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now this is how one rants


RuMR

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you mean these?

 

alcoa.jpg

 

yep. i like to slip it on and flex for the dominatrix before we get down n' dirty with some crazy monkey sex.

 

wtf?? how come the mutherfucking photolink tags ain't workin'??

 

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yo g-spot, i'm wearing the same white sweats in both pics: the one of me [ahem] soloing alcoa and the other pic of me *cough cough* on the cover of climbing magazine. so SUKIT.

 

now hang up the goddamned phone, i can't dance with you anymore.

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Great pic Bob.

 

Now about all this:

 

fuck each and every one of you. none of you wil ever be as worthy of the air you breath as me. i have better taste in music than you. i've been at many of indie rock's most legendary shows. i climbed 5.13 and bouldered V8 before most of you little cocksuckers (mr. df excepted, of course) were even fucking BORN. i know all the fucking players. if i wanted a bitch-ass mondo i could get one with ONE FUCKIN PHONE CALL. i DON'T WANT ONE. so SUKIT. i can simultaneously channel pablo neruda, hank williams jr, kurt cobain and the fucking beast 666 without breaking a fucking SWEAT. you will NEVER be good as me. i am with the important people now I am SECRETLY an IMPORTANT MAN HANG UP THE PHONE I CAN'T DANCE WITH YOU ANYMORE, GO TO YOUR T.V., TURN ON YOUR T.V., YOU WILL SEE ME AND JACKIE O, EATING ORANGES IN A PARK AVENUE PENTHOUSE

 

i fucking SHOT SPEED with most of your fucking HEROS. i am GOD. I AM GOD. giant metal-machine screams fill the air as pterodactyls dive down on me (mr. df excepted, of course) while i hit the throttle and scream forward on a journey you cannot possible fathom. switching to full auto, i empty the clip as i fire prolonged bursts of gray matter ouT iNTO the UNIVERSE.

 

BITCHES. you are all deserving of my most putrid BILE. I eat your fucking HATE for BREAKFAST. hate isIS FUCKING FOood To ME. I HUNGER.

 

Yup, kind of makes me remember my first beer too.

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these ones. pwned.

 

Dru, there's a funny crossover point where your virtually eidetic memory makes you seem like a stalker. You haven't been online dating with Cindy66 for the last six months, have you?

 

it's actually the first result when you google: " "van belle" climbing". who needs an eidetic memory? the world's gonna know forever, and all his leather suspender pseudo-butch faux-oldschool shit now will never cover up the fact that, bvb wore a banana hammock euro backdoor action suit that went all the way to his ankles. probably, in fact, a women's Danskin number. What's your girl size Bob? Did you fit in a 10?

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