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billcoe

Climbing Partner Test

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Funny test on Climbing.com on how to pre-screen your potential climbing partners (or take the test yourself).

 

http://www.climbing.com link

 

"Scores of 76-100: You are the best of the best of the best. You probably climb with your husband Tommy, or your wife Beth." :lmao:

 

I scored a 48.

 

:wave:

 

 

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66

 

Scores of 61-75: This is a stage that few people make it to. You will honestly have a hard time finding partners with equal climbing ethos and skills, as climbers in this range and higher tend to be very monogamous and are very faithful to their climbing partners; many in this category have had the same climbing partner for over 10 years. You may have to settle for a climber in a lower category. "Settle" may not be the right word... Adopt?

Goddamn! This sonuvabitchin' test is accurate! Frank was a forever partner until I moved out west and he got killed. Then Larry was a forever partner until he got married and moved to PDX. My kids are adopted... does that mean they're my next partners??? :laf:

 

...Generally, the higher your score, the more old school, traditional, and cantankerous your tendencies are. And chances are you have a beard...

Yes, I do have a beard... :rolleyes:

And am I really that cantankerous???

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Sobo,

I think you know the answer. Pretty hilarious; it is clearly stacked in favor of old cantankerous chickens who would rather talk about how hard they used to be. I really tried to be honest so I only gave myself a 4 for brass (ok, should have been a 2) and couldn't figure why more brass meant lower score. That kind of ruled out a perfect score. I can'l climb with the wife anymore though-I effed that up forever. You should have seen the scene with her demanding I throw her the rope and me yelling back, "It's only 3rd flocking-class! I don't care if there is 2000' of exposure!" That was a long and quiet ride home...

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Reilly, that's all fine and good, but what was your scorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre???

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Oh, sorry, I am ashamed to say 82. But I admitted to being all of the above: old, catankerous, brassless, etc. I did kind of fudge the last question about kicking back around the campfire peacefully. Kick back; yes. Peacefully? :noway:

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I am ashamed to say 82.

:lmao: classic!

 

...couldn't figure why more brass meant lower score.

Huh?

 

Question 5. Brass:

I sketch out and shake uncontrolably four feet above a bolt (1) Or I feel comfortable, off the couch, onsighting miles above above bad gear, on loose rock in the rain, or snow (10)...

looks like less brass = lower score, more brass = higher score to me. YMMV

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"looks like less brass = lower score, more brass = higher score to me. YMMV"

Yeah, but on most of the other catagories it seemed a lower score meant you were a hard man.

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Yeah, but on most of the other catagories it seemed a lower score meant you were a hard man.

Reilly, really? C'mon man. Let's analyze this test point by point...

 

Q1: Claiming the VW van ain't running to get outta driving speaks directly to DirtBagism. Ergo, a hard man.

Q2: Not afraid to fall way above gear => hard man.

Q3: Basically old skewl => hard man.

Q4: No chalk => hard man.

Q5: We dealt with this one already up thread. More brass = more hard man-ish.

Q6: Agree with you. This one would seem to indicate that a lower score is more hard man-ish.

Q7: Joined-at-the-hip partners = old skewl => hard man.

Q8: Obviously old skewl. Entrenched traditionalist => hard man.

Q9: Metrosexual send = old skewl => hard man (think Royal Robbins literature).

Q10: Obviously hard man.

 

So by this analysis, the preponderance of questions where one would answer with a higher score does indeed lead to being more likely to identify with being classified a traditionalist, old skewl, cantankerous, hard man. QED. :)

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I think we have a good example of it is all a matter of perspective.

 

Q1. One man's dirt bag is another man's loser. Or, I don't want to hurt the mooches' feelings so I'll tell 'em the beast is sick. 5 - too wishy-washy to go either way

Q2 To me it doesn't say you are not afraid to fall it says you are a pathetic loser used to falling so you just accept it. 9 - "Well, here we go agin. Hope it doesn't hurt as bad as last time."

Q3 You're too cheap and don't value your life, ergo, loser. 10-just plain cheap

Q4 What the hell is chalk? 5 - actually tried to be honest but am too afraid to let go and chalk up.

Q5 I was really confused by this because I am so used to shaking miles above bad gear on choss in the snow and just figured this was the way it is. 5 -again, just confused.

Q6 See, there I go trying to think again. I thought it was good to be supportive (low score); that is what my wife is always telling me! I can't help it if I'm used to saying "I'm untying so do whatever you want!" 9 - shoulda been 10 but I don't think I'm that big of an a hole.

Q7 Again, I figure good climbers have lots of partners. People like me are lucky to get one per decade. 9 - I've had 3 or 4 partners.

Q8 WTF is a rap bolt? Something they do in the hood? 10 - Didn't know there was any other way to do it.

Q9 Too easy - love the hike up to Camp Muir 10 - proud of it!

Q10 A few cold ones, hell, a few warm ones if it means being too hung over to go climbing tomorrow. 10 - WTF is a climbing "vid"?

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Oh, sorry, I am ashamed to say 82. But I admitted to being all of the above: old, catankerous, brassless, etc. I did kind of fudge the last question about kicking back around the campfire peacefully. Kick back; yes. Peacefully? :noway:

 

I hit somewhere in the eighty-something point range. The test definitely favors old trad folk.

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yeah, what she said.

 

I, particularly, identify with the ethic of "ground up" ascents of new lines...at least on the first try. No rehearsals to diminish the adventure. For me, it's about the wonder and excitement of discovering new features - foot by foot - and the ingenuity of pro. If it's too difficult or requires excessive gardening demanding aid, then I relent on an ffa. But, dammit, I'm gonna try to free the fucker the very first time.

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"IF YOU'RE OVER 30, YOU'RE JUST IN A SLOW DECOMPOSING STATE... "

 

Yeah, go tell that to Donini who has put up three new routes in Patagonia the last few weeks at the age of what, 63?

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