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faster_than_you

best of cc.com The Nodder?

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Otter

 

I Aught-er Have an Otter

 

I would like to own an otter

 

I would name that otter Figgs

 

Now, my otter named Figgs

 

Would like to eat dates

 

Pounds and pounds of dates

 

But no prunes, prunes give him gas

 

So by not eating prunes, he is free of the gas

 

And a gas free otter is quite content

 

When the otter is happy I am content

 

Also of course, he’d need to take naps

 

At times when awake, times between naps

 

He would be doing things that are fun

 

Wearing a robe he thinks is quite fun

 

While wearing his robe he’ll sit by the fire

 

Drinking his brandy his mouth he will fire

 

Yapping and yapping will fill up that time

 

I’ll shake my head at such a waste of time

 

Ranting and raving I’ll take him to bed

 

I’ll tuck him all into his nice cozy bed

 

Turning and yawning he’ll start to have dreams

 

Cute lady otters will fill up those dreams

 

With him finally to bed I can take a needed rest

 

Watching an otter leaves little time for rest

 

Despite all the effort needed to keep him

 

I would love to have an otter that is very like him

 

Besides, an otter would look nice in my bathtub

 

Ode to an otter

 

hug%20mother.jpg

 

otters2.jpg

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Otters make good pets. They like to eat fish and Chevrolet air filters.

 

otter.jpg

 

I thought you otter know.

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The Otter's Prayer

 

Our Otter, who art in Notter,

otter be thy name;

Thy otter come,

Thy notter will be done.

On notter, as it is in otter.

Give us this day our daily otter;

And forgive us our otters

As we have forgiven our nodders;

And lead us not into Noddertation,

But deliver us from Nodderil.

For thine is the Nodderdom,

And the Nodderer,

And the Noddery,

Forever. Otter.

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otters are just a type of badger badger-family.jpg

 

badger badger badger badger, mushroom mushroom! mushsmile.gif

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The Otter's Prayer

 

Our Otter, who art in Notter,

otter be thy name;

Thy otter come,

Thy notter will be done.

On notter, as it is in otter.

Give us this day our daily otter;

And forgive us our otters

As we have forgiven our nodders;

And lead us not into Noddertation,

But deliver us from Nodderil.

For thine is the Nodderdom,

And the Nodderer,

And the Noddery,

Forever. Otter.

 

yelrotflmao.gifyelrotflmao.gif Oh my god, you're killing me. That's the best thing ever. I'm going to start saying The Otter's Prayer before every meal!!

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The 10 Otterments:

 

1) "I am the otter your notter, who brought you out of the land of otterdom, out of the house of otterage. You shall have no other otters before me. You shall not make for yourself a graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in otteren above, or that is on the ottereth beneath, or that is in the water under the ottereth; you shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I the otter your notter am a jealous otter, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

 

2) "You shall not take the name of the otter your notter in vain: for the otter will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain."

 

3) "Observe the otter's day, to keep it holy, as the otter your notter commanded you. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work; but the seventh day is an otter's day to the otter your notter; in it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, or your manservant, or your maidservant, or your ox, or your ass, or any of your cattle, or the notter who is within your gates, that your manservant and your maidservant may rest as well as you. You shall remember that you were a servant in the land of Egypt, and the otter your notter brought you out thence with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; therefore the otter your notter commanded you to keep the otter's day."

 

4) "Honor your father and your mother, as the otter your notter commanded you; that your days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with you, in the land which the otter your notter gives you."

 

5) "You shall not kill otters." -

 

6) "Neither shall you commit otterdurtery."

 

7) "Neither shall you notters."

 

8) "Neither shall you bear false witness against your otter."

 

9) "Neither shall you covet an otter's wife"

 

10) "and you shall not desire your neighbor's otter, his notter, or his steaksauce, or his naughter, his ox, or his ass, or anything that is an otter's.'

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otter_skye.jpg

 

 

Steaksauce History:

 

1824-1831 In a time when a kings palate was supreme. Henderson William Brand, chef to England's King George IV, creates a special sauce for the king's table. The king is so impressed with the new sauce, he proclaims it "A1".

 

 

 

1831 H.W. Brand knowing that he had a great idea leaves the palace walls and starts Brand & Co. where he begins to manufacture meat extracts and essences.

 

 

 

1850 Being a great culinary master, but not a businessman, Brand goes bankrupt and has to sell his business to his friend, W.H. Withall. Knowing that Brands products are the best, Withall continues to do business under the Brand & Co. name.

 

 

 

1862 Steak Sauce is entered at the International Exposition in London, England. The sauce is again proclaimed "A1" . The sauce with its royal beginnings is on its way to be the most famous steak sauce in North America.

 

 

 

1873 Withall decides to sell Brand & Co. to Dence and Mason. Brand re-enters the picture claiming trademark infringements. Legal battles will continue for another eight years until Dence and Mason agree to place Brand on an annuity and purchase Brand & Co. The steak sauce is now officially called A1 Steak Sauce®.

 

 

 

1890's A1 Steak Sauce® continues to win peoples hearts and awards at International Expositions in London and Paris.

 

 

 

1895 The A1 Steak Sauce® trademarks are registered in North America.

 

 

 

Early 1900's A1 Steak Sauce® begins to makes its way to North American dinner tables.

 

 

 

1931 A1 Steak Sauce® makes it way in to Canada, and on peoples food.

 

 

 

1970's Consumers realize that A1 Steak Sauce® is not just a sauce for steak, but for a variety of other meats and vegetables.

 

 

 

1990's Steaks and steak houses are back in vogue and so is A1 Steak Sauce®.

 

 

 

July 28th, 1999 Intercorp Excelle Inc., makers of Renée's Gourmet™ Salad Dressings and Sauces purchases A1 Steak Sauce® Intercorp Excelle Inc. begins to refocus this sauce back to its "Royal Roots".

 

 

 

June 10, 2000 A1 Steak Sauce® launches www.a1sauce.com. Introducing to the world, great recipe ideas and a fresh new look.

 

orig_bottom.gif

 

otter-logotype-180.gif

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logo.gif

 

 

 

The unlikely, and dangerous, sport of ottering is largely unknown outside the ranks of its participants. In fact, it is possible that there has only been three occasions on which it has been mentioned in the press.

 

The secretive nature of the sport may be due to the fact that it is performed by journalists; people who earn their living writing about others, but are less enthusiastic about having the spotlight turned on themselves.

 

The revelation came about in 1998, when the Australian Treasurer, Peter Costello, spoke at a Press Club luncheon following the presentation of his latest budget. During this speech he took some pleasure in revealing the injury statistics from that year's event. These included a broken wrist, ankle, and some fingers.

 

It is from three small press clippings1 of the period that we may deduce the nature of this sport.

 

Participants: Parliamentary Press Gallery and Finance Journalists.

 

Occasion: Following the release of the Australian Commonwealth Government budget.

 

Location: A nightclub in Canberra2.

 

Method: The 'standard' otter is performed by sliding down a staircase on one's stomach. The 'double' Otter is the same as the standard, but with a passenger or rider aboard. This method carries a higher risk of injury for both parties. The 'power' otter is assumed to be the same as the 'standard' otter but with a running start.

 

Scoring: This has not been revealed. It is likely to be assessed on style and 'degree of difficulty', if at all. The activity is linked with consumption of alcohol, and therefore scoring may be completely irrelevant.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/A516449

 

 

otlake.jpg

 

3two16.l.jpg

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Is the O T T E R dead?

Oh My!

 

"The rumors of my death have been greatly exagerated". -TheOtter

 

 

TheOtter is alive and well.

 

I thought you otter know.

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"The rumors of my death have been greatly exagerated". -TheOtter

How do you exaggerate a death? Kinda like being pregant -- either you are or you ain't...

 

Is the otter pregnant? Oh my god.

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