Buckaroo Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 PALIN TO DUMP McCAIN FROM GOP TICKET VINCENNES, Indiana - (PTSD News) - Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin announced today that she has asked top GOP officials to fire John McCain as the GOP presidential candidate. "He has served his country well," Palin told a cheering overflow crowd in this southwestern Indiana city, "but he is starting to drag down my numbers, so he'll have to go. To make sure he's gone," she said, "I'll offer one hundred and fifty dollars to the first person to shoot him and bring me his cut off right hand -- just kidding. I don't need to see the hand, a faxed picture will do." "If there is anyone who can get officials to fire someone she doesn't like, it's Sarah," said an unnamed Republican spokesperson. "This will be a good move for the GOP," said Charles L. Sonderheim of the Heritage Foundation, "Palin has been packing them in, while McCain can't fill a McDonalds." Rules state that if the front runner is removed before the election, the vice presidential nominee become the presidential candidate. "We all know that God has anointed her to be president," said Reverend Ed Kalnin, Palin's former preacher, "so why delay the process, just like we shouldn't delay Armageddon." "It'll be great opportunity to be your President," Palin told the Indiana crowd, "because while it has been fun to see Russia from my house, I just can't wait to see Russia from the cockpit of a plane as something nuclear is being dropped." There has been no word on who would be tapped as Palin's vice presidential running mate. "We need to emphasize Sarah's qualifications to be president by picking someone who is a little less qualified than her, but charming, of course," said a top GOP spokesperson, "However this may take some time, although we have a lead on a pig with lipstick in Waterloo, Iowa that is dying to get off the farm." 20 September 2008 Satire by R J Shulman Visit him on MySpace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 The GOP is apparently urging people to vote in a PBS poll to demonstrate wide support for the proposition that Sarah Palin is qualified to be a heart beat away from the Oval Office. The poll asks: Is Sarah Palin qualified to be VP? Yes or No. When last checked the ayes were leading. You do not have to give your name or email to vote. It's very simple; here's the link: You folks know what to do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 PALIN TO DUMP McCAIN FROM GOP TICKET VINCENNES, Indiana - (PTSD News) - Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin announced today that she has asked top GOP officials to fire John McCain as the GOP presidential candidate. "He has served his country well," Palin told a cheering overflow crowd in this southwestern Indiana city, "but he is starting to drag down my numbers, so he'll have to go. To make sure he's gone," she said, "I'll offer one hundred and fifty dollars to the first person to shoot him and bring me his cut off right hand -- just kidding. I don't need to see the hand, a faxed picture will do." "If there is anyone who can get officials to fire someone she doesn't like, it's Sarah," said an unnamed Republican spokesperson. "This will be a good move for the GOP," said Charles L. Sonderheim of the Heritage Foundation, "Palin has been packing them in, while McCain can't fill a McDonalds." Rules state that if the front runner is removed before the election, the vice presidential nominee become the presidential candidate. "We all know that God has anointed her to be president," said Reverend Ed Kalnin, Palin's former preacher, "so why delay the process, just like we shouldn't delay Armageddon." "It'll be great opportunity to be your President," Palin told the Indiana crowd, "because while it has been fun to see Russia from my house, I just can't wait to see Russia from the cockpit of a plane as something nuclear is being dropped." There has been no word on who would be tapped as Palin's vice presidential running mate. "We need to emphasize Sarah's qualifications to be president by picking someone who is a little less qualified than her, but charming, of course," said a top GOP spokesperson, "However this may take some time, although we have a lead on a pig with lipstick in Waterloo, Iowa that is dying to get off the farm." Thats funny. Last I heard was Palin is speaking last now. Too many people were walking out after she spoke that they had to move her to speak last. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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