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I LOVE TRAFFIC


olyclimber

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Driving in heavy traffic should be viewed as an opportunity. Time to spend thinking about things and sorting it all out. Quality time to check out what the full AM and FM spectrums offer in the way of entertainment. Time to memorize the rear profile of all makes and models of cars. Time to reflect on your life and of course time to write a scathing emails about the incompetence of others on your Blackberry.

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elk, cows, deer, goats, turkeys, :pagetop:, bears, skunks, cars, snakes, raccoons, badgers, bobcats, trucks, dogs, lions, and heavy equipment. Some days the roads are full of 'em, some days not.

 

The front-end of my truck is fuckedup from two collisions. One with a turkey. One with a big weimeraner.

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That stupid fido came runnin' straight at the front of the truck and hit me head-on. I was going 60mph on a winding section of a two-lane highway and had nowhere to go to avoid him.

 

It was pretty sick. He hit right on one of the 10" steel tangs of the snowplow mount that protrude from the front. A big bone from the dog's anatomy flew up and hit at the top of the windshield in front of me leaving blood, water, and fat on the glass. The windshield washer fluid wouldn't cut it. The wipers smeared it in a grisly arc across the glass.

 

I looked in the rear-view mirror to see one of the fog lights tumbling and three or four big hunks of dog smearing greasy paths from the impact point along the highway. It was out in an area without any houses and I needed to get to town before a particular business closed for the day, so I kept driving.

 

I pulled up to the curb, parallel parking in front of the business minutes before they were due to close. A guy walking down the sidewalk looked at the front of my truck casually then, his visage changed to a look of alarm. I thought, "shit, the dog fuckedup more than just the fog lamp.” I got out of the truck and walked around to the front to look before heading into the business. There was a substantial cape of the dog’s hide still hanging/dragging from the snowplow tang.

 

I looked up and around to see there was no one in close proximity. Also, there was a city refuse container on the sidewalk next to my truck. I pulled the wet hide from where it hung and deposited it…

 

…and headed straight for the business’s restroom to wash my hands. "Out, damn spot"!

 

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