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wayne

Epics!

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I am looking to build a great page on bizarre epics. Post them here or send a link, and let me know if I can put them on the page. Here is the work in progress link I have so far. link

Not much yet but With help, It could get very interesting, Thanks , Wayne

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get layton to narrate our last trip to index 2gether - 2 a.m. in a homeless squatter's camp attempting to barter a bunch of bad beer for a cell phone, harrased by an obdurate equine, armed only w/ a bread-knife stolen from some bavarian whore-house a few hours earlier - now that ePiC!

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a bavarian whore house near index? where?

actually i armed meself in seattle, home of the sausuage house - we did a lot of driving that night, mostly along every side and side of a side-road in the index vicinity :)

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you could use my trip on Prusik last summer (broken ankle, summit, and a hike out). its not way cool like the ones on your site but you could use it if you want to.

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A couple come to mind. More funny really than epics.

 

How about gpoing into Snow creek wall with no permit. The lovely young ranger pops out of the bush and asks for our permit. We play dumb. Then my partner asks in a dead pan voice, "anyone know where you're at"? She had a working radio and didn't appreciate his humor. Things didn't get better from there.

 

A quick jog over Asgard into Prusik and up the S Face with my "then" wife. No water or food but two beers, a dead head lamp on the walk out later that day and a car bivy. That trip pretty much sealed the fate of the relationship.

 

Or.....a 150' fall off the slab pitch on Liberty crack. Held on a body belay it made a nice one day climb into a painful and looooonnnng 2 day climb.

 

Or climbing a hard alpine 5.10 crack under a big roof that would go to the summit. Belayer begins to beg me to come down while being ignored. When I finally got to a tiny rest and looked down she was covered in 10" of snow. The rap off and walk out was a cold bitch.

 

Leading Carlsberg when I popped a 100# dinner plate. I couldn't brush it away and was knocked out cold and split my face open. I awoke to the pillar turning crimson and my partner yelling at me from 80' below. I was held on only by my limp wrists in the tools leashes. Aftewr getting a screw in and rapping it took 16 stitches to put my lip back together.

 

Or a quick new route on a alpine rock climb in July. Thunder heads roll in and we expect rain going out. Instead it becomes a foot of new snow, a head wind and several miles of nasty granite boulder fields to make it back over the ridge. Lwt shirts and cotton pants. The biggest worry wasn't dying...but my frozen and numb crotch walking into the wind. Now that one really was epic :)

 

There are more but have to agree until you loose digits or parts it isn't really a climbing epic.

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on the T-F traverse a few years ago. We hiked into Boston Basin in pouring rain, expecting a clearing that afternoon. we then ditched bivy gear in the basin, planning on just doing it in a day. climb Torment and the sun comes out. Partner pulls off a large block on the ridge traverse near the prominent spire in the middle, resulting in a ~15' fall and a gash down to the bone just below his knee. A long series of 25M raps off single piece anchors took us down to the glacier. Hiked out with a nearly dead headlamp, in the rain again. Drove to Sedro-Wolley and he got 14 stitches. I drove home, nearly falling asleep a few times in the 20 miles back to bellingham, getting back 26 hours after leaving.

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hey, that sounds almost like MY T-F traverse!

 

what a piece of shit ridge before forbidden...

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I had a similar dealeo on T-F traverse. Unroped on torment, hit by a rock in the ankle, nearly thrown off. Hit by a second rock in the chest.

 

Stumbled down into the taboo just before dark, bivvied under some boulders. Longest hike out EVAR -- my eyes were watering. Some nice hiker offered me some oxycodone on the way out....

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I had promised my sister to take her BF on a easy climbing trip. Conditions were great on the drive up, then we hiked a few miles and set up basecamp. Unfortunately we were so buzzed from the 12 hr drive/party that we had neglected to pick up supplies (actually we did get a bag of candy bars at a gas stop). Next morning we hiked out early, then drove back to the nearest store, leaving all the gear at camp. Returning later on the access road found heavy snowfall eventually stopping the car 3 miles from the TH, so we starting hiking back with two grocery bags of supplies and a replacement bag of candy bars. Slowed by drifts and "Brother Dan", we arrived back at the TH at dusk, just as the storm was really picking up. Dan says "I can't feel my feet" and I only then notice he's wearing construction boots and corduroy pants (and cotton sweat pants) which are all frozen stiff. No way we would make the ridge walk back to camp like this, so we piled into the back of an old datsun pickup w/ a little topper over the bed. OK, yeah, this sucks but things could be way worse. Dan continues complaining about his feet for a while. Finally I suggested he take off his boots and socks and put his feet under my jacket. The wind is howling, the little truck is rocking with the gusts, and it's gotta be in the low 20's. For sure my little sister would kill me if I let anything bad happen to her BF. As Dan removed his frozen leathers it immediately became all too obvious that he suffered from some sort of rare mutant foot fungus, and consequently an odor most foul emanated from under my parka all night long while Dan and I sat and shivered and smoked and ate snickers until sunrise. Maybe he couldn't help it, maybe it was some rare genetic disorder or possibly he had picked up some tropical affliction not of his own accord, and I know it sounds awful to say this, but Dan, I STILL hate you.

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Great stories! I will use some of them.

 

Wayne, I want to hear about the "fall on Wind Mountain."

 

Check back late next week, I will do that one next. Its a good onef er sure

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nice - i remember you telling me that story 'roudn the time i first met you - met a guy recently who had a big epic on the same wind mtn, though for him it involved a choice between a suicide cliff and crawling through an endlessly huge thicket of poison oak - apparently his entire body was melting off him 2 days later and he had to be hospitalized - pity, it looks like such a fine place...

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btw, I know a guy who ran into someone who sounds a lot like your simmons -- near the PCT

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Very possible. He had done the Appalachian Trail and gone across the country a few times. Empty looking black eyes with no visible whites to them. Deep set eyes too. His clothes were ready to fall off him. He had a blanket stuffed with very little in it over his shoulder.

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A few friends and I went in to climb Buck peak via King lake late in the season. We ended up 'shwacking through devils club into a large ground bee nest. My friend Brian and I booked it up hill, the whole while Brian was getting stung. Once we were a safe distance away Brian checked out his damage. He was stung over 10 times, and was also hyper sensitive to bee stings when he was younger. I somehow made it out with no stings whatsoever. We made it out ok, but everyone else suffered some sting other than myself.

 

Another time I went up late at night with my brother and a friend to the Mt. Baker ski area to get on the ice and just play around. My brother brought the tent body, but forgot the polls. So one person slept in the car (small Honda) while the myself and my friend Zach tied the tent body to the car and made a lean-to. Around 2 in the morning a snow plow comes barreling through and almost runs us over. The snow plow takes out part of the tent and leaves us buried under a foot of snow. That piece of shit snowplow driver was probably laughing his ass off.

 

 

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...Around 2 in the morning a snow plow comes barreling through and almost runs us over. The snow plow takes out part of the tent and leaves us buried under a foot of snow. That piece of shit snowplow driver was probably laughing his ass off.

Same thing happened to me at the same place. I'll lay even money it was the same MOFO. :laf:

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