roboboy Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Hey, tanstaafl, you sound just like me. Wouldn't it make sense for people so alike to get married and have kids... ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 chuck is right about the flexibility. i think if you're shooting for big climbs every weekend when you have kids it'll be tough. but it seems like there'd be room for compromise. a couple times a month? alternate weekends w/your spouse? you get your activity one weekend, she gets hers the next? Â Â I gotta go with minx here, Chuck. <10 times a year is lame. At the very least, I would try for a couple times a month. With 4 weekends in a month, that seems perfectly fair to me -- 50%. Â When the going gets tough, send flowers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 You're forgetting about the kids, do they count? If I took off every other free day, and my wife did the other half that'd leave the kids with one parent at all times (i.e. divorce!!) Â Then there's the goddamned home maintenance and other sundry chores that are pretty tough to work in during the the work/school week. Â Â It's not that I'm saying < 10 days/year is not lame, just that 50% is greatly oversimplifying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Maybe if both of you were into getting out you'd be out, with the kids, more instead of playing the zero-sum "one of you has to stay home so if you get some, I don't" thing. Several of my friends were raised by climbing parents and they were in the mountains with their parents basically from the get-go (Waddington Range at age 3 in one case) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minx Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 g-spotter is on the right track. my son doesn't care to climb but he gets dragged along all the same. he doesn't have to climb but he has to come along sometimes. he's a pretty good little "approacher" if you get him on a good day. Â assuming that chuck's wife doesn't want to climb they have to find some balance. maybe it's every third weekend? one day some weekends, the whole weekend other times, some weekends is just family time and home maintenance? there is always afterwork. Â the kids are number one but by giving up your interests, i think you're telling your kids that they're the center of the universe. while they might be the center of your world, it's good for them to understand that it doesn't always revolve around them. you can find ways to spend more time with them. it doesn't always have to be a "family event". time with your kids includes helping with homework, projects around the house, going to soccer practice, skiing, movie night, dinner. what's wrong wiht saying "i'm getting up early and going to index. i'll be home at 2 to fix the fence. we can have dinner and catch a movie in the evening" no it's not a big climb. but if you do more of that it might be easier to get one or two weekends a month for a big climb. Â also remember, climbing season doesn't have to be all year. more time with the family when the climbing isn't as good. get your wife a hobby! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pink Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 couples that play together stay together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selkirk Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Whatever you say man. You guys make it sound about as appealing as a root canal. At a conservative estimate, I got out easily 100 days last year, and no one yelled at me for it either. And when I didn't get it, it was my own damn fault.  Good for you. That said I'm married (wife climbs some, but not nearly as much). Started a brand new job with limited vacation (10days/yr), spent 2 months working 2 jobs, and 1 month working 3 jobs, went through the whole looking for a house/loan application/buying/dealing with new said house and the furnace crapping out and still managed probably 40+ days out last year. Not phenomenal but not half bad either considering I lost almost all of June/July/August to the house thing. And probably only 10 of those were with the wife. Of course she did get to spend 2 weeks trekking in in the Himalaya's without me. Not only did no one yell at me but I usually had good food, wine, a happy wife, and a warm bed waiting when I got home. For Christmas she got me an ice climbing pack and encourages me to do stupid things like winter climbing and drytooling in the dark The only thing I get pestered about is not having or wanting a cell phone  Being married only sucks if you marry someone who either makes it suck or the dynamic between you sucks. My wife kicks butt and I wouldn't trade my life or spouse for anything in the world. If you want it to, find a good partner, and actively work at, being married rocks   Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 G-spot, you are correct, but is a bit tangential. My poll was asking how often do you get out, WITHOUT the kids. Â We regularly take our kids out backpacking, hiking, cragging, skiing, etc... I like those, but I also greatly enjoy more serious endeavours like grade III's and above, days of hard crag routes and other more strenuous and demanding adventures. My kids can't handle that yet, and I doubt my wife could either. My poll was focused on how much time you get to seriously devote to that selfish pursuit which basically necessarily excludes family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selkirk Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Good points Minx and G-spotter....I was roped up and climbing at age 5 (my dad stopped climbing shortly thereafter but it was mostly due to a neck injury he received on Prusik), hiking at age 5 with the parents and grandparents, and started skiing at 7 (sister was 5) and started backpacking at age 8 (sister was 6). Hell, who hasn't run into couples backpacking with kids who aren't even old enough to walk yet? Â Kids certainly mean that priorities change, and you might have to cut back on the technical part, but if they're old enough to walk they're just about old enough to start hiking/ backpacking/ snowshoeing/ skiing. I loved growing up with active parents! I probably have the same number of days out per year now that I did growing up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 G-spot, you are correct, but is a bit tangential. My poll was asking how often do you get out, WITHOUT the kids. Â We regularly take our kids out backpacking, hiking, cragging, skiing, etc... I like those, but I also greatly enjoy more serious endeavours like grade III's and above, days of hard crag routes and other more strenuous and demanding adventures. My kids can't handle that yet, and I doubt my wife could either. My poll was focused on how much time you get to seriously devote to that selfish pursuit which basically necessarily excludes family. Â Getting out is getting out. If you wanted to have more time for selfish pursuits maybe getting married and dropping sprogs was the wrong idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 (edited) As so often happens on this board I believe you are projecting yours/others thoughts onto me. I was careful not to bitch about being restricted. In fact, in my responses I did quite the opposite. I actually gave some reasons why it might not be reasonable to expect a ton of climbing time while married with kids. Â I made my own decision at getting married and having kids. I had my reasons. And I'm not bitching to you about it. Just trying to get some information. Â You should find another target to be condescending and better than. Â Â Â ...and to all you married-with-children climbers, answer this poll! Edited January 30, 2007 by chucK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billcoe Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Family always comes first, so if I need to stay home to make the wife and kids happy, then so be it. Â Good man. You can rest assured that your unselfishness, and that's what it is, is making the world a better place. Â Long afer it's been forgotten that you did the North Ridge of Stewart - or whatever climb you can think of up to the Everest North Face, your family will remember and revere you for that commitment. There is nothing more important than raising a family and commiting to being responsible IF YOU HAVE CHOSEN that path. Â I see dudes acting like sperm donors and moving on and it's bullshit. Shawn Kemp as a blatant example. Â Wrap it or don't, but if you chose NOT too, then act responsibly and commit to the kids who need you there for them. Â What works for one person might not work for another though, it's truely a your results may vary scenario. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 As so often happens on this board I believe you are projecting yours/others thoughts onto me. I was careful not to bitch about being restricted. In fact, in my responses I did quite the opposite. I actually gave some reasons why it might not be reasonable to expect a ton of climbing time while married with kids. I made my own decision at getting married and having kids. I had my reasons. And I'm not bitching to you about it. Just trying to get some information.  You should find another target to be condescending and better than.    ...and to all you married-with-children climbers, answer this poll!  So you want to get out and do more without the wife and kids, and you started a poll to find out how much more you should be allowed to, but you're not complaining about it. OK. Sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 For Christmas she got me an ice climbing pack and encourages me to do stupid things like winter climbing and drytooling in the dark  Uh OH! Somebody needs to break those tools in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 We have no kids, so the 50/50 ratio is workable for my wife and I. She likes to backpack and sea kayak but not climb. That's completely fine with me, because I enjoy just being out, especially with her. I'm also glad I have the chance to climb with certain extraterrestrial mutants and enjoy those relationships without mixing it all up. I also like a few solo trips a year. Best of all worlds, really. Everyone needs a vacation from time to time from even the best relationship, a principle which I'm sure my wife heartily endorses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Well I guess it is pretty useless arguing with the mind reader, but  "So you want to get out and do more without the wife and kids, " I don't think I stated as much, but...who doesn't?  "and you started a poll to find out how much more you should be allowed to" Not exactly. I started a poll to see how much other people in similar situations get out.  ", but you're not complaining about it." Nope. Just trying to get some data on whether I really should complain.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minx Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 i also think some of this comes down to how many days v. weekends you're trying to get completely free and clear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 For Christmas she got me an ice climbing pack and encourages me to do stupid things like winter climbing and drytooling in the dark  If your wife has any extra disposable income and would like to help another budding marriage along out of the goodness of her heart, I'm in need of a new pair of Quarks next Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMR Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 chuck...  just answered your poll...ten days a year "alone" is my number...give or take a couple days.  it gets lower each year, but i'm not too upset about it. Our youngest is 7 months now and she just necessitates being home more from both parents.  My oldest is 7 and he chomps at the bit to get out, so a lot of "my play days", i'm actually out with him...he can absolutely crank, so he doesn't hold me back on that side of it, loves to ski, loves hiking, bitches far less than some of my buddies do and generally is an all around good guy to be around...yeah, sure, might have to take in an animated movie down at smith, but that ain't so bad instead of hanging out with the drunkards at the grasslands...  his younger brother at 4 is shaping up to be the same...my guess is that the daughter is gonna be a tomboy because of her bro's influence....  one hidden benefit to this, is my wife has gradually drifted away from outside "play"...well now that her punkins are stoked on it, she feels like she's missing out and is starting to include herself in the fun...  MY SECRET PLAN IS WORKING!!!! --ropegun development --ski buddy development --packhorse development  its rad!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Â Getting my kids up to similar speed on the skiing end. Haven't had as much success on the climbing. I might have to take up soccer. Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 sweet  My wife and son love hiking/camping, but have zero interest in climbing (I've tried). My daughter, however, is totally into it. She's only 4, and little, and makes me carry her, but I'm hoping she will be my new climbing buddy one day. She watches climbing vids with me -- Steph Davis is her favorite.  When did you get your son to start climbing? My daughter loves bouldering but gets scared with a harness/rope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMR Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 (edited) started both kids at 3 by swinging them in harnesses and helping them boulder and monkey bar around...fun timez... Â Both kids wigged out about heights around 4 but the older one has gotten over that by 6, and i suspect the younger one will do that too...the seven year old's done great northern slab, then rapped off by himself from the top of BOC (as well as climbing that...its a tough offwidth for him near the top)...he's also climbed the 2 pitch flank route of karate wall and rapped that...that's some exposure for a seven year old...this summer we are planning on doing the grand and some other multi's up at squamish (he can pull 5.10 and 5.11 crack routes, plus, if he gets stuck he's so stinkin' light i can winch through a tough section)... Edited January 30, 2007 by RuMR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 How do you handle your belay, and the contingency of you getting hurt on a mulitpitch? I assume you plan to bring along another adult on the Grand? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minx Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 my son will boulder all the time. soon as the rope gets involved its all over. the rest of it he's a great buddy. i should probably take up soccer but i'm pretty sure skate boarding again is a bad idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMR Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 How do you handle your belay, and the contingency of you getting hurt on a mulitpitch? I assume you plan to bring along another adult on the Grand? Â oh yeah...i always have a third who does the actual belaying...and there's always a set of eyes on him when he leaves the belay and when he arrives at a belay...we make him do all of his own knots and tying in etc. but its also looked over as well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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