olyclimber Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 RULE #1: YOU MAY CONGRATULATE MEN AND CANADIANS ONLY. RULE #2: HYPERLATIVES, IF USED, MUST WEIGH NO MORE THAN .45 GRAMS. RULE #3: THERE IS NO RULE #3 RULE #4: PEOPLE DISERVE CONGRATULATIONS ONLY WHEN THEY DO SAFE THINGS. CONGRATULATIONS FOR DOING THINGS THAT HAVE RISK IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 How about congratulations for...  Wait for it....  A NEW SPEED RECORD?  Aconcagua Speed Record Report by Matt Heason  on 16 February 2006   We were recently sent the following email detailing a new speed record on Aconcagua.  A new world speed record in Aconcagua was established by the andinist and Peruvian mountain guide Holmes Pantoja Bayona on the 3th of February. He climbed 4.112 meters of desnivel in only 13 hours.  The attempt consisted in reaching the roof of America, 6.962 m, from the valley Horcones at 2.850. Moreover, the Peruvian guy returned to the same place after 20 hours 35min. without having a rest. The previous record was held by the well known mountain guide Willy Benegas of the North Face Team, who did the same trail in a little more than 23 hours.  Most of mountaineers who attempt to break the speed record, try this from the Base Camp Plaza de Mulas at 4.200 meters, but few of them try to do the entire trail, which starts from the entrance of the National Park Aconcagua.  First, the Peruvian guide of 28 years old, climbed Cerro Penitentes (4.800m) together with his colleague to acclimate. The next day they passed the whole day hydrating and resting till 22:45 pm, when they left for the inmense valley of Horcones, with the minimum of mountain equipment, to protect them from the cold.  For this speed ascent, they only wore sport shoes and the minimum of necessary clothes. Further more they carried some chocolate bars, a discman and water for the entire way. They choose to do the normal route or the northwest face of the mountain, where temperatures reach minus 18 degrees and parts of the trail are covered with frozen snow at higher altitudes.  At 12:35 on the 3 of February, Holmes Pantoja reached the summit of the Aconcagua and communicated his arrival to the Park Guards. His colleague, with whom he started the ascent, accompanied him till Camp Canadá at 4.800 meters.  Holmes immediately started to descend and reached very quickly the Base Camp Plaza de Mulas, from where he continued descending to his starting point, where he arrived at 19:26 pm. That's how he managed to set a new record for this route.  Some participants of the Andinist Club of Buenos Aires were witness to the event, which has also been registered in the Book of the Park Guards.  In comparison the current speed record from Everest Base Camp to Everest Summit, a vertical height gain of 3455m is 8 hours and 10 minutes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrogdortheBurninator Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 I would imagine that speed records are OK as long as said climber's soul is still thoroughly caged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ireneo_Funes Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 RULE #5: IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO CONGRATULATE OTHERS ON SPEED ASCENTS. IT IS, HOWEVER, ACCEPTABLE TO CONGRATULATE YOURSELF ON A SPEED ASCENT, BUT ONLY IF YOU USE A STABLE OF ANONYMOUS AVATARS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
underworld Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Rule #6: Do not congratulate at a urinal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Rule #7: Spell your rules correctly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted February 17, 2006 Author Share Posted February 17, 2006 Rule #8: catbirdteat is not allowed to make up rules for congratulations protocol. he doesn't diserve to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 come back when you have something worth posting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 I'm sorry, I don't have that kind of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 i am giving props too so don't go calling me a hater! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 i trust strangers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylou Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 RULE #4: PEOPLE DISERVE CONGRATULATIONS ONLY WHEN THEY DO SAFE THINGS. CONGRATULATIONS FOR DOING THINGS THAT HAVE RISK IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. Â Unless they are men (see rule #1 for details) in which case they can be congratulated for their big cajones and 'bold ascent'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 the ant-feminists will be all over you for that one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZimZam Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 i trust strangers How 'bout some candy little boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
underworld Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 kudos to strangers with candy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Girls named Candy are rarely strangers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squid Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 I couldn't be bothered to read this whole thread, but I just wanted to say that I'm not all that impressed with all the puffery & ass-slapping that goes on this site. Most of this shit wouldn't be warrant a comment during a dull week in Boulder. Who is is this protocol anyway, and what did he do? I didn't see shit about it in Urban Climber? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 RULE #9: NO CONGRATULATIONS ARE TO BE PUT FORTH TO MEMBERS OF EITHER GENDER FOR EYEBALLS PAINTED ON TITS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justplanecrazy Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Damn I should have read this earlier!!!  Rules regarding posts violating congratulational protocol:  1. Think about what you're going to say, but before you type it, drink a bottle of rye, watch broke back mountain and bang your head against all the female rights pamphlets scattered on top of your keyboard.  2. be sure to take any possible insinuations from any posts and stretch them into full blown anti-female,semite,hippy,virgin,barnyard lover, grossly over stated facts.  3. If someone asks a logical question or makes a logical statement be sure to jump all over them for whatever the hell is making your crotch itch but be sure to never make any attempt at dealing with the question or statement that provoked the response  4. Just because someone is congratulating the girl in question doesn't mean that they're not a female hating, wife beating, cross burning, baby eating satanist who's goal in life is to take away the womans right to vote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justplanecrazy Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 I'm aiming for postal at 20 if you want to add another category... only 8 more to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 you're going to have to try harder than that, Mr. Vagina. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 i expect to get a heap of shite to be heaped on me when I get back. lets see how deep you guys can shovel it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlpineK Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Any of you faggots touch my stuff and I'll kill you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 Any of you faggots touch my stuff and I'll kill you. Â this is RULE # 10. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirp Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Damn I should have read this earlier!!! Rules regarding posts violating congratulational protocol:  1. Think about what you're going to say, but before you type it, drink a bottle of rye, watch broke back mountain and bang your head against all the female rights pamphlets scattered on top of your keyboard.  2. be sure to take any possible insinuations from any posts and stretch them into full blown anti-female,semite,hippy,virgin,barnyard lover, grossly over stated facts.  3. If someone asks a logical question or makes a logical statement be sure to jump all over them for whatever the hell is making your crotch itch but be sure to never make any attempt at dealing with the question or statement that provoked the response  4. Just because someone is congratulating the girl in question doesn't mean that they're not a female hating, wife beating, cross burning, baby eating satanist who's goal in life is to take away the womans right to vote  Hi Griz! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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