THAT MAYBE NOT EVERYONE WILL APPRECIATE.

P.N.W.- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

B.M.- WELL…LOOKING AT YOUR PAST RESPECTED RETRO BOLTING OF PUBLIC LAND, THE PUBLIC OUTCRY WAS IMMENSE. IT SEEMED THAT PEOPLE QUITE DIDN’T SHARE THE SAME VIEW WITH YOU. SOME OTHER LOCAL CLIMBERS EVEN WENT AS FAR AS TO THE RESTORE THE ROUTE. HAVE YOU GOTTEN ANY FEED BACK FROM THE PUBLIC ON YOUR NEW PROJECT?

P.N.W.- CERTAINLY, I’VE TALKED TO MY BROTHER AND LIKE 5 OF MY CLOSEST FELLOW RESPECTED PNW CLIMBERS. THEY ALL THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE GREAT. A ROUTE THAT EVERYONE WHO HAS LITTLE SKILL OR SENSE OF ADVENTURE COULD COMPLETE. THIS WAY, WE BRING THE SPORT THE MASSES. THIS PROJECT IS NOT JUST ROADSIDE, IT IS THE ROAD. I MEAN THE IDEALS ARE GREAT.

B.M.- SO, WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS TO MAKE CLIMBING A NEW MARKET, SOMETHING THAT IS SAFE AND FUN AND CARRIES LITTLE OF THE PAST HISTORY AND ADVENTURE OF THE SPORT?

P.N.W.- WHAT DO YOU MEAN HISTORY? RETRO-BOLTING HAS BEEN ONLY AROUND SINCE THE 80’S. THERE’S NO HISTORY THERE. AND YES I WANT EVERYONE TO CLIMB.

B.M.- DO YOU WORK AT R.E.I.?

P.N.W.- maybe

B.M.- SO, WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE IN THE WORKS? ANY NEW BIG FIRST ASCENTS IN YOUR SIGHTS?

P.N.W.- SOME OF US REPSPECTED P.N.W. CLIMBERS HAVE BEEN TOYING WITH IDEA OF DYNAMITING CASTLE ROCK. THAT WAY EVERYONE CAN HAVE A PIECE. WE PLAN TO ATTACH A BOLT TO EACH STONE, SO THEY CAN CLIP IT THEIR KEY CHAINS. WE CAME UP WITH IDEA ONE RAINY DAY. I WAS DRVING PAST CASTLE ROCK IN A DOWN POUR, I LOOKED UP AT THE CRAG AND NO ONE WAS CLIMBING! SO I FIGURED THAT NO ONE WOULD MIND IF I TURNED IT INTO A PILE OF SHIT THAT ALL COULD FELL THEY HAD CONQUERED SOMETHING GREAT.

B.M.- SERIOUSLY?!

P.N.W.- WHY NOT, ALL MY FRIENDS SAID IT SOUNDED GOOD.

B.M.- WHAT OF THE PEOPLE THAT STILL ASPIRE TO CLIMB IT.

P.N.W.- COME ON, WHO WOULDN’T WANT A PIECE OF CASTLE, IT’S OLD AND SINCE SOMEONE CHOPPED MY NEW SPORT ROUTE. I GOT THE IDEA THAT NO ONE CLIMBED THERE ANY MORE. JUST LOOK. LITTLE SI, WHAT A HAVEN YOU CAN GO THERE WITH NO ETHICS AND LIMITED TECHNIQUE AND PRACTICALLY CONQUER THE CRAG. THEN THERE IS INDEX, HARDLY ANYONE GOES THERE AND IT TAKES BALLS TO CLIMB THERE. THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY MAN, WE ARE MASS-COMSUMERISM, LAZY, FAT AND UNISPIRED AMERICANS, DO AWAY WITH YOUR IDEALS AND TURN TO THE SLACK MIND EASE OF SPORT CLIMBING.

B.M.- YOU KNOW P.N.W. IT HAS BEEN GREAT TALKING TO YOU, SINCE YOU ARE SOOOOO RESPECTED. BUT THEN AGAIN WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, OTHER THEN TO DEFACE WHAT IS ALL OF OURS AND NOT JUST YOUR FELLOW RESPECTED P.N.W. CLIMBERS. REALLY MAKES ME SICK AND HAS NO BEARING ON HOW I CLIMB. SO IN THE END MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK BEYOND YOUR OWN SHORTSIDEDNESS AND INCLUDE EVERYONE INTO YOUR LITTLE RESPECTED P.N.W. CLIMBERS CLUB. MORE PEOPLE THEN YOUR FRIENDS MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE A NICE DAY.

 

 

[Dru]

Hee hee.

[mikeadam]

I can't remember if I sent you my little link?

[Pencil_Pusher]

KISS

All caps was a bit much. Gee, I wonder where YOU stand on this issue, cookie monster.

[erik]

looks like there might be sport climb, i aspire to do now! i will probably have to borrow some ropes! anyone want to belay?