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midafternoon joke break


knotzen

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Duck walks into a bar, jumps up on the barstool and says, "got any duck food?".

 

Bartender says, "no we don't have any duck food. We don't serve your kind. We have beer, wine and whiskey. Now get out of here, before I nail your bill to the bar!"

 

The duck waddles out.

 

Next day the duck comes back in, jumps up on the barstool and says, "got any nails?".

 

Bartender says, "no we ain't got any nails".

 

Duck says, "Got any duck food?"

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Reasons to Allow Drinking at Work

 

The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.

 

1. It's an incentive to show up.

 

2. It reduces stress.

 

3. It leads to more honest communications.

 

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

 

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

 

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

 

7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

 

8. It encourages carpooling.

 

9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.

 

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

 

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

 

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

 

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

 

14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

 

15. If something does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.

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A guy walks into his bedroom one night with a goose under his arm and looks at his wife lying in bed and says "This is the pig I F**k when you have a headache. The wife looks at the man with disdain and says, "You idiot thats not a pig that is a goose". The man replies "I am talking to the goose"

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So what happened with the skeleton and his beer?

That was the joke, in its entirety. C'est tout, c'est fini!

 

The thought of a skeleton drinking a beer was supposed to be funny. I guess. bigdrink.gif

 

Anyway, next? wave.gif

 

Wait wait wait... let's not move on so quickly here. So you repeat a joke here - that's not funny - that you don't really get yourself - and try to pawn it off as a "joke?" What is this, a joke? Oh.... I get it now.

 

Very subtle. I have underestimated you...

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