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ivan

the highlight of my day

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i wasn't implying that...I was saying that i don't care about "little johnny" embarrassing me, what i care about is "little johnny" himself...i don't want my kids hurt or harmed if i can help it...

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for those that aren't parents yet, the thing i didn't understand as a kid was this: it wasn't that my parents were mean, uptight, stupid. i wasn't in trouble b/c i had broken the rules, been disrespectful, or rude. i was in trouble b/c they wanted me to be safe and happy. that's it. right or wrong, their rules were put in place for that reason...safe and happy...nothing more complicated or nefarious.

 

There is another area of concern for parents. Depending on the parents, it's a factor of anywhere from 1% to 99%, but it's their concerns for their own embarassment when their kid does something fucked-up. The more a parent defends their child on the basis of "Johnny/Suzy would never do something like that", the more this factor appears to be present...unless, they're simply clueless dumbfucks.

 

This is complete bullshit and potential embarrassment never factors into my interactions with my kids...if that was the case this stupid site would be my undoing more times than not...

 

are you a parent???? I think not, but i may be wrong...

 

I've raised four of 'em.

 

I think you're in for some surprises.

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...kid is an adult....

 

isn't "kid" by definition not an adult?? :confused:

In my opinion, there is a couple of years that you are both. I remember being pissed that I had to pay for an adult movie ticket yet not be allowed to watch an adult (R rated) movie. I think we can all remember back to those difficult years when we were both children and adults at the same time.

yes, you may have thought you were an "adult" but you weren't...looking back, i'm very lucky to be here...I was hardly an "adult"...

I was out of the house and supporting myself, with no contact from my family whatsoever, at the age of 16. Does that qualify me as an adult in your opinion? Sometimes, in my 30's, I find myself doing stupid shit like taking pics of my friends and I engaging in illegal activities and storing them on my iPod. Does that qualify me as a kid in your opinion?

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I've never been a parent, but I have witnessed kids doing fucked up shit and then their parents denying that little johnny would do anything bad.

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...kid is an adult....

 

isn't "kid" by definition not an adult?? :confused:

In my opinion, there is a couple of years that you are both. I remember being pissed that I had to pay for an adult movie ticket yet not be allowed to watch an adult (R rated) movie. I think we can all remember back to those difficult years when we were both children and adults at the same time.

yes, you may have thought you were an "adult" but you weren't...looking back, i'm very lucky to be here...I was hardly an "adult"...

I was out of the house and supporting myself, with no contact from my family whatsoever, at the age of 16. Does that qualify me as an adult in your opinion? Sometimes, in my 30's, I find myself doing stupid shit like taking pics of my friends and I engaging in illegal activities and storing them on my iPod. Does that qualify me as a kid in your opinion?

sounds like maybe your parents were'NT totally invested in looking out for you...apples and oranges...

Edited by RuMR

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i'm saying that i'm an apple and your folks were an orange...

 

i don't know the circumstances of why you left, but the fact that your parents were no longer involved in your life (either by your choice or theirs) is indicative of some "maybe-not-so-great" parenting on their part...

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i'm saying that i'm an apple and your folks were an orange...

 

i don't know the circumstances of why you left, but the fact that your parents were no longer involved in your life (either by your choice or theirs) is indicative of some "maybe-not-so-great" parenting on their part...

Funny that you assume that I left.

Not all parents are like the folks on this board.

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you leaving could be their choice or yours...

 

your exact term was "out of the house"...this can only imply that you left their house...

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ohhhh...i just wen't back and found MY mistake...i didn't mean to say that they WERE invested...quite the opposite...

 

i edited my OP...

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No biggie.

But I would argue that "out of the house" does not assign the responsibility for who intiated the move to one party or another. That is why I use that phrase.

 

Of course, I argue any old point just for the fun of it.

 

Wanna ride bikes?

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all of my kids were "out of the house" before they were eighteen. Two when they were sixteen.

 

They wanted to get out of the sticks and into town. They were all... I hate to use the word "mature", but... they had all shown atypical smart judgment for their age, self-starters, had jobs at early ages. One of 'em graduated valedictorian with a two-year degree from the Junior College at eighteen.

 

I know they're uncommonly smart because they think ahm da shizz

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more likely because your postman had an extremely high IQ...
:lmao:

And was probably a good shot too, if you know what I mean.

wink wink nudge nudge

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A friend, who must be somewhere around 50yo now, recently told me that the thing he regrets most in life is not quitting high school to begin his lifelong journey as a itinerant climber a couple of years earlier than he did.

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more likely because your postman had an extremely high IQ...

:laf:

 

Yeah, he and my ex were a fertile pair. The reason we had four kids is because we didn't want five.

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there are alot of good points all over the place in this thred. the first time you catch your kid smoking pot you probably don't have to toss them into the dungen and throw away the key. however, i do think it is a parents obligation to be nosey, to snoop and to pay close attention. I had a pretty serious drug problem by the time i was 15. I also got decent grade and went to school most of the time and held down a job. by the time it was time for me to go to college i was to messed up to bother. not everyone has an adictive personality. the biggest point i would like to impress upon everyone is that some people do. I can't ever get back the brain cells i burned, or the time i lost to my drug habbits.

 

my parents were paying so little attention that i could go home and eat sunday dinner high on 4 way window pane. they just didn't know any better, and they were so caught up in thier own issues that the fact that i was on the fast track to the loony bin just escaped them. I don't think it was out of malice, i know now that they love me the best they could. (i can say that after many years of therapy) however they missed some serious sings of problems. including a serious eating disorder, slef mutilation and two suicide atempts. for me drugs where an escape a way out. i was not "experimenting" i was activly self medicating. what i needed was help. looking back i didn't think i needed help, i thought everyone was as fucked up as i was. i don't think that is the case any more. primarily becuase now iknow what it feels like to not be that fucked up. my parents thought i was just beeing a normal pain in the ass teenager. they thought i was just partying like a normal teen and having some memories. in ways they were right, i certinly have some memories (emphisis on some, i really can't remeber a whole lot) drug use and abuse is a serious issue and can be a sign of bigger problems. it is something to keep in mind as your kids grow. again i get that not everyone has the same experinces that i had. and thank god. but if you have a child who is experimenting it is worth your time to be nosey and make sure it is JUST experimenting.

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and just look at the havoc its done to your spelling!!!!! OMFG!!

 

 

 

...just kidding, sort of...

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