bunglehead Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Seems there's been a lot of references made to religion around here lately, So let's make some jokes. I'll go first. A Zen Buddhist walks into a pizza parlor. The guy behind the counter asks: "Hey buddy, can I get you something?" The buddhist replies: "Yes, make me one with everything" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 In a train car there was a Canadian, an American, a spectacular looking blonde, and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After a while, the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the American had a big red slap mark on his cheek. The blonde thought - "That American son of a bitch wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face." The fat lady thought - "That dirty old American laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him." The American thought - "That damn Canadian put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me." The Canadian thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon--so I can smack that stupid American again." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cj001f Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobra_Commander Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenp Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Why did Californian’s get herpes and we get Canadian’s? They got first choice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 How are Americans like hemmerhoids? When they come up and go back down they are just a temporary nuisance, but when they come up and stay up they're a real pain in the ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Canada - America's hat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Hockey religions and ancient weapons are a blast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selkirk Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Hockey religions and ancient weapons are a blast. Someone needs more coffee, her cleverness quotient is declining Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 I am asleep at my desk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Canada - America's hat we're the ones on top - replace management with Canada, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Most of you don't know what to do while on top--shitbag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMR Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 growl... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selkirk Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 I am asleep at my desk. That's ok, i'm asleep at someone elses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 “somebody is going to die!!!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 I am asleep at my desk. That's ok, i'm asleep at someone elses. I can't think of anything clever to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squid Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 I am not laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitergal Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Most of you don't know what to do while on top--shitbag AMEN SISTA!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMR Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 hence battery operated finishing tools... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitergal Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Amen Bro!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knotzen Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Oh Lord, Please Don't Burn Us Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock, Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok. Oh, please don't lightly poach us Or baste us with hot fat. Don't fricassee or roast us Or boil us in a vat, And please don't stick thy servants, Lord, In a Rotissomat. --Composed by Eric Idle and John Du Prez, authored by Graham Chapman and John Cleese (d'oh!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitergal Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 WTF?? k. now I'm officially lost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knotzen Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Oh, had the Religious Jokes thread drifted into sexual innuendo (as usual)? My mistake. Carry on, carry on. No, no, don't let me stop you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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