Superman Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 To the tall, wiry, challenged looking fellow at REI working in the watch/GPS department whose pitiful excuse for a brain can't perform two computations at once: I patiently waited for you to take 15 minutes to ring up one GPS unit. I then patiently waited for you to fill out some form, fold it into perfect 90 degree angles, ensuring that no corner was creased improperly, and place it neatly in a pile in a right angle to the register. I then watched you adjust your shirt and wipe the dog hair off your pants. The whole while, you never even acknowledged my presence, you never said, "I'll be with you in a moment", you didn't even look at me, even though my basket full of REI crap was in plain sight on the top of the display counter. Then some lady walks up out of nowhere and asks if you'll ring her up for her portable ice cream maker and you oblige, oblivious to the fact that there's someone else who's been waiting for 15 minutes - patiently - to be served.. When I inform you that I was there, waiting patiently, for 15 minutes, you get snippy and tell me to walk over to the register if I want to be helped. Listen fucktard, how about I shove this basket up your ass? Part of your simpleton job is to recognize who is standing in line. If a customer wants to ask you a question about something you sell, you can do your job and walk over to me where I've been patiently waiting (for 15 minutes - in the exact place where the customer you just served was standing). I didn't see you ask the guy buying the GPS to walk over to the register to ask his silly questions about why the contour lines are gray, and will it work for his annual weeklong trip up Mt. Si. Furthermore, your job is not rocket science. You have a handful of functions you perform in your daily routine, none of them requiring more than two brain cells to execute. I'd like to think that I can at least expect you to perform two of those functions at once. You screw up a simple part of your job, then you want to get loud and make me look like a jerk for calling you on it? And to the guy with the rainbow pants and ugly mutt of a girlfriend who snickered at me for getting loud ... mind your own business, assclown. Thankyou for allowing superhero to post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaskadskyjKozak Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 you went to REI and expected differently? who's the moron? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superman Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 It's the only place I know to get freeze-drieds. Fuckknob. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaskadskyjKozak Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 It's the only place I know to get freeze-drieds. Fuckknob. yeah, that's the only place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 GI Joe's has a good selection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 He was probably put off by your tights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lI1|1! Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 What happened to the laser beam eyes, dude? I would have fried his ass right there and taken my basket out the door without paying. Of course, this goes against all superhero ethics, but who cares, I'm fucking superman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 What happened to the laser beam eyes, dude? I would have fried his ass right there and taken my basket out the door without paying. Of course, this goes against all superhero ethics, but who cares, I'm fucking superman. Jay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Jay? Fuck, Fuck, Fuckidity, Fuckidity Fuck. Ball sucking fuckin fuckidy fuck fuck shitty fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billcoe Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Hmmm, Superman must be a black guy. Typical retail discrimanation dude. Probably lucky the clerk didn't call the cops on your ass for having a basket full of their stuff you didn't pay for! You know what an all white jury would have said? Bye Bye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenSeagal Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Does AquamanJr. or the late Aquaman have any comment on this? Superheroes, unite. You know what I would have done in this case. Grow a set, Superman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mountainmatt Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I'm fucking superman. Is he any good in bed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TREETOAD Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Freeze dried fuckknobs hmmm sounds tasty. Is that some kind of Superman hiking food? It is infuriating when you are over looked especially when you are so much superior to the dotard serving you. Maybe he is really sensitve to vibes and picked up that superiority thing from you and figured to himself "I gonna fuck with this biggoted shit-node, shouldn't be too hard" After you left he probably looked at the other couple and they all laughed their bags off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superman Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 TREETOAD, do you happen to wear rainbow pants? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TREETOAD Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 If I did would you be interested? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom_Sjolseth Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I've had a similar experience at REI. Customer service is not their forte, it seems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superman Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 If I did would you be interested? If I wasn't interested, would you be quick to pull the bigot card? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 you must be a superman if you stood there for 15 minutes. i wouldn't have lasted 2 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenSeagal Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 i wouldn't have lasted 2 minutes. Word from the girls on the street is Superman doesn't last 2 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superman Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 Seagal, you don't stand a chance. And those "girls" you've been talking to... pay close attention to the Adam's apple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willstrickland Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 This episode brings up a VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION: Are you an REI member? Would you like to become one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 and wouldn't you like to treat your climbing partner right next time by bringing along the Picnic At Ascot Deluxe Backpack with Blanket - 4 Person? Climb into the perfect picnic place--this technical climbing pack is loaded with everything you could possibly want for a gourmet outdoor dining experience for four, on the Big Wall or At the Crag. * Features complete place settings for four people with virtually indestructible plates, acrylic wine glasses and stainless knives, forks and spoons * Large 55 x 55 inch blanket with water resistant backing gives you a clean place to spread your portable feast * Zippered food compartment is fully insulated with Thermal Shield™ to keep your hot foods warm or cold foods cool * Thermal Shield insulated wine bottle pouch detaches from side of pack with brass buckles to allow easy pouring; comes with wine-key bottle opener * Includes: wooden cutting board, cheese knife, closable wooden salt and pepper shakers, nickel plated bottle stopper and cloth napkins * Adjustable backpack straps, plus carry handle and detachable shoulder strap give you carrying options * Blanket roll can be detached and carried separately Made in USA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenSeagal Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 And those "girls" you've been talking to... pay close attention to the Adam's apple. Thanks for the advice. For you, the cock and balls must have been quite a surprise....especially after the fact. I appreciate your concern that none of us makes the same mistake. So much for x-ray vision though . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superman Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 Surprise is not a word in Superman's vocabulary, Seagal. I'm sure you're a "hit" with all the "girls". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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