lummox Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 just because i am a 'dick' and it is raining like a muthfucka here in san diego and i am not working because of it and i drank like a whole fukin pot of kickass costarican coffee i want to know some more shithead similes and metaphors. like these: 1: you [blank] slower than old people fuck. 2: shakin like a hounddog passing a peachpit. 3: sweatin like a nigga writing a check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glacier Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor Busier than a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest Worthless as tits on a boar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 One from a friend of my roommate's: "Life is short and hard like a bodybuilding elf." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel_Hutz Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 hotter'n two lesbians in a pickle patch  sweatin' like a whore in church  fucked up like a soup sandwich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 busier than a bar of soap at san quentin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothrop Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 (edited) 2: shakin like a hounddog passing a peachpit. Â WTF? Â Busier than a one-armed paper hanger. Edited October 18, 2004 by slothrop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 you're so full of shit your eyes are brown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 dumber than the fucking president Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Â busier than an electron 3 femtoseconds after the big bang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 queerer than a three dollar bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 more nauseating than telemarking to Dave Matthews songs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothrop Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 "craaaash into you..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 so dumb he couldn't find his ass with 2 hands and a flashlight Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glacier Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EWolfe Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 He'd lose his ass if it wasn't tied on! Â Well, I guess you're buggerlugged! Â As useless as tits on a bull. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted October 18, 2004 Author Share Posted October 18, 2004 so dumb he couldn't find his ass with 2 hands and a flashlight i heard it as 'you are so dumb you cant find your own ass with your hands in your back pockets.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylou Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 slicker'n cat snot on a wet silk scarf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterMo Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 Not enough sense to plug up an ant's ass  Like trying to feed a raw oyster into a parking meter... (middle aged sex) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EWolfe Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 Stepdad:  cold as the shady side of a witches tit on an iceberg  Tom Waits:  colder than a gut shot bitch wolf dog with 9 sucking pups pullin' a 4 trap up a hill in the dead of winter in the middle of a snowstorm with a mouth full of porcupine quills Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 "Colder than a welldigger's ass" Â "Tighter than Dick's hatband" (a euphemism for tighter than a condom) Â "Tighter than the bark on a tree" Â "Like a cheap hotel"... (when wearing pants too tight in the crotch ...no ballroom) Â "Hotter than the hubs of Hell" Â "More nervous than a cat in a rockin' chair store" Â Dumber than a sack of hammers" Â "Like fuckin' a gunny sack full of antlers" (skinny woman) Â "That went over like a fart in church" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairweather Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004  busier than an electron 3 femtoseconds after the big bang  Slimier than the quark-gluon plasma? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 whoa, not THAT slimy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glacier Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 you're about as useful as a fart in a hurricane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeezix Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Tired as shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glacierdog Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 rainin' like a cow peein on a flat rock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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