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Finally. God Defined.


tvashtarkatena

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So your idea of fulfillment is getting compliments on your flower macro shots and spending countless hours on stupid Youtube videos....GOOD FOR YOU....but no need to be threatened by the possibility that there might be more to life that you are missing out on.

 

Were you sent here to reveal God's personal plan for me?

 

That would be a bit arrogant, but that said, I'd like to believe that the bitch-tittie chiding kicked off a little personal fitness epiphany on your part...you are looking slimmer....dare I take credit?

 

Believe whatever makes you happy. Given your religion, it seems that you're prone to it.

 

I've always been as svelt, smooth and bronzed as a gazelle. Italian super-underwear model material. Ask any of my climbing partners. My narcissism requires it.

 

The only affect on my personal life that some of you have had is to provide some great companionship, friendship, and of course copious subject material for my waste-of-life youtube presentations. You know who you are. I'm looking forward to another year digitally recording your strange behaviors.

 

I'd also like to thank my long suffering mother, late father, the first human to ever leave the African continent, Microsoft for a their really shitty but nonetheless free-with-Office movie making application, and Universal Music Group for approving my use of "Dude Looks Like a Lady" for non-commercial purposes.

 

 

 

 

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One may speculate on God's true temperment, but one can never know his plans.

 

For example, God may will that Obama be elected to fuck his devout followers. Then, to fuck the liberals, God may have Obama fuck up royally, which could lead to a fundamentalist kook to be elected next time, pleasing his followers, followed by nuclear or climate related annihilation caused by the kook, which would not.

 

This God already made America the most powerful country on earth, which has really fucked the world up for quite some time, so things are already on the right track.

 

There's really only one commandment in this new theosophy:

 

If you think God's on your side, you're gonna get fucked.

Edited by tvashtarkatena
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