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Ice tool holds fer sale

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Dry Ice Cubes by Woodys Holds



Recently released secret tape from a large white house that sits on a street named after a state:


Gonzo: Hey Shrub, I quit.

Shrub: Whatcha gonna do, Gonzo?

Gonzo: I’m gonna try ice climbing. I just got some new ice holds from Woodys Holds. Look, a hole …

Shrub: Watch yur tongue, Gonzo.

Gonzo: No, no, look. There is a reinforced place to put the axe tip. A hole …

Shrub: I’m warnin’ you, Gonzo.

Gonzo: They have a lifetime guarantee, made from recycled stuff and a hole …

Shrub: If you call me ah a hole one more time I’m gonna do somethin’.

Gonzo: Sir, I am not calling you names. I’m showing you a hole …

Shurb: That’s it, Gonzo! I’m callin’ INS and havin’ you de-ported.

Gonzo: You can’t have me deported. I’m an american citizen!

Shrub: Yes I can, I can do anythin’ I want to. My daddy said so!

Gonzo: If you deport me, I’ll just sneak back across the border.

Shrub: Not if I build that special 2000 mile wall, that will keep you out.

Gonzo: Not really, I ordered more than one set, a hole …


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Woodys Holds - Box of Rx


Erectile Disfunction, or ED. It describes your grandfather who chases your grandmother around the house in a bathrobe without shorts on. They invented a little blue pill for him. What does this have to do with rock climbing? Some climbers have ED and cannot get their ‘woody’ up! A select few can only get figure out how to get a half a ‘woody’or even attempt a lame ‘woody’! We have your solution – A fresh prescription of Screw-On holds from Woodys Holds in 4 flavors, Pockets, Jibs, Crimps and Edges. You know how to screw, right? With this set, any climber can have a solid ‘woody’. Choose your wall, screw on the 50 holds with the included screws and you will no longer have to suffer. We’ll even send them in a non-descript box with recycled packaging and you can tell your friends anything you want about what you bought, they don’t have to know. Now, if you want to let your friends on your ‘woody’, that is your business – We have a strict “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy.


You think that was funny check this out!!


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