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MILITARY RULES FOR NONMILITARY PERSONS


Bronco

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Bronco’s rules are a good start, but he’s leaving a few people off the hook. I propose the following additions:

 

15) The next time you’re on a bus or a train and somebody is talking too loud on a cell phone—kick their ass.

 

16) If they’re talking on their cell phone about being on the bus or train and they’ll be meeting the person they’re talking to in a few minutes anyway—kick their ass again.

 

17) If you stop at a red light and somebody is playing their stereo so loud that your car is vibrating—kick their ass.

 

18) If their car stereo is playing anything by Duran Duran—kick their ass AND burn their car.

 

19) If somebody driving a 6000 pound SUV who bragged about how they could write it off on their taxes starts complaining about the cost of gas—kick their ass.

 

20) If somebody tries to tell you why the designated hitter is good for baseball—kick their ass. Same if they try to defend artificial turf.

 

I hope this helps to close some of the loopholes. Feel free to suggest more.

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