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layton

The Stupidest Thing You've Ever Heard Climbing

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What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard while climbing, or climbing related, and what did you do? The one about if the "clips" were in place on prussik is a really good one.

 

Mine is from an emloyee at Der Sportsman in Leavenworth in late June/Early July...

"Drury Falls may be in".

Der moron.

I said thanks and held back the smackdown.

 

On the Grand Teton a guy wanted my opionion if his rack of three sporto quick draws and two cams was enough.

 

This should prove to be pretty funny, What do you guys have?

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"dude i think i have this belay device thingy on backwards" belayer to leader, 30 ft and 4 pieces off the ground.... [laf][Eek!]

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While rapping down Deep Throat on the Apron, someone over on The Mouth asked me to swing over and show him how to set up a carabiner brake rappel. We were only 5 pitches or so off the ground. A quick seminar seemed to suffice and he didn't plummet screaming while I was still in the area.

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This is probably the stupidest and funniest shit I've heard while climbing, and we still joke about this to this day. I was on this trip with some friends in the Icicle a few years back. One of the guys wouldn't stop talking about the guy who taught him how to climb and lead on gear. After rapping to the base of the route my friend blurted out "yeah, the things that guy made me do gave me a hard on!" Didn't help that we always harassed him for acting gay even though he wasn't.

 

[rockband]

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While questioning a pair who failed on Denali West Buttress and were deciding whether to take a shot at the West Ridge of Mt. Hunter, I hear this:

 

"Dude, we just made 18,000 feet on Denali. I think we can handle this little fourteener."

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"boy you got more nerve then a bad tooth!"

 

-old people

zion nat'l park dec 99

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"WOW THERE ARE PEOPLE UP THERE!" -exclamation from lady looking at the Emmons Glacier through spotting scope at Sunrise visitor center, Mt. Rainier. [laf]

 

Too bad there wasn't any music at the lodge [rockband]

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Years ago at Smith, as we were walking back from a route, someone saw our gear and asked, excitedly, "Are you guys rappelling? (and then, in a smaller, less excited voice) ... or just climbing?"

 

Recently Pub Club exchange (I was told). Someone asked Beckey his opinion of the biggest remaining problem in the Cascades. Without hesitation, he enthusiastically answered, "The Forest Service."

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A partner, who had made several unplanned bivis that year, was waiting in a huge crowd of people all rapping off Cat In The Hat at Red Rocks near dusk in December. To speed them up he rubbed his hands together and asked in a loud voice: "WHO WANTS TO SPOON?"

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"it's two-tool conditions in the gully"

 

stern quote from dude coming down Mt. Washington N Ridge a few years back. small patch of ice found on the way up, easily avoided on one side. [rockband]

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i've said so many stupid things in my life that i hate to tear into anyone for doing the same, but just for fun...

after climbing the easy route on SEWS with my wife we were lounging near the summit, as were a mother/daughter pair that had followed just behind us on the route. here's the replay:

[daughter, on the summit, on a cell phone call to SO] oh it was great and really easy. you could have done the whole thing. i think it was about 5.7... yeah, we free climbed almost all of it [Eek!]

i didn't say anything [Roll Eyes]

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A friend of mine was walking by one of the lower crags at exit 38 and saw two very young guys working a route. The guy on the ground was useing a gri-gri, of course. About the third bolt, he gets a worried expression on his face and yells up to his partner "Are you in a good place?"

 

"Why?" replied the climber with sudden panic.

 

A pause. "Dooood. You're the hand."

 

(for anyone not familiar, the gri-gri has some of those cute petzl icons on the side to show you which direction to feed the rope through. One is a climber, the other a hand)

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In Yosemite Valley asked, "Are you climbers?" while walking to the base of a climb with harnesses on and rack and rope. Answered, "nope. we just like this look."

 

Tourons...

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local crag sitting at the top taking down the anchor ready to rap down. Totaly obnoxious stupid teens show up and scramble up the 2nd(?) class rock to the left of the climbs ( i know this is easy cause my 3 and 6 yr. olds do this often) the get to the top and look at me... "you know, it's harder if you don't use a rope."

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After walking around Bruce's Boulder to retrieve an anchor I’d just lowered off of, I found that it was gone. [Eek!] “WTF,” I though, “It was here not two minutes ago.” After scanning the area, I see this guy with a gob of yellow runner and two biners in his hands—MY ANCHOR! The guy sees me spot him and says:

 

“Oh, is this stuff yours? I didn’t think anyone was using it.”

 

Dumb bastard.

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Coming down from the summit pyramid on Shuksan last year, there was a group descending the main gully everyone seems to use ahead of us. The weather was getting pretty ugly, and the winds were loud and strong. They had set up a rappel for at least a portion of the gulley. I was waiting for them til they were out of the way when I saw one of them as they were prepared to begin their rappel. He turned and spoke (not yelled) in an inaudible voice to those at the bottom, and said "rapping." First of all no one would have heard him, and secondly what the hell does "rapping" mean? I expected him to start breakdancing or something [rockband]

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quote:

Originally posted by ehmmic:

In Yosemite Valley asked, "Are you climbers?" while walking to the base of a climb with harnesses on and rack and rope. Answered, "nope. we just like this look."

 

Tourons...

And when returning from an ice climb in Provo Canyon, we were asked: "have you guys been ice hiking?"

 

Tourons!!!

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My dumbest thing I've ever done and close to the dumbest I've heard of was attempting to climb the nose (El Cap) with a guy I had never climbed with based on his reputation and self proclaimed ability. And to top it off he wanted to invite a friend at the last minute, who ( as it turned out) had never led, jumared or top roped anything harder than 5.8.

 

I acctually led (and hauled) every pitch and got 11 pitches up (in 2 days...slow beyond belief) before I finally grasped reality and gave it up.

 

As a side note; this "experienced yosimite hardman" droped our un-opened liter of Jack Daniels from sickle while pulling out the sleeping bags the first night. The gentle breeze wafting up the face let me smell the whiskey most of the night from where it broke 20 feet down. Doh!!

 

Rappeling into the dark we ended up spending the night on a 8" by 4 foot ledge. My butt was numb for days.

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A few years ago at Tennessee Wall, my partner and I were looking to do a warm-up on Jay Walker 5.7. As we came around a corner, we saw that there was a rope hanging on the climb, but no climbers around. We heard some voices around another corner, walked over there and saw three guys in cut-off jean shorts, wife beaters, a couple beers, and bilboard hats stating things like <"Possum, the other white meat." We asked if the rope was theirs, and they said yes. As my partner and I looked at the rope -grey in color, dirty, and with plenty of nicks, we asked them what kind of rope they were using. The skinny little guy with only a few more teeth then his buddies replied, "Aw, that's tree climbin' rope. When we damage the ropes with the chainsaw as we're cuttin' trees down, the bossman just gives 'em to us." We asked if they were going to be on the route much longer, and they replied," You can just use our rope if ya 'ont to." We said that we were really heading down the Wall a little further as we had our eye on another climb, but thanked them anyway. Never heard of any accidents that day up at T-Wall. Although Recreational Darwinism was in full effect that day! [big Grin]

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