pope Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 "Rockfest" is here again and like last year, our opinion is that its ultimate goal is to get you excited so you can BUY MORE CRAP!!! In response, we are again providing our alternative event: the Third Annual “Dwayner and Pope's Goodtime Boulderin' Rodeo”. This is how it works: a couple of years ago, me and Dwayner found an old mattress near the railroad tracks by South Tacoma Way in Tacoma. It's got some major pee-stains and a few cigarette burns but otherwise, it will hold a tumble off a boulder like few others. Here it is (the one on top): GOOD NEWS!!! We still have the mattress and even though it spent yet another winter outside and has a few more questionable stains [ you know who you are, Missy! ], we can assure you that using our pad (for a nominal fee) is preferable to toting your own and looking like this parade of clowns: On Saturday, look for the mattress strapped to the top of one of our vehicles or pull over to the side of the road when you see the two of us ferrying "the pad" to a new site. We will be setting it up below some of the choicest of bouldering routes in Icicle Canyon. To lessen impact, we are limiting the Rodeo to Gurlz only. There will be a glass pickle jar nearby and we will be charging 50 cents a plop or you can get a punchcard: 3 plops for $5. Sit-starts are encouraged and ladies may bring their boyfriends for an extra-dollar providing the boyz shout classic calls of encouragement....you know, stuff like, "send it!", “allez” and "dyno for the mono-doight!" Other competing events include: Rockfest: Rock shoe demo. Boulderin' Rodeo: They's just wants you to buy new shoes! This is what we're gonna do: Meet us at Bruce's Boulder and we're going to try on each other's shoes. A can of Lysol will be provided. Rockfest: Free climbing/bouldering/gear clinics. Boulderin' Rodeo: No need to set up clinics specifically for climbers in Icicle Canyon although perhaps no other group is more worthy. I hear there's a free clinic in Leavenworth or Wenatchee where you can have your curious rashes examined. Rockfest: Bridgecreek group campsite. BBQ, Party Boulderin' Rodeo: Weenie roast at 8-mile CG followed by a new drinking game we invented which is a combination of strip poker and Twister. Rockfest: Outdoor slideshow by “Tommy and Beth” (don’t forget to call ‘em by their first names, ‘cause after all, ain’t we just one big family?) Boulderin' Rodeo: We don't have a slideshow, but if this year's event resembles last year, the attractions on our bouldering pad should be far more entertaining. NEW THIS YEAR!!!! Hey fellows, bring your gal to have her photo taken sandwiched between alpine role models Pope and Dwayner, posed on the filthy mattress described above. The price is $10 (for a Polaroid suitable for framing). Gurlz, don’t forget to smile and say, “Cheese!”….or perhaps “Lunch meat!” is more appropriate. The money accumulated will go to a good cause: a special fund for purchasing cheese burgers, deodorant, and anti-fungal spray for sport-climbing “life stylists”. Maybe its’ you (and you don’t even know it). Let’s make this year’s Alternative Bouldering Rodeo even more successful than last year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 now that was CHOICE POPE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 rockfest, beckfest, now popefest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glassgowkiss Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 poopfest. pls move this to spray Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glassgowkiss Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 hey poop, you'd be way more productive and funny if you shoved a 12" dildo up your sorry fat ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 hey poop, you'd be way more productive and funny if you shoved a 12" dildo up your sorry fat ass. like when all you got is a hammer every problem is a nail? wtf? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Poopfest does sound less commerical, but I'm horrified as to what they have done to the South Tacoma ecosystem. That mattress was the happy home of a whole host of insects and small furry rodents, and this environmentally challenged duo has thoughtlessly removed their habitat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave_Schuldt Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Now that I'm done laughing I can type. This is clasic, it should be a great event! Will there be a eating contest? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottP Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 hey poop, you'd be way more productive and funny if you shoved a 12" dildo up your sorry fat ass. Someone needs a hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 hey poop, you'd be way more productive and funny if you shoved a 12" dildo up your sorry fat ass. Someone needs a hug. Or a 12" dildo up their sad fat ass? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glassgowkiss Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Poopfest does sound less commerical, but I'm horrified as to what they have done to the South Tacoma ecosystem. That mattress was the happy home of a whole host of insects and small furry rodents, and this environmentally challenged duo has thoughtlessly removed their habitat. small furry rodents and duct tape? how about that poop? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave_Schuldt Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Sponsered by Micky's Big Mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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