lizard_brain Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 This question came up on a running forum I was on recently, but was nixed by the uptight mods. But I thought it was valid and intriguing. The mods were okay with the topic of farting until the subject of Our Savior came up along with it (I think someone said "Oh, Holy Jesus", and it went from there), and some PC tightass (no pun intended) got offended. The world wants to know. Did Jesus fart? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denalidave Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Of course, especially after the beans or cherries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirwoofalot Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 There are two ways to look at this important theological issue; either from a religious, or from a secular point of view. First of all we need to establish that fact that Jesus was a person who really did walk the earth. I am not going to go into details about this. Instead I am going to assume Jesus was a real person. Now, from a religious point of view; Judaism, Islam, and Christianity all agree that Jesus did exist and walked the earth. Judaism, and Islam look at Jesus as a prophet of God; a human who walked on the earth. So let’s look at this from a Christian point of view. God and humans are separated by human’s sin. God needed to reconcile this separation. God could not bring humans into his realm as God is perfect and with out fault. So God needed to come into the human realm. That is God needed to become human in order to reconcile humans to God. God was manifested as a human in the form of Jesus. So, following our logic class from collage, Philosophy 120, we can make the reasonable argument. All humans fart. Jesus was a human. Therefore Jesus farted. So from a secular point of view; either Jesus existed or Jesus did not exist. If we assume the point of view that Jesus actually did exist then we can assume that he did actually fart. (Please note the above argument) At this point please allow me to digress. Based on the argument; all humans fart, Jesus was a human, therefore Jesus farted, the only way we can assume that Jesus did not fart is if he were not human. But even then it is a logical fallacy. All humans fart, Jesus was not a human, therefore Jesus did not farted. So allow me to make the provisional assumption that Jesus was God, and only God and never human. Then we can make the logical argument that God does not fart. Jesus is God. Therefore Jesus did not fart. Now, if we assume that Jesus never did exist then we can not assume he was only a god, and therefore must assume that he was a fictitious human. Therefore he must have had a fictitious fart. And from the smell of this post I would guess that is the best possible result. I hope I have shed some fresh air on this ponderous subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bstach Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 If Jesus farted, I bet he tried to blame it on Peter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 God also farts. His last one we called Pinatubo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaskadskyjKozak Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 This question came up on a running forum I was on recently, but was nixed by the uptight mods. But I thought it was valid and intriguing. The mods were okay with the topic of farting until the subject of Our Savior came up along with it (I think someone said "Oh, Holy Jesus", and it went from there), and some PC tightass (no pun intended) got offended. The world wants to know. Did Jesus fart? farts precede shit, and you exist. there's your proof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 This question came up on a running forum I was on recently, but was nixed by the uptight mods. But I thought it was valid and intriguing. The mods were okay with the topic of farting until the subject of Our Savior came up along with it (I think someone said "Oh, Holy Jesus", and it went from there), and some PC tightass (no pun intended) got offended. The world wants to know. Did Jesus fart? farts precede shit, and you exist. there's your proof. I'm confused. Are you saying that Lizard_Brain was, in fact, shat from Jesus? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No. 13 Baby Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Dunno if he farts, but he definitely walks. dEzLvnXtqMc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Nay, he struts! fN1dPtEph2U Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No. 13 Baby Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Hell yeah, of course Jesus is omnigaited! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Did Adam have a bellybutton? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirwoofalot Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Hell yeah, of course Jesus is omnigaited! sorry, but I can not find omnigaited at dictionary.com. whatsit mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No. 13 Baby Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 omni = all gait = walking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denalidave Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I think the bigger question is not whether Jesus farted, of course He did. The real question should be if they stunk. Man, these threads are reaching new lows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bug Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I think the bigger question is not whether Jesus farted, of course He did. The real question should be if they stunk. .............. Well we can deduce that since my farts don't stink and I am not god, then Jesus' farts must not have stank either. We can conversly deduce that since you can smell Feck's farts from Florida, Satan's farts do stink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
korup Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 yes, but only after Mary Magdeline tossed his salad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizard_brain Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 farts precede shit, and you exist. there's your proof. I'm confused. Are you saying that Lizard_Brain was, in fact, shat from Jesus? Does that mean I'm Holy Shit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Conway Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Does that mean I'm Holy Shit? you are the worlds only see through turd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheamclimber Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 If Jesus farted, I bet he tried to blame it on Peter. and I bet Peter denied it three times Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 If Jesus farted, I bet he tried to blame it on Peter. and I bet Peter denied it three times... ...before the CheamClimber crowed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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