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I'm an Evil Dumb-Ass!


RURP

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This is RURP:

 

"Ramzi Binalshibh, a key loser and al Qaeda member accused of helping plan the Sept. 11 hijacked plane attacks on the United States, has been captured in Pakistan, U.S. officials said on Friday.

U.S. officials have said the Yemeni national, who was refused a visa into the United States at least four times before Sept. 11, 2001, wanted to join the 19 loser hijackers involved in last year's attack.

 

Binalshibh was one of the roommates of Mohamed Atta -- the spooky-eyed "suspected" loser ringleader of the hijackers --in Hamburg, Germany. He is also known as Ramzi bin al-Shaibah-Loser.

 

Binalshibh is suspected of helping plan attacks and was very prominent in the Hamburg cell. His capture was considered a significant development in the U.S. goal of destroying the network of world-class losers, the officials said."

 

RURP has spoken.

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quote:

Originally posted by RURP:

This is RURP:

 

Do you really think this 9-11 conspirator/horse's ass could even graduate from elementary school???? He looks like he's half-stoned, half-asleep and half-witted like his terrorist colleagues!

 

RURP has spoken.

uh, obviously he and his cronies were smart enough to slip past the entire US intelligence community, not to mention airport security, immigration and other various federal agencies, resulting in the worst terrorist attacks on US soil.

 

that's the problem... many of the 'new school' terrorists aren't just dumb-ass suicide bombing jethros. many are educated enough to be that much more deadly than their more simple, thuggish predecesors.

 

regardless... they ought to beat that fucker to death with 2 feet of horsecock!

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This is RURP:

 

The fact that these half-wits pulled off their stunt is not a testament to their intelligence, but an indication of how lazy and complacent the U.S. became after the fall of the Soviet Union. These guys are really not very smart, but devious enough to find the many easily found holes in our free society. LOSERS!!!!!!

 

RURP has spoken.

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This is RURP:

 

Thanks, Scott P. for the happy news from hell. For those who don't want to look on the spooky face of Mohammed LOSER Atta who makes me wanna PUKE!!!, here is the text of the dispatch. (Thanks again, Scott P.!)

 

JAHANNEM, OUTER DARKNESS—The hijackers who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise Monday to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na'ar, Islam's Hell.

 

"I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers," said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. "But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?"

The rest of Atta's words turned to raw-throated shrieks, as a tusked, asp-tongued demon burst his eyeballs and drank the fluid that ran down his face.

 

According to Hell sources, the 19 eternally damned terrorists have struggled to understand why they have been subjected to soul-withering, infernal torture ever since their Sept. 11 arrival.

 

"There was a tumultuous conflagration of burning steel and fuel at our gates, and from it stepped forth these hijackers, the blessed name of the Lord already turning to molten brass on their accursed lips," said Iblis The Thrice-Damned, the cacodemon charged with conscripting new arrivals into the ranks of the forgotten. "Indeed, I do not know what they were expecting, but they certainly didn't seem prepared to be skewered from eye socket to bunghole and then placed on a spit so that their flesh could be roasted by the searing gale of flatus which issues forth from the haunches of Asmoday."

 

"Which is strange when you consider the evil with which they ended their lives and those of so many others," added Iblis, absentmindedly twisting the limbs of hijacker Abdul Aziz Alomari into unspeakably obscene shapes.

 

"I was told that these Americans were enemies of the one true religion, and that Heaven would be my reward for my noble sacrifice," said Alomari, moments before his jaw was sheared away by faceless homunculi. "But now I am forced to suckle from the 16 poisoned leathern teats of Gophahmet, Whore of Betrayal, until I burst from an unwholesome engorgement of curdled bile. This must be some sort of terrible mistake."

 

Exacerbating the terrorists' tortures, which include being hollowed out and used as prophylactics by thorn-cocked Gulbuth The Rampant, is the fact that they will be forced to endure such suffering in sight of the Paradise they were expecting.

 

"It might actually be the most painful thing we can do, to show these murderers the untold pleasures that would have awaited them in Paradise, if only they had lived pious lives," said Praxitas, Duke of Those Willingly Led Astray. "I mean, it's tough enough being forced through a wire screen by the callused palms of Halcorym and then having your entrails wound onto a stick and fed to the toothless, foul-breathed swine of Gehenna. But to endure that while watching the righteous drink from a river of wine? That can't be fun."

 

Underworld officials said they have not yet decided on a permanent punishment for the terrorists.

 

"Eventually, we'll settle on an eternal and unending task for them," said Lord Androalphus, High Praetor of Excruciations. "But for now, everyone down here wants a crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hags will take their pleasure on their shattered carcasses for most of this afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the Mother of Cowards. The day after that, they'll be sodomized by the Fallen and their bowels shredded by a demonic ejaculate of burning sand. Then, on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can't even imagine what he's got cooked up for them."

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This is RURP:

 

"Me thinks RURP should quote RURP's sources."

I thought I cited my source indirectly when I referred to ScottP's message as the link to the source at "the Onion". And I did not sign my usual "RURP has spoken" because I can not take credit for such a clever, and hopefully true piece of writing. But I am more than happy to direct others to its origination:

The whole citation is:

The Onion, Vol. 35(34) 26 September 2001

URL=http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/hijackers_surprised.html

 

RURP has spoken.

 

By the way, what kind of odd English is "me thinks?" They never taught me that one!

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This is RURP:

 

And check the most recent batch of suspects/LOSER horses' rears!

 

-

 

All apparently American "citizens" who may have traveled to "train" at the same Afghani camp as Little Johnny Taliban-Loser.

The price of a free society does not include tolerating those whose aim is to destroy it.

 

RURP has spoken.

 

[ 09-15-2002, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: RURP ]

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