Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • olyclimber

      WELCOME TO THE CASCADECLIMBERS.COM FORUMS   02/03/18

      We have upgraded to new forum software as of late last year, and it makes everything here so much better!  It is now much easier to do pretty much anything, including write Trip Reports, sell gear, schedule climbing related events, and more. There is a new reputation system that allows for positive contributors to be recognized,  it is possible to tag content with identifiers, drag and drop in images, and it is much easier to embed multimedia content from Youtube, Vimeo, and more.  In all, the site is much more user friendly, bug free, and feature rich!   Whether you're a new user or a grizzled cascadeclimbers.com veteran, we think you'll love the new forums. Enjoy!
Sign in to follow this  
Gary_Yngve

finding-partners etiquette

Recommended Posts

If someone says to you, "I'd like to do something in the mountains this weekend; do you have any plans," to what extent have they committed to going on a trip with you should the objective be mutually agreeable?

 

With what urgency should they contact you if you email back saying, "Let's do something this weekend," and they're not game?

 

My policy is that whoever asks first has first priority, because when they ask, they (in my mind) implicitly commit to the trip. In the case of this past week, X asked me on Tuesday. I couldn't commit just yet, so I told X I'm tentatively interested but won't know till later. I told X to look for other partners in the meantime, and I won't be upset of X finds someone else. The next day, I was ready to commit to X. So I asked X if our trip was still on. In the meantime, Z emailed me, looking for a trip. I emailed Z back and said that X had gotten to me first but I had been noncommittal, so if X is not on, you're on. X had found Y (and a mellower objective appropriate for Y), and I wasn't annoyed because of what I previously told X (furthermore, X was apologetic and said I was welcome to join them). I emailed Z back less than 30 minutes after my first reply to Z, saying that X found someone else and now we're on. Nearly 24 hours later, I get an email back from Z saying that they have city plans instead, not even one single sorry. The thing that miffs me the most is that Z would normally check email at a much higher frequency than what it took to get a response. Because of the delayed response, that was nearly a full day that I could have been searching for other partners, but instead I was sitting on my ass assuming that I was doing something with Z.

 

So anyway, X is staying high on my reliability list, and Z is dropping. The stupid thing is I had an absolutely fabulous trip with W last weekend, and if that trip had been this weekend instead (and the flakiness the previous weekend), it wouldn't have bothered me so much. But because of the connotation of this weekend, I'm moodier.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ahhh... climber drama. It's like a really bad reality TV show in text form. yellowsleep.gif

 

Find out next week if W and X climb with Z! And, who the father of Y really is! cantfocus.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You must be popular...

 

I am sure with so many requests that you have very well-developed social skills. Just the fact that you are concerned with this issues reveals that you are considerate. I bet if you follow what makes sense to you and continue treating others with respect, you will be just fine.

 

--Miss M

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes I'm wondering if I'm being overly considerate, especially when I get flaked out on.

 

This weekend's turning out fine. I'm joining X and Y on Sunday and going cragging with V later this afternoon. Then heading to U's place for later evening plans. Will be interesting to see if Z shows up at U's too and is at all apologetic.

 

Anyway, my aggravation from yesterday is gone. I got a happy bday email from an old friend from undergrad, and

the embarrassing part is I forgot about her birthday, which was two days earlier!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sometimes I'm wondering if I'm being overly considerate, especially when I get flaked out on.

 

 

Gentle climber,

Your behavior is not contributing to their flakiness, so don't let their flakiness affect your politeness.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You climb with W?? hellno3d.gif

 

Yeah, he told me that I should preemptively tell all my partners to fuck off, and that way, no one will flake on me. He told me that the strategy is sound and should be followed without questioning because God is on our side.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You climb with W?? hellno3d.gif

 

Yeah, he told me that I should preemptively tell all my partners to fuck off, and that way, no one will flake on me. He told me that the strategy is sound and should be followed without questioning because God is on our side.

Did he say all that without stuttering, tripping over cop, or choking on a pretzel? Impressive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hang on, didn't X have a thing for Z, but then was upset after Z hooked up with Y? Or was that A who had a thing for C, but was upset with D?

 

Could you use more descriptive variables?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×