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jonmf76

Dying is NOT worth it.

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You guys are clearly a bunch of dumb pussies.

 

Is everyone on this board an asshole for a specific reason or were you just born that way?

 

I like to think that I was born a dumb pussy due to an accident of nature, but worked hard, damn hard, to become an asshole for the specific reason of no longer being viewed as just another dumb pussy.

 

One thing I never forget to bring to an emergency situation is the capability of CAPITALIZING the most poignant points of my posts.

 

Finally, I'd like to POINT OUT that dying in the mountains is WAY COOLER than dying from, say, prostate cancer or a disease of the anus. Much as we'd like to pretend otherwise, there is a hierarchy of cool ways to buy the farm, with spaceship malfunction being pretty near the top, and a dog eating your face off while you're passed out from too much malt liquor after a meth binge being somewhere near the bottom.

 

Some finer points: Motorcycle accident > car accident.

Brain tumor > colon cancer. Lion attack > pitbull attack. Hit by train > hit by bus. Shot by a jealous lover > shot by your spouse.

 

Don't ask me why this is, it just is.

 

so where would this death go on the cool scale?

nasa train carrying boosters derails

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The Dying Cool scale could be measured with the following criteria. Weighting TBD.

 

Fault factor (yours/theirs)

 

Uniqueness of method factor.

 

Spectacularity factor.

 

Embarrassment factor.

 

Newsworthiness factor.

 

Sympathy factor.

 

'Overstayed welcome' factor.

 

Numbers (just you? others, too?) factor.

 

Coolness of contributing factors factor. (Ex: Trailer propane tank or solid rocket booster explosion?)

 

Location, location, location factor.

Edited by tvashtarkatena

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so where would this death go on the cool scale?

nasa train carrying boosters derails

 

Well, had people been killed in this accident, lets find out using the (Tvashtar Awesomeness Of Death)TAOD Scale

 

Fault factor (yours/theirs) THEIRS

 

Uniqueness of method factor. HIGH

 

Spectacularity factor. HIGH

 

Embarrassment factor. LOW

 

Newsworthiness factor. HIGH

 

Sympathy factor. MEDIUM

 

'Overstayed welcome' factor. N/A

 

Numbers (just you? others, too?) factor. MEDIUM

 

Coolness of contributing factors factor. (Ex: Trailer propane tank or solid rocket booster explosion?) HIGH

 

Location, location, location factor. LOW

 

This would score pretty high on the scale, I'd say.

Edited by tvashtarkatena

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TAOD Snowmobile Avy death scoring:

 

Fault factor (yours/theirs) YOURS

 

Uniqueness of method factor. LOW

 

Spectacularity factor. MEDIUM

 

Embarrassment factor. HIGH

 

Newsworthiness factor. MEDIUM

 

Sympathy factor. LOW

 

'Overstayed welcome' factor. HIGH (from a skiers standpoint)

 

Numbers (just you? others, too?) factor. MEDIUM

 

Coolness of contributing factors factor. (Ex: Trailer propane tank or solid rocket booster explosion?) MEDIUM

 

Location, location, location factor. MEDIUM

 

Not a great score on this one.

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Dying of thirst on a survival course in front of a bunch of other people:

 

Fault factor (yours/theirs) OFF THE CHARTS

 

Uniqueness of method factor. HIGH

 

Spectacularity factor. LOW

 

Embarrassment (Darwin) factor. EXTREME

 

Newsworthiness factor. HIGH

 

Sympathy factor. NONEXISTENT

 

'Overstayed welcome' factor. Unknown

 

Numbers (just you? others, too?) factor. HIGH

 

Coolness of contributing factors factor. (Ex: Trailer propane tank or solid rocket booster explosion?) LOW

 

Location, location, location factor. MEDIUM

 

 

Edited by tvashtarkatena

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2006-2007 winter season avalanche deaths:

 

13 snowmobilers

 

11 skiers

 

1 snowshoer

 

1 climber

 

Who do you think got the biggest write-up?

 

(source: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/6600ap_wst_avalanches_snowmobiles.html )

 

My plans for next winter are to snowmobile out to my chosen ice climb with my skis and snowshoes strapped to my back. Oh, and I'll have whiskey. Then, I will die a spectacular death. No horse involved.

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You guys are clearly a bunch of dumb pussies.

 

Is everyone on this board an asshole for a specific reason or were you just born that way?

 

I like to think that I was born a dumb pussy due to an accident of nature, but worked hard, damn hard, to become an asshole for the specific reason of no longer being viewed as just another dumb pussy.

 

One thing I never forget to bring to an emergency situation is the capability of CAPITALIZING the most poignant points of my posts.

 

Finally, I'd like to POINT OUT that dying in the mountains is WAY COOLER than dying from, say, prostate cancer or a disease of the anus. Much as we'd like to pretend otherwise, there is a hierarchy of cool ways to buy the farm, with spaceship malfunction being pretty near the top, and a dog eating your face off while you're passed out from too much malt liquor after a meth binge being somewhere near the bottom.

 

Some finer points: Motorcycle accident > car accident.

Brain tumor > colon cancer. Lion attack > pitbull attack. Hit by train > hit by bus. Shot by a jealous lover > shot by your spouse.

 

Don't ask me why this is, it just is.

 

 

 

 

 

You might just be the greatest genius in the history of time my friend! :rawk:

 

Do you suppose falling into a bottomless crevasse < great than peeling off of a big wall while soloing? Seriously, if you are going to die in the mountains, there are certainly some situations that are cooler than others.

 

For example, I'd rather die in the big wall situation than get my skull smashed by a rock that some wanker up above me on the DC knocked loose!

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2006-2007 winter season avalanche deaths:

 

13 snowmobilers

 

11 skiers

 

1 snowshoer

 

1 climber

 

Who do you think got the biggest write-up?

 

(source: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/6600ap_wst_avalanches_snowmobiles.html )

 

My plans for next winter are to snowmobile out to my chosen ice climb with my skis and snowshoes strapped to my back. Oh, and I'll have whiskey. Then, I will die a spectacular death. No horse involved.

 

Remember, don't take any water.

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The perception and the informed assumption of risk is not particularly fine-tuned in human beings to begin with. Risk-taking has a Darwinian imperative associated with it along with Darwinian consequences. No one sets out to die or become injured. Accidents happen due to a cascading chain of complex events which may appear simple on the surface in hindsight, but were probably not at the time if one could playback and examine all the variables and events sequentially.

 

The outcome of the imperative/consequence ratio is all about knowledge, skill, and experience combined environmental factors and even a bit of random luck. The idea behind "making your own luck" plays heavily here - stack the deck in your favor as best you can and pick your battles well. I personally love to do onsight, trad FA's, but I have the experience and skills to do them, accept the risks they entail, and doing them or not is simply less of a question for me than whether I am happy with my seritonin levels today...

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2006-2007 winter season avalanche deaths:

 

13 snowmobilers

 

11 skiers

 

1 snowshoer

 

1 climber

 

Who do you think got the biggest write-up?

 

(source: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/6600ap_wst_avalanches_snowmobiles.html )

 

My plans for next winter are to snowmobile out to my chosen ice climb with my skis and snowshoes strapped to my back. Oh, and I'll have whiskey. Then, I will die a spectacular death. No horse involved.

 

Remember, don't take any water.

 

Snowmobilers are required to take beer anyway.

 

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You guys are clearly a bunch of dumb pussies.

 

Is everyone on this board an asshole for a specific reason or were you just born that way?

 

I like to think that I was born a dumb pussy due to an accident of nature, but worked hard, damn hard, to become an asshole for the specific reason of no longer being viewed as just another dumb pussy.

 

One thing I never forget to bring to an emergency situation is the capability of CAPITALIZING the most poignant points of my posts.

 

Finally, I'd like to POINT OUT that dying in the mountains is WAY COOLER than dying from, say, prostate cancer or a disease of the anus. Much as we'd like to pretend otherwise, there is a hierarchy of cool ways to buy the farm, with spaceship malfunction being pretty near the top, and a dog eating your face off while you're passed out from too much malt liquor after a meth binge being somewhere near the bottom.

 

Some finer points: Motorcycle accident > car accident.

Brain tumor > colon cancer. Lion attack > pitbull attack. Hit by train > hit by bus. Shot by a jealous lover > shot by your spouse.

 

Don't ask me why this is, it just is.

 

 

 

 

 

You might just be the greatest genius in the history of time my friend! :rawk:

 

Do you suppose falling into a bottomless crevasse < great than peeling off of a big wall while soloing? Seriously, if you are going to die in the mountains, there are certainly some situations that are cooler than others.

 

For example, I'd rather die in the big wall situation than get my skull smashed by a rock that some wanker up above me on the DC knocked loose!

 

We at Supreme Disposal Services Ltd., 'Your Waste Problem Solution!'™, are interesed in obtaining a long-term lease for this "bottomless crevasse" you mention. Please PM location details.

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Dying from falling into a bottomless crevasse TAOD factor: High.

 

Dying from falling into a bottomless crevasse filled with garbage: Not so high.

Edited by tvashtarkatena

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We at Supreme Disposal Services Ltd., 'Your Waste Problem Solution!'™, are interesed in obtaining a long-term lease for this "bottomless crevasse" you mention. Please PM location details.

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

Funniest reply you've ever posted. Shit; I had Diet Coke coming out my nostrils when I read that. :laf:

 

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Getting fucked to death is probably a better option anyway.

 

I'll take the "Shot in the back by a jealous husband" option please.

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Getting fucked to death is probably a better option anyway.

 

Richard Pryor had a great routine about this happening to his father.

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Getting fucked to death is probably a better option anyway.

Are you advertising your porn sites again?

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Getting fucked to death is probably a better option anyway.

 

Richard Pryor had a great routine about this happening to his father.

 

Richard Pryor: 'My Daddy died while having sex with a beautiful, eighteen-year-old girl. At his funeral, people were comin' up to me sayin', "oh, I'm so sorry." "oh, this is so terrible." "oh, the poor man."

 

WHAT THE FUCK!

 

If you had to choose how you were goin' to die between gettin' hit by a bus or bein' fucked to death, which would you choose?

 

I know I'd be in that loooooong motherfuckin' line.'

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