tvashtarkatena Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 (edited) Trip: Garibaldi Ski Traverse - The Barrier to Elfin Ridge Date: 4/30/2008 Trip Report: Garibaldi Ski Traverse James near the summit of W. Castle “Why are you trying to make our jobs difficult?” “I apologize” That put the ‘Who’s the bigger asshole’ ball back in the U.S. border guard’s court. He would now either have to unilaterally escalate his assholishness, or back down and let me in the country without proof of citizenship…which he had in front of him after 5 seconds of typing ‘asshole who forgot his passport’ into his Big Brother monitor. It was 3 minutes to 11:00, and his shift replacement was already milling around the booth. “Welcome back to the United States.” Note to self: Next time I need to smuggle a vanload of underage Thai sex slaves packing Javanese rhino adrenal glands in various undisclosed locations, I’ll hit the border at exactly 5 minutes to 11:00 pm on a Friday night. Wait. This report isn’t about a once mighty nation that kicked ass in two world wars simultaneously with shitty tanks and even shittier uniforms, now cowed by a tentful of disco-loving A-rabs into blowing our national wad on something as fascist-sans-trains-running-on-time as the Department of Homeland Security. It isn’t about idiots that forgot their passports even though United States federal law has required proof of citizenship to gain entry since July of 2007. It’s about Canada. It’s about a mountain range twice the size of California that doesn’t realize that the Pleistocene is over. It’s about uncountable glacial rolloffs of perfect ankle deep powder on a firm base as pure and white and virginal as an evangelical teenage bride’s quivering rump, waiting to be carved like Butterball turkeys into endlessly repeating Tibetan symbols of Universal Oneness. It’s about getting off your ass, remembering to grab your passport, and going up there and getting some. Specifically, it’s about our brief stay in the Sphinx Hut in Garibaldi Provincial Park, and final day’s traverse out via the Elfin Hut, made possible by a point to point pick up from our comrade Jason, who unfortunately contracted a virus that transformed him into a human fertilizer spreader mid-trip and had to retreat to a Squamish hotel room for recuperation. “Bringing anything back from Canada?” “Other than a population destroying virus, no sir.” Namaste, mofos Sunset over Garibaldi Lake James approaching the E. Castle summit block The author just beneath the E. Castle summit block. Close, but no cigar. Garibaldi from Castle Sastrugi (Sphinx Glacier) E. and W. Castle from the south Monster cornice near the summit of The Sphinx Sisyphus Leaving the Sphinx Hut The Glaciology Hut, near Garibaldi Lake James on the first ascent of the Garibaldi traverse Crevasses on Garibaldi’s E slopes Looking west from Elfin Ridge near the end of the traverse Edited April 30, 2008 by tvashtarkatena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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