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nalo

How many 5 y.o.s would it take to bring you down?

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THink about it. 5 year olds. THey seriosly want to kill you. They are posessed by the devil and they will not stop until they devour your flesh. They do not have super strength but they know no fear and feel no pain. How many could you destroy before they envelope you?

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My guess would be 4. One to hold onto each leg (and you know they can do it). One to hold the sharp pointy stick. One to shove you from behind.

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This one time, this group of 13 of 'em surprised me, and I had to fight dirty. I got a couple of fingers bitten off, but I probably deserved it for gouging some eyes out...

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i think you could take way more in an open field than in a van or something. ALso, if you could pick one up by the ankles, you could do some serous damage

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And you could swing one of them around in a big circle and knock the other ones down.

 

edit: Since I'm listening to Metallica at the moment, I'd say it'll take 20 of the little fuckers to take me down.

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I just downloaded and listened to "toxicity". I have to say that something like TOOL is gonna be much better of a 5yo skull crushing song...

 

Youngster. rolleyes.gif

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you are confused, lance. THeyre like army ants. they only kill large prey, not each other.

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Y'all might want to rethink your numbers... what with the growth hormones in milk these days, toddlers are bulkin' up quick:

 

After spending time in the custody of child welfare authorities, a three-year-old toddler weighing 120 pounds was returned to her parents in Albuquerque, New Mexico.»

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One.

 

Until you develop a certain reflex around little kids, the head-butt to the crotch will take a man to his knees every time.

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I've never worried about this problem because I've always found it pretty easy to outsmart five year olds (packs of 'em are even easier to confuse).

 

But for you guys I guess it might be a different story. moon.gif

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the ultimate defense against a 5yo, a spoonful of dimetapp.

 

yelrotflmao.gif "Now honey, I'm sure I heard a cough. Here, just a little of this will help..."

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they only kill large prey, not each other.

 

listen, as the father of two five-year-olds I can attest that they can and will try to kill each other. The best way to stop this behavior is to introduce an external threat to one of them...they immediately re-group to kill that threat so that they can resume fighting. boxing_smiley.gif

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I am guessing it would take about twenty of them maybe more though. If I knew they were out to kill me I would try to reduce their numbers as fast as I could, but I imagine I would get start getting tired after taking out 10 of them. Theme music for this event would either have to be Hatebreed or Einstruzende Nuebuaten or Slip Knot, yeah "you are all fucked and over rated, think I am going sick, this is the end of everything, you are the end of everything", those would be some good lyrics to have going through my head for the task at hand.

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Are we talking male or female? Females are more passive and show some signs of mercy, male 5yo's are ruthless, destructive, pain-causing animals that can't be silenced by anything less than a computer game and a tall, frosty glass of rhino tranquilizer. I'd say it would take at least twenty girls to take me down, I could keep them at bay with taunts about them liking a boy and by telling them that they'll never be as pretty as Brittney Spears, while they're all crying, I could make a gettaway. Against 5yo boys, I think one 5yo fresh out of nap time would be a fair fight, I could probably take out at least five before I was ripped to pieces if it was pre-nap. They have an advantage, though, I can't retaliate to their kicks and jabs to the nuts, cause theirs haven't dropped yet, I'd have to aim for the abdomen...

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BTW, ultimate 5yo-bashing music is either a toss up between Ramstien's Du Hast, or anything by Celine Dion. That would put me into an unimaginable 5yo-killing frenzy.madgo_ron.gifmadgo_ron.gifboxing_smiley.gifboxing_smiley.gif I'd go through quite a few toddlers if I was listening to anything that awful. Anything by Macy Gray would just make me lay down and allow the 5yo's to put me out of my misery. cry.gif

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You guys are going to give me nightmares.

 

One time I was at that GAP store downtown and there were all of these small manikans. I had to get out of there ASAP.

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