nalo Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 THink about it. 5 year olds. THey seriosly want to kill you. They are posessed by the devil and they will not stop until they devour your flesh. They do not have super strength but they know no fear and feel no pain. How many could you destroy before they envelope you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foraker Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 My guess would be 4. One to hold onto each leg (and you know they can do it). One to hold the sharp pointy stick. One to shove you from behind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashw_justin Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 This one time, this group of 13 of 'em surprised me, and I had to fight dirty. I got a couple of fingers bitten off, but I probably deserved it for gouging some eyes out... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nalo Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 i think you could take way more in an open field than in a van or something. ALso, if you could pick one up by the ankles, you could do some serous damage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpinfox Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 And you could swing one of them around in a big circle and knock the other ones down. Â edit: Since I'm listening to Metallica at the moment, I'd say it'll take 20 of the little fuckers to take me down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nalo Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 System of a down would be my 5yo smashing music of choice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpinfox Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Â I just downloaded and listened to "toxicity". I have to say that something like TOOL is gonna be much better of a 5yo skull crushing song... Â Youngster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lancegranite Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Throw a Gameboy at them and make your getaway! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashw_justin Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Throw a Gameboy at them and make your getaway! Â Pacifist! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lancegranite Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Are you kidding? They would tear each other to shreds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nalo Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 you are confused, lance. THeyre like army ants. they only kill large prey, not each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothrop Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 It's taken far too many 5 year-olds to bring Michael Jackson down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialed Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 1 five yr old and his/her lawyer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minx Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Â Â the ultimate defense against a 5yo, a spoonful of dimetapp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pzack Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004  Y'all might want to rethink your numbers... what with the growth hormones in milk these days, toddlers are bulkin' up quick:  After spending time in the custody of child welfare authorities, a three-year-old toddler weighing 120 pounds was returned to her parents in Albuquerque, New Mexico.» Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bronco Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 One. Â Until you develop a certain reflex around little kids, the head-butt to the crotch will take a man to his knees every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 I've never worried about this problem because I've always found it pretty easy to outsmart five year olds (packs of 'em are even easier to confuse). Â But for you guys I guess it might be a different story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Â the ultimate defense against a 5yo, a spoonful of dimetapp. Â "Now honey, I'm sure I heard a cough. Here, just a little of this will help..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobBob Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 they only kill large prey, not each other. Â listen, as the father of two five-year-olds I can attest that they can and will try to kill each other. The best way to stop this behavior is to introduce an external threat to one of them...they immediately re-group to kill that threat so that they can resume fighting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken4ord Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 I am guessing it would take about twenty of them maybe more though. If I knew they were out to kill me I would try to reduce their numbers as fast as I could, but I imagine I would get start getting tired after taking out 10 of them. Theme music for this event would either have to be Hatebreed or Einstruzende Nuebuaten or Slip Knot, yeah "you are all fucked and over rated, think I am going sick, this is the end of everything, you are the end of everything", those would be some good lyrics to have going through my head for the task at hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtyHarry Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Einstruzende Nuebuaten  BAZERKER!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Kill the pig! Kill the pig! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dukiebird Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 Are we talking male or female? Females are more passive and show some signs of mercy, male 5yo's are ruthless, destructive, pain-causing animals that can't be silenced by anything less than a computer game and a tall, frosty glass of rhino tranquilizer. I'd say it would take at least twenty girls to take me down, I could keep them at bay with taunts about them liking a boy and by telling them that they'll never be as pretty as Brittney Spears, while they're all crying, I could make a gettaway. Against 5yo boys, I think one 5yo fresh out of nap time would be a fair fight, I could probably take out at least five before I was ripped to pieces if it was pre-nap. They have an advantage, though, I can't retaliate to their kicks and jabs to the nuts, cause theirs haven't dropped yet, I'd have to aim for the abdomen... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dukiebird Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 BTW, ultimate 5yo-bashing music is either a toss up between Ramstien's Du Hast, or anything by Celine Dion. That would put me into an unimaginable 5yo-killing frenzy. I'd go through quite a few toddlers if I was listening to anything that awful. Anything by Macy Gray would just make me lay down and allow the 5yo's to put me out of my misery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopalong Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 You guys are going to give me nightmares. Â One time I was at that GAP store downtown and there were all of these small manikans. I had to get out of there ASAP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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