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Attitudes and Platitudes


willstrickland

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Different training methodologies must be utilized in order to achieve maximum performance. I find a program incorporating elements of strength, aerobic exercise, and flexibility result in a higher level of climbing ability. While I am not a doctor or physical therapist, athletes of all calibers often duplicate my techniques.

Strength training begins with carrying the equipment from the car to the “training area.” Beginners, or those with kidney infections, should begin with a sixer in each hand, eventually working their way up to a half rack in a few weeks time. Eventually, multiple cases can be carried. Aerobic exercise is performed by pounding beers WHILE STANDING. This is no place for the average couch potato as drinking continuously deprives the body of essential oxygen and studies show burping burns more calories than 45 minutes on the Stairmaster. Flexibility can be improved by drinking a light beer, which, through a process similar to osmosis, lubricates tendons thus enhancing flexibility. Please consult your doctor before beginning any training program.

 

 

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"Some say the world will end in fire,

some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire,

I hold with those who favor fire-

But if it had to perish twice,

I know that for destruction ice

is also great, and

would suffice." R. Frost

seriously,

what I'll focus on as a mantra while training is,

CITUS ALTUS FORTIS- fast high and strong

And as for training, I'd reccommend just hammering out a commute to work on your bike.

Foul weather, oh baby, bring it on!

[This message has been edited by Beck (edited 07-12-2001).]

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The stupid quotes that go through your head when you are climbing?

I used to have Blood Sweat & Tears' version of "Spinning Wheel" going through mry head every time i went to leavenworth. Then i got the Shirley Bassey remix Cd with the bonus beats version of her cover of the same tune. Much better!!!!! grin.gif

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"You're clear

As a heavy lead curtain

Want to drill you

Now I'm running out

Yeah I'm running out

Runin' out, don't be mad about it baby"

-BAD RELIGION

"Solo, I'm a soloist on a solo list, all live, never on a floppy disc"

-RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

[This message has been edited by Dru (edited 07-12-2001).]

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I used to hang out with a bunch of bodybuilders. Now those were some seriously motivated dudes. But that wasn't about fun, it was an odd form of sadomasochism. In fact one of 'em once said, w/ perfect honesty "I'd eat dog shit if I thought it would make me bigger." That was the mentality these guys had. Anything to get bigger. I just can't take climbing that seriously. I'm w/ Dru, an organized exercise routine isn't for me. I go for short walks on lunch break, ride the bike around a couple times during the week, and try to go climbing or hiking every weekend. I'm not in marvelous shape, but I get around okay. I used to hit the weights, but haven't for about 3 years. It hasn't hurt my climbing as far as I can tell. Except for my knees have been getting really sore on steep descents lately, maybe bulking up my quads again would help w/ that. But I'm just not up for doing squats again. Now that was some seriously hard work, 3 sets of 10 w/ 405, by the end it felt like my eyes were going to pop out and I had this headache in the middle of my noggin'. That couldn't have been good for my overall health. Whoops, sorry, now I'm aimlessly rambling.

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Post was orginally about the plattitudes (that's truisms, or trite/hackneyed/ commonplace remarks for the vocabularlily challenged out there). So yeah, they do sound like some stupid damn No Fear slogans.

BTW, somehow No Fear lost it's target audience of "extreme sports people" and ended up with a bunch of yokel patrons. This led some enterprising chaps in the south to develop a "copy" of the No Fear logos/decals that were the redneck No Fear...it was called "Ain't Skeerd" I wish I was making this up!

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So my training routine yesterday consisted of:

Sitting in traffic for a 30 minute 1/4 mile. Going mountain biking and locking my keys in the truck as soon as I got to the area. Spare key was...in the truck of course! Breaking the lock off my slider rear window with a screwdriver. Crashing over the handlebars three times into briars once, horseshit once, and with my Teva-covered foot in the forks once. Driving home to find out someone wants to look at my truck (it's for sale) today..so I get to fix the window and wash/clean it on lunch today woo hoo!

Now that's training my friends. The general stress of alpine climbing sohuld be pretty tame in comparison. Next time I'm staring down the gullet of a storm I'll just think..man this ain't shit, why one time...

 

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