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Alpiners Anonymous: PDX dry tool night

John Frieh

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Sorry to disappoint but this is not a thread about getting together and pooling money for a group rate on a hooker in NE… smileysex5.gif (but what you do afterwards is your business)


This is a thread for anyone who:


- has come to the conclusion that though you spent way more on a pair of ice tools than just about any other piece of equipment you own (rock shoes, etc) you use them way less (if not the least) cry.gif


- has decided that the best place to learn how to dry tool is probably on TR and not 30’ above a bullshit picket somewhere off route on Hood


- would like to the chance to “accidentally” drop an ice tool on mine or anyone else’s head from this site you find annoying and/or stupid (sorry I can’t guarantee Iain is going to show hahaha.gifboxing_smiley.gifwink.gif)


- need a reason to justify buying new crampons to the wife (look… they’re bent! and dull! please?!?)


- are a cute single female who finds bandanas and/or leather vests attractive and additionally has googled the name Michael Layton prior to attending (google block!)


- are a scrawny 140 lb boulder who in lieu of the fact that you post numerous pics of your crimp fest exploits and could out crank anyone from this site (if the approach isn’t longer than ¼ mile) for the life of you still can’t seem to impress fellow lady climbers and need to find a more impressive type of climbing wink.gifmoon.gif


- are burnt out on the gym cantfocus.gif


- is just interested in trying out dry tooling… no prior experience required! wazzup.gif


Bottom line: Myself and a few other social inept have been dry tooling at rock butte for the past few months and thought we’d extend the invite to anyone (lurkers included) interested. Honestly we are a bunch of bumbles so don’t sweat us publicly heckling you if you can’t send M4. This is a great chance to pump your self silly all while trying out yet another type of climbing and meeting some fellow turds from cc.com… think of it as alpiners anonymous… bigdrink.gif




First annual drytool night will be this Wednesday, January 12. Ivan will likely be there first at 3:30ish… I should be there by 4. We generally stay at least a few hours unless people want to come but can’t be there until 6 then I am willing to stay… let me know.


We will be climbing c. 150’ climbers left of the silver bullet wall. If you don’t know where this is just follow these instructions:


After 3 speedbumps the road bends right and passes a big tan dome building. Park past the big tan dome building (look for a silver pickup), cross the road into the woods and walk c. 100’. You should immediately pass a tunnel on your right that goes underneath the road (good warm up area is you are early). Walk c. 100’ along the top of the cliff looking for some TR anchors/listening for the sounds of shitty footwork with crampons on (screech!) and Ivan’s famous lead mouth hahaha.gif. I will put some green glow sticks on the TR anchors so we are more easily identified and it will scare away the bums. If you start to head significantly downhill you have gone too far.


What to bring:


- helmet (preferable with a face shield or other eye protection… though if you have good looks to spare unlike the rest of us don’t worry about it) If you don’t have one or one with a face shield but would like to have a face shield let me know… we can rotate.

- harness with belay device

- ice tools if you have them. If you don’t have a pair let me know and it shouldn’t be a problem.

- crampons: preferable something with longer points (i.e sabertooths, sarkens, etc). shorter points are okay but you’re going to have to work a little harder. Again if you don’t have them but want to borrow let me know.

- boots: leathers climb better but if you want to try and simulate alpine conditions wear what you would in the alpine. Bring ice cubes if you want me to drop them on you if you really want to stimulate alpine conditions. yellaf.gif What ever you bring make sure you can get pons on them.

- headlamp. If you don’t have a pair let me know and it shouldn’t be a problem. We stay well after sunset so be prepared!

- warm jacket (it gets cold), rain gear

- beverage of choice (thermos of hot coffee is highly recommended and a good way to make friends and send hard shit bigdrink.gif)

- either tight fitting full fingered gloves or a lot of tape and band aids (ask Ivan hahaha.gif)


With everything you bring don’t bother with your fancy stuff… its muddy and most likely wet… no reason to trash your goretex taking swingers… insulated Carhartt work great. This especially applies to gloves… you will beat on them so what ever they are make sure they aren’t your new pair.


And if people want to try out different tools (especially leashless) or crampons (monos) this would be a good opportunity… I am happy letting people test drive my ergos or monos (let me know if this is the case)… I hope others don’t mind sharing too.


What to do prior to showing up

- pm me and let me know you’re coming so I can determine how many TRs we need

- tell your boss you have a dentist appointment or something and need to leave work tomorrow early (or skip your classes if you are a student… that means you OSU!)

- if your crampons have two front bail positions move the bail back so you get as much front point showing as possible (and make sure your pons are sized to the boots you plan on wearing

- remove your adze unless you are brave enough to cam it

- if you have multiple picks put in your most beat up pair… they should be negative-clearance picks… don’t sweat the point of the tool being sharp… just make sure the initial set of teeth are somewhat sharp. If you have your choice put in 4mm picks. Bring an extra pick just in case

- take off your antibott plates (especially if you have plastic ones like those on the sarkens)… they unfortunately don’t keep the used condoms from balling up on your pons. hellno3d.gif




Generally we hit burrito loco # 3 afterward for some cheap authentic grub and the chance to cauterize any wounds you incur with the hot sauce there (ask Ivan) and talk shit about routes you found biners on. pitty.gif PM me if you will be joining us! fruit.gif

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damn...longest invite i ever saw!


i enjoyed last weeks session, though it put a crimp in my dry-tooling in the shower


crampons work great in preventing a fall down the butte when belaying at the bottom.


we should put in a fixed line to make getting out at night easier

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Tentative plan is 3:30ish until 6:30/7 but we can stay later if people aren't showing up until later. If you are securing a kitchen pass with the wife make sure to build in some burrito time into your proposal.


PM me with Q's up until 2; after that:


cell: 541.231.2062

alphanumeric: 888.267.5727

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i'll be there in my stealthy mitsubishi mirage bouldering around in plastics on the wall by the road from 330 till whenever someone shows


i was thinking climbing the roof of that igloo-like bible college w/ cramps would be both doable and extremely cool

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word to the muthafuk'n mother-ship - yet another cool evening in bum-land; though it started w/ rain and the prospects seemed dreary, me, NOLSe and 3 other souls flailed, scratched, scraped and screamed our way aroudn the butte for almost 4 hours. much fun by all - i emerged less worse the wear compared to last week and anticipate another session 7 days from now.


didn't get a chance to climb the church - next week?

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Roll call bitches wazzup.gif This means you Pete! hahaha.gif


Jan. 20th (unless a different night works for people... let me know). 3:30ish till pump out. PM me if you are coming and if you need/want to borrow any gear (gear/location details above). One addition to gear list: bring a prusik or ascender.

Edited by NOLSe
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There was some real ice in the gorge this weekend. . .well sort of. I found a WI2+ to 3 stuff near Multnomah Falls on Saturday. Crown Jewel looked to maybe be in too that day. Unfortunately I can't make it to drytoolfest this week either as I have class every night except fridays. Enjoy-

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