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catbirdseat

Armageddon

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This morning on NPR there was a story about people attending classes about emigrating to Canada. This one woman said she worked in computer software and was unemployed with two kids. She said all the jobs have been offshored and that Bush is behaving like "there is no tomorrow". How else could one interpret the total disregard for the environment and for a huge debt burden that our grandchildren will be paying? And I got to thinking does Bush know something the rest of us don't? Maybe we're going to be wiped out by an asteriod in ten years? Maybe someone is about to nuke us?

 

Well, I don't really think Bush has any knowledge of imminent disaster. I just happen to think he is someone who never learned to share his toys.

 

So I went ahead and searched the word "armageddon". It turned up zero hits on cc.com. So I'm thinking, I can't believe we haven't hashed this topic! Maybe we have.

 

What would you do if you knew the world would end in five years and you were the only one who knew? Would you tell anyone? They wouldn't believe you. Of course, there are lots of people in cults who believe this now, there always has. But suppose you were a scientist who had absolute knowledge. What would you do? For those of you who have read On the Beach, I think Neville Shute had it right. Behavior changes depending on the time frame, with increasingly wilder behavior as the end nears.

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But suppose you were a scientist who had absolute knowledge. What would you do? For those of you who have read On the Beach, I think Neville Shute had it right. Behavior changes depending on the time frame, with increasingly wilder behavior as the end nears.

 

word. i would definitely do some crazy shit. since work wouldn't be an issue (don't have to worry about being old and poor!) i would start up one hell of a credit card based road trip!

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This morning on NPR there was a story about people attending classes about emigrating to Canada. This one woman said she worked in computer software and was unemployed with two kids.

 

Probably a .com-mer that jumped on the bandwagon and was not very skilled at what she does. There's a lot of dead weight and incompetence in software dev.

 

Good luck to her finding software development work in the People's Republic of Canuckistan!

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1999

 

I was dreamin' when I wrote this

Forgive me if it goes astray

 

But when I woke up this mornin'

Coulda sworn it was judgment day

 

The sky was all purple

There were people runnin' everywhere

 

Tryin' 2 run from the destruction

U know I didn't even care

 

'Cuz they say two thousand zero zero party over

Oops out of time

So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999

 

I was dreamin' when I wrote this

So sue me if I go 2 fast

 

But life is just a party

And parties weren't meant 2 last

 

War is all around us

My mind says prepare 2 fight

 

So if I gotta die

I'm gonna listen 2 my body tonight

 

Yeah, they say two thousand zero zero party over

Oops out of time

So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999

Yeah

 

Lemme tell ya somethin'

If U didn't come 2 party

Don't bother knockin' on my door

I got a lion in my pocket

And baby he's ready 2 roar

 

Yeah, everybody's got a bomb

We could all die any day

But before I'll let that happen

I'll dance my life away

 

They say two thousand zero zero party over

Oops out of time

We're runnin' outta time

So tonight we gonna, we gonna (Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999)

 

Say it 1 more time

Two thousand zero zero party over

Oops out of time

No, no

So tonight we gonna, we gonna (Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999)

 

Alright, it's 1999

You say it, 1999

1999

1999 don't stop, don't stop, say it 1 more time

 

Two thousand zero zero party over

Oops out of time

Yeah, Yeah

So tonight we gonna, we gonna (Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999)

 

Yeah, 1999 (1999)

Don'tcha wanna go (1999)

Don'tcha wanna go (1999)

We could all die any day (1999)

I don't wanna die

I'd rather dance

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Say it was five years. I'd want to take more risks, but not TOO much risk. I could have an awful lot of fun in five years and wouldn't want to cut it short.

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I would take that plutonium pottery class I've always been eyeing.

 

Then I would go bengal tiger hunting in Hummers using bazookas, flamethrowers, and a wrecking ball crane.

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I would also reintroduce the McDLT complete with the original two-burger styrofoam packaging and be instantly popular.

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I would take that plutonium pottery class I've always been eyeing.

 

Then I would go bengal tiger hunting in Hummers using bazookas, flamethrowers, and a wrecking ball crane.

Where's the sport in that? I'd use a bow and arrow and a club. So what if your aim isn't so good? It would be a much better thrill.

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It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

 

(from official lyric sheet)

 

That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane -

Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn -

world serves its own needs, regardless of your own needs. Feed it up a knock,

speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height,

down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for

hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies

breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered

crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population,

common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its

own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the

reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright

light, feeling pretty psyched.

 

It's the end of the world as we know it.

It's the end of the world as we know it.

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

 

Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn,

return, listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform and book burning,

blood letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle,

light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh,

this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament,

a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives

and I decline.

 

It's the end of the world as we know it.

It's the end of the world as we know it.

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

 

The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite.

Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.

Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic,

slam, but neck, right? Right.

 

It's the end of the world as we know it.

It's the end of the world as we know it.

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...fine...

 

(It's time I had some time alone)

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that's true a wrecking ball crane might be more fun in tokyo

 

I would also definitely beg, borrow, steal my way into a cockpit of an F15 and try to get it off the ground for some joyriding.

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I would also break open the zoo and let the elephants run down hwy 26 into downtown portland. maybe stick most of the insect zoo onto a large catapult and send it skyward, just to see where it lands!

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i would build a time machine and jump forward 100 million years to see what evolved after us.

 

When Snafflehounds Ruled The World!!! snaf.gif

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oh I was assuming total destruction of the planet. in that case, forget what I said about the insect zoo, that's a little too much.

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If you want to laugh your ass off, download this audio file: ARMAGEDDON!

Warning: Not really work safe.

Sure it's an urban legend but it's a classic!!!

Edited by klenke

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This morning on NPR there was a story about people attending classes about emigrating to Canada. This one woman said she worked in computer software and was unemployed with two kids. She said all the jobs have been offshored and that Bush is behaving like "there is no tomorrow". How else could one interpret the total disregard for the environment and for a huge debt burden that our grandchildren will be paying? And I got to thinking does Bush know something the rest of us don't? Maybe we're going to be wiped out by an asteriod in ten years? Maybe someone is about to nuke us?

 

He doesn't think there's going to be a tomorrow.

 

This is my favorite line from the preceding article about Bush's use of language:

 

"Thirdly: since the world is passing away the environment is not of great importance. [bush belives] There is no need to worry about issues of sustainability because the world is in its final countdown. Part of the unconcern towards global warming and other ecological crisis is the religious belief that we aren't going to be around in 100 years. We're in the end times now."

Edited by Jason_Martin

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