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The EZ way to write .....

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I tried out this versitile auto letter generator




It will decidedly surprise some people to hear me say this, but just thinking about America's perverted "compromises" is giving me a two-Tylenol headache. Let me begin by citing a range of examples from the public sphere. For starters, America's eccentricity is surpassed only by its vanity and its vanity is surpassed only by its empty theorizing. (Remember its theory that immoralism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us?) If I didn't think America would undermine everyone's capacity to see, or change, the world as a whole, I wouldn't say that its demands are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, America's reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth but only ornery answers, yellow-bellied resolutions to conflicts.


Still, America says it's going to introduce absurd, baseless, terror-ridden lawsuits intended to destroy the lives of countless innocent people in a lustrum or two. Is it out of its mischievous mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that it likes forcing me to sell my soul to the devil. That's the most damnable thing about it. It's also why America uses pharisaism to empty garbage pails full of the vilest slanders and defamations on the clean garments of honorable people. That's the large elephant in the room that nobody ever talks about. Nevertheless, I contend that people really ought to start talking about it because then they'd realize that I cannot compromise with America; it is without principles. I cannot reason with it; it is without reason. But I can warn it and with a warning it must indubitably take to heart: I intend to look closely at America's opuscula to see what makes them so effectual at challenging all I stand for. I should expect to find -- this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify -- that America's op-ed pieces are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're utterly foolhardy, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, America's pleas are related to the elements and bases of neocolonialism both organizationally and ideologically. The facts are indisputable, the arguments are impeccable, and the consequences are undeniable. So why does America warrant that it is a model organization? I've excogitated one theory that almost completely answers that question. Unfortunately, it fails to take into account that this is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about America's adversarial behavior but about the way that we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we have to act as a positive role model for younger people.


We must worry about two kinds of pea-brained spielers: uppity and benighted. America is among the former. I pause to note that as soon as America found the resources to do so it lost no time in breaking down our communities. The inevitable followed: Disagreeable egotists (especially the cocky type) started to pigeonhole people into predetermined categories. The scariest part of all of this is that I've never bothered America. Yet America wants to make us the helpless puppets of our demographic labels. Whatever happened to "live and let live"?


It may seem at first that you and I have a lot more class than America. When we descend to details, however, we see that its few successes exhibit no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity. Now that's a rather crude and simplistic statement and, in many cases, it may not even be literally true. But there is a sense in which it is generally true, a sense in which it truly expresses how plaguing our minds is a hallmark of a totalitarian regime. End of story. Actually, I should add that I admit I have a tendency to become a bit insensitive whenever I rebuke it for trying to use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to plague our minds. While I am desirous of mending this tiny personality flaw, whenever America announces that it does the things it does "for the children", its bedfellows applaud on cue and the accolades are long and ostentatious. What's funny is that they don't provide similar feedback whenever I tell them that America loves getting up in front of people and telling them that children should get into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy at them. It then boasts about how it'll lay down diktats that force me to put myself in harm's way by next weekend. It's all part of the media spectacle that is America. Of course, it soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, every so often you'll see America lament, flog itself, cry mea culpa for stirring up trouble, and vow never again to be so headlong. Sadly, it always reverts to its old behavior immediately afterwards, making me think that it has repeatedly threatened to focus too much on one side of the equation and not enough on the broader perspective of things. Maybe that's just for maximum scaremongering effect. Or maybe it's because America says that the few of us who complain regularly about its antics are simply spoiling the party. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life.


Sure, we could just sit back and let America violate the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship, but that prospect really grates on people who have any kind of common sense. If I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to embrace the cause of self-determination and recognize the leading role and clearer understanding of those people for whom the quintessential struggle is an encompassing liberation movement against the totality of irreligionism. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that I respect the English language and believe in the use of words as a means of communication. Foul underachievers like America, however, consider spoken communication as merely a set of noises uttered to excite emotions in superstitious adolescents in order to convince them to threaten our core values, allegiances, and beliefs. While this letter hasn't provided anything in the way of a concrete plan of action, it may help us focus our thinking a little better when we do work out a plan. For now, we must address the real issues faced by mankind. I will unmistakably be happy to have your help in this endeavor.

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It's perfect!


Check it in action: Link


I currently have letters on all the top spray thread. Took about as long as it takes to wipe my ass. Awesome stuff!

Edited by billcoe

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I recently had the fortunate experience of being enlightened (or educated) as to what evil Tvash is currently conspiring to unleash upon the world. I would now like to share that experience with you. The rest of this letter is focused exclusively on Tvash, not because I harbor any ill-will towards him but because even his supporters are afraid that he will force us to tailor our declamations just to suit his homicidal whims before you know it. I myself have seen their fear manifested over and over again and it is further evidence that Tvash's claim that his squibs are all sweetness and light is not only an attack on the concept of objectivity but an assault on the human mind. As a consistently mortified observer of his statements, I can't help but want to recall the ideals of compassion, nonviolence, community, and cooperation. As a general rule, if Tvash were as bright as he thinks he is, he'd know that he is a gormless practitioner of unilateralism. I use that label only when it's true. If you don't believe it is, then consider that we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with Tvash. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that sectarianism is dangerous. Tvash's immature version of it is doubly so.


Tvash can go on saying that clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking but the rest of us have serious problems to deal with that preclude our indulging in such oppressive dreams just now. How can he live with himself, knowing that he talks out of both sides of his mouth? I don't pretend to know the answer but I do know that his writings represent a backward step of hundreds of years, a backward step into a chasm with no bottom save the endless darkness of death. Woe to the infernal rabble-rousers who make people suspicious of those who speak the truth!


Tvash's asseverations serve as a stepping stone to world government. And who will compose that world government? A ruling class consisting of xenophobic, smarmy jerks and intolerant saboteurs. Tvash has written volumes about how the best way to make a point is with foaming-at-the-mouth rhetoric and letters filled primarily with exclamation points. Don't believe a word of it, though. The truth is that he maintains that our unalienable rights are merely privileges that he can dole out or retract. That's not just a lie but is actually the exact opposite of the truth -- and Tvash knows it. Why is Tvash deliberately turning the truth on its head like that? The answer may surprise you, especially when you consider that I am weary of listening to Tvash descant on the glories of Marxism. But that's not all: He insists that he is a refined gentleman with the soundest education and morals you can imagine. How can he be so blind? Very easily. Basically, Tvash believes that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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It's the Polish Bob generator!


I have a few points of contention with Cocksucker Fucking Clownpuncher, Jr.. The full truth of my conclusion I shall develop in the course of this letter but the conclusion's general outline is that we must certainly challenge the soft bigotry of low expectations. Does that sound extremist? Is it too disreputable for you? I'm sorry if it seems that way but that's life. He can't possibly believe that everyone with a different set of beliefs from his is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. He's atrabilious but he's not that atrabilious.


Cocksucker has conceived the project of reigning over opinions and of conquering neither kingdoms nor provinces but the human mind. If this project succeeds then distasteful losers will be free to leave a generation of people planted in the mud of a balmy world to begin a new life in the shadows of particularism. Even worse, it will be illegal for anyone to say anything about how if you think that Cocksucker's adages can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality then you're suffering from very serious nearsightedness. You're focusing too much on what Cocksucker wants you to see and failing to observe many other things of much greater importance such as that it may seem difficult at first to solve the problems that are important to most people. It is. But there's something I've observed about him. Namely, he may not know how to spell "anatomicochirurgical" but he definitely knows how to inject even more fear and divisiveness into political campaigns. I've further observed that Cocksucker uses terrorism to evoke a misdirected response to genuine unresolved grievances. That's the large elephant in the room that nobody ever talks about. Nevertheless, I unequivocally claim that people really ought to start talking about it because then they'd realize that Cocksucker finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, that fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence.


Cocksucker's backers would sooner ally with evil than oppose it. In that context, one could say that the first response to this from Cocksucker's pals is perhaps that Cocksucker's way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't. Wrong. Just glance at the facts: Anyone who hasn't been living in a cave with his eyes shut and his ears plugged knows that Cocksucker's words have merged with imperialism in several interesting ways. Both spring from the same kind of reality-denying mentality. Both subject human beings to indignities. And both concentrate all the wealth of the world into his own hands. I conclude this letter with an appropriate quote: "It would be more productive for Cocksucker Fucking Clownpuncher, Jr. to take a more diplomatic and conciliatory approach." I believe we all know who said that, don't we?

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