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What would you do for a season pass? (quasi NSFW)


Gaper_Jeffy

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I found this hilarious post in the "Women seeking Men" section of Portland's Craigslist:

 

http://portland.craigslist.org/w4m/109639705.html

Want to buy me a season pass to meadows? - 28

 

Reply to: pers-109639705@craigslist.org

Date: 2005-11-07, 8:16PM PST

 

I'm guessing that no you don't, and why should you blow your hard earned money on some skanky broke Creg's List ho just because she wants to snowboard this winter? I mean who does she think she is? These are two very good questions. In defense of myself I'm not a skanky ho, but I've decided I'm willing to act like one upon receit of one season pass to meadows or timberline. Do you want me to act bubly and dumb and obsessivly interested in your penis for the season? Would you like that? Done. Want to tease me, condescend to me, blame me, or call me your mom's name. Okay. Whatever. I can take it.

 

I can buy us power bars, drive, make peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches (like marge makes so the jelly doesn't run over the sides), and suck your cock until you come when ever you want. Something you should know about me though: I'm the kind of girl who doesn't date much, but when I do, I go dutch. Also, I look like the kind of girl who doesn't date much, but when she does, she goes dutch. Does it matter? I'll blow you while you watch whatever kinky porno you like.

 

I can pack us coffee or cocoa, and you can board alone if you want. I'm not even very good. Think about it. But hurry. I think that 4X4 or 10X10 deal ends on the 13th. Feel free to make the deal contingent on specific nonsexual (yes, I'll clean the grout in your bathroom) or sexual (yes, I'll jack you off in the car) requests. Think about it. Portland can be boring in the winter if you don't try new things and meet new people.

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Pathetic attempt, but nobody else was stepping up.

Hi,

I might be in the position to help you out with your season pass problem. I have the funds to get you a pass, but I'm curious about you. First, about me. I'm 29, fairly handsome, but might not catch your eye at a bar. I'm a homeowner and a working professional who doesn't have time to date. I'm also shy but "adventurous" and that's why your post caught my eye. I'm interested in trying this out, but you must be clean and not a cop. I don't know what "going Dutch" means, but do you do "Greek?" Before we take this any further I'd love to see a picture of you. You don't have to be naked or anything, but I'd like to see who I'm getting involved with.

 

I go skiing about every other weekend, and you'd be welcome to tag along and then enjoy some fun activities (I have a hot-tub!) afterwards. I look forward to your reply.

-Steve

I'll let you know what I hear.

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