Jump to content

Another Photo Caption Contect


Weekend_Climberz

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 28
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

"Wait, what am *I* doing at a conference on supercomputing?"

 

Actually, the best mis-quote was from one of my colleagues who was mis-quoted in the Seattle Times as saying "We're hitting over a teraflop of sustained global bandwidth!" We'll be giving him a lot of shit over that for a long time, even though he didn't say it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

 

1. For no reason at all, your car would crash twice a day.

 

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

 

3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuver such as a left-turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, and you would have to reinstall the engine.

 

4. When your car died on the freeway for no reason, you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

 

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT', and then added more seats.

 

6. Apple would make a car powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five per cent of the roads.

 

7. Oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car default' warning light.

 

8. New seats would force every-one to have the same size butt.

 

9. The airbag would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.

 

10. Occasionally, for no reason, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.

 

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of road maps from Rand-McNally (a subsidiary of GM), even though they neither need them nor want them. Trying to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

 

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

 

13. You would press the 'start' button to shut off the engine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...