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Big Lou


pope

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Just finished reading Lou whitaker's book for the second time. You know the one. What a life. I mean, some of the stories in there make the guy seem larger than life. We all know about the Denali rescue where he and brother Jim picked up the chopper (which couldn't produce any lift at that altitude) and threw it up into the rarified air. But unless you've read his book, you probably didn't read about how Lou and Jim confessed to each other that they were no longer virgins, the night before their historic ascent of the North Tower of Index Mountain. You probably don't know that Lou's son and gal friend used to go hot tubbing in the buff with Big Lou and his second wife. And I'm sure you never heard how Big Lou and a bunch of Jansport sales reps set a hot tob occupancy record, which, according to Lou, never could have happened if they had been wearing their swim trunks.

What I want to know is...first of all, is anybody out in cyberspace who can substantiate this last story? Were you there? If so, was Big Brother Jim there also? And finally, you know what I'm getting around to: Big Lou and Big Jim are big boys....larger than life. Well, if you went tubbing with them, maybe you could tell us all whether they are proportionate.

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I'm pretty innocent, Cappo. What's an EWW? Anyway, Lou also relates how many, many people ask him why mountain guides are so eager to jump out of their clothes and take a dip in the creek. Lou explains that mountain guides take care of themselves and tend to stay in pretty good shape, and as such, they are proud of the way their bodies look. His book is so full of anecdotes about nudity and mountaineering, it just made me wonder whether those strange three-track ski trails on the Muir Snow Field were made by....

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Were you the little pervert hanging out in the bathroom at Paradise Saturday with a camera, tape measure, and some KY? First Ichero is hassled over his member, now poor Lou. I really don't understand your type. It was also my understanding that Lou and Jim lost their virginity to each other.

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Crazy, you ignorant f#@K, if you would just read MEMOIRS OF A MOUNTIN' GUIDE (that'

s mountin', as in mounting, and I'm not talking taxidermy), you would know that Lou and Jim confessed to each other that they'd been with girls, and that they could die up on Index without regrets. Lou explained that they did not, however, disclose to each other the names of their dates, because their father had taught them a gentleman's code of honor: apparently, if a woman was kind enough to let you have your way with her, you shouldn't go spreading her name all over town.

Gee, it's just this kind of goofy story that makes Lou's book so fun to read. What a life!

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Pope,

When I talk about mountin' it doesn't have much to do with climbing or taxidermy. grin.gif

I think you need to come clean about how you feel about Big Lou. Come on man I'm sure everyone here is very open minded wink.gif

Tell us what you would like Big Lou to do to you!!!

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Listen, boys, don't project your Big Lou fantasies onto everybody else in the climbing community. I am not queer...I'm a recovering homosexual, and as such, I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with Big Lou. Alpine Kay, I'm not in the way. Go live your dream. And by the way, Aidin': you should try free climbing.

Nevertheless, I keep hearing rumors that Lou really is larger than life. I talked to a fellow up by Pebble Creek who said that Lou's unit is so big, it makes its own weather. A gal I met up at Paradise said that McDonald's in Ashford is serving Coke in four sizes: small, medium, large, and Big Lou. A drunk in the Mountain Bar at Paradise said that Lou's unit is so big, Messner was forced to bivouac when he tried to climb it.

Look, I know this subject is a bit naughty, but I too am a big boy, and I think mountaineering presents special challenges to those of us who must live with this anatomical abnormality. Just this weekend, my unit suffered three crampon puncture wounds and was slammed in the car door twice. I'm thinking of forming some kind of support group, calling it something like Cascades' Woodsmen perhaps.

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I response to Peter,

Yeah I could care less about the guys but if you wanna be a smart ass bring it on.... I personally like to make fun of the mtnrs all day long. Not the ones that got grandfathered in either or Beckey of course. If you want just start another thread vs. me and call it whatever you like... BTW I know who you are it is a small world. Survival I say and I will be bearing the Afrika Korps symbols this winter on my helmet while Ice climbing.

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Hey Capt-

If you know me, then you know that I'm a good guy. I love to climb, I'm pretty easy going, and I'm a member of the Mountaineers. As for being a smart ass, I certainly don't have a monopoly on that. (Read: you are quite a smart ass yourself. But don't take it personal. It's just an observation) And I have no desire to start a thread vs. you.

My comment about Jim and Lou definitely had some sarcasm in it. It's intent was to make the point that Mountaineers aren't all that bad. A lot are actually pretty darn good.

I hope we meet sometime at a full campsite, so I can offer you a place to sleep. You are welcome at my campsite anytime.

-Peter

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How big is Lou's tool? It's so big it plays golf with the President. It's so big it has three moons. It's so big it's got a basement and a lobby. It's so big he can get action simultaneously in three counties. It's so big it's got a snow patch that lasts through July. It's so big it doesn't return Spielberg's calls. It's so big it's got rappel anchors.

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