letterman....

[underworld]

FROM THE TOP TEN CONTEST

Top Ten Punchlines To Dirty Pirate Jokes

Submitted by Late Show viewers

 

 

10. "Brokeback Mutiny"

 

9. "He's all cannon and no balls"

 

8. "Thar she blows!"

 

7. "And that's why Roger is so jolly"

 

6. "Yes it's curved, but it ain't no hook"

 

5. "That's not what I meant when I said I needed some seamen"

 

4. "Now that's a booty!"

 

3. "So that's how my wife got termites"

 

2. "Arrgh, we call it 'The Aristocrats'!"

 

1. "If you won't go down on the ship, will you at least go down on the Captain?"

[Mos_Chillin]

Top Ten Signs You're Watching A Bad Pirate Movie

 

 

10. Stars Johnny Depp's half-brother Kenny Depp

 

9. Most of the action takes place at a Long John Silver's in Harrisburg

 

8. It's two hours of Blackbeard and Redbeard checking each other for ticks

 

7. Only piracy is the illegal distribution of Boz Scaggs concert bootlegs

 

6. The lead pirate's catchphrase: "Arrrrrrt Garfunkel!"

 

5. The only pillaging is the six dollars the theater charges for popcorn, am I right, ladies and gentlemen?

 

4. The parrot keeps saying, "This movie sucks"

 

3. Pirates stumble around because they wear two eyepatches

 

2. In climax, ship gets blown out of water by defective North Korean missile

 

1. Hero is incapacitated after getting his swash caught in his buckle