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Choada_Boy

A Terrible Loss to the Climbing Community

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It has come to my attention that an important member of the climbing community is no longer with us.

 

The General 2000 is dead.

 

I was told that he was brought to a "Truck Farm" were he could be with other trucks. They can play together and stuff, and he'd be a lot happier than he was getting parallel parked in Portland or getting backed into a gas pump...again.

 

I asked when I could go to the Truck Farm to see him and I guess we can go next month, if there's time, but I think that's a bunch of BULLSHIT. He's DEAD.

 

I'll miss the big fella. The stench. The fumes. The dashboard covered in dry coffee. The broken gas gauge and odometer. The nasty-ass fucking disgusting seat covers. The total lack of visibility through any window and the fond memories of driving blind at high speed at night in numerous blizzards, waiting to die a painful death. The time I got shoved behind the seats for the drive from Cody to Billings with the 3mm cord keeping the 2 rear windows tie closed together cutting into my neck. Escaping Wamsutter before nightful, when the streaming legions of wreak-mouthed subterranean hell spawn abominations join their "Day Walker" brethren to gibber at the moon and lay waste to the land. Good times.

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NNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

 

El Generale is NOT dead. He CAN'T die! I'm sure he just needs one more smallish repair?!?!?

 

Will never forget driving back along the Faser Canyon at midnight and having the hubs lock at random moments and the truck jerking five feet left into oncoming traffic . . .

 

The broken e-brake cord than hung below the truck like some distended, pregnant cat . . .

 

The three feet of play in the steering . . .

 

The canopy door that would smack you on the back of the head if you didn't prop it up with a trekking pole . . .

 

Having to use both arms to turn the thing at low speed cause who needs to replace the power steering pump?

 

They don't make em like that anymore!!

 

 

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Escaping Wamsutter before nightful, when the streaming legions of wreak-mouthed subterranean hell spawn abominations join their "Day Walker" brethren to gibber at the moon and lay waste to the land. Good times.

 

I'm surprised at the mention of "Wamsutter".

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i'm honored to think that i might have been the last passenger

 

i liked how at low speeds the unmuffled chugging of the engine reminded me of going deep-sea fishing w/ my grandpa in his big ass boat

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I miss riding in the backseat and my neck being clotheslined by the string holding the window shut. Like a little reminder that the general loved me back. & stickers. LOTS of stickers. And late nights slleping in the back and watching 'Jesus the Vampire Killer"

General, you are missed.

Your pal, Kat.

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Now I know why I have never tried to add an image to my post before! I'll try again later, unless somebody wants to fix it for me.

 

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Now I know why I have never tried to add an image to my post before! I'll try again later, unless somebody wants to fix it for me.

pic function alwasy seems to be fawked!

 

someone get a shot of the general up here - or do we need a still frame from x-men?

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That photo is awesome. Someone needs to send that to Alpinist or something.

 

 

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i did not know this general, but i can see how much he has impacted all of you. this is indeed a tragic loss :( i am deeply saddened by this and wish you all peace in your hearts.

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Well I took the General (previously the revamped GENERAL 2000)to a farm, so it could drive around in the pasture with the other trucks.

 

For those who knew it well, lets take a moment to reflet on it's glorious 350,000 miles of rootin' tootin' offroading life.

 

Born in 1989 in a factory in Detroit, the General spent it's younger years driving the backroads and valleys of Leadville, Colorado. The property of a skilled mechanic, the General was kept in pristine condition, until it's adult life (150,000 miles) when it was sold to a pluck young man. Neither knew that this new relationship would take the young man to remote backroad locations and grand mountain vistas, and would take the General from a life of obscurity to a life of corporate whoring and domestic roadside violence.

 

The young man would subjugate the General and brand it with corporate flare, then abuse it beyond it's clearance specification in backass Canada. It would be fored to commit murder, multiple roadside slaying of deer, mice, and insect genocide. The General has a brief moment of world-wide fame, appearing briefly in the movie "X-men," but recieving no credit or public recognition for it's role in that movie. The General would suffer further loss and cosmetic reconstruction as it lost 2 canopies on the same stretch of road, near Slesse Mtn.

 

Now, with a full engine a week oil-leak, no parking brake, no power steering, a cracked windshield, broken stereo, no driver side window rolling wheel, broken side window locks, bent front axel, destroyed upholstery, a family of mice in the engine somewhre, torn passenger side seatbelt, and a broken gas guage, the General 2000 Lives On in our hearts and memories...replaced by a reasonabley priced and sensible Toyota Camry.

 

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OK.

 

Now we just need some speculation and some "I hope we can all learn ____ from this" type stuff.

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