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EWolfe

State Of The Union

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is it just me...or is he saying everything twice...

 

just cuz you repeat it doesn't make it true

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An excerpt of a recent Oval Office telephone call:

 

Speechwriter: "Yes Mr. President, steroid use by professional athletes is certainly a very important national issue, I'll be sure to include that in your speech." rolleyes.gif

 

Bush: "OK, great. I'm glad I could contribute... Now be sure and spell out all them big words funetikally on tha cue cards this time!"

 

Speechwriter: "Yes, of course Mr. President." hellno3d.gif

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I was drinking beer and plugging my ears. ANyone care to give a synophsis of the grand oratory of our commander-in-chief?

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"Terror bad, gay marriage bad, me likey flight suit. God bless America, and don't mess with Texas."

 

Oh wait, you wanted a synopsis....

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A synophsis [which is a great Bushism by the way]:

 

We're going to spend 30 million dollars to put an end to steroid use among professional athletes.

 

Sexually transmitted diseases are sexually transmitted. Therefore we are going to spend [can't remember exact amount] on "Abstinence education".

 

And in conclusion, "Terrorist, terrorist, terrorist, God Bless America".

 

 

You can actually see a cartoon version of the speech HERE

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if you want a good laugh, listen to 'State of the Union' by Cloud Cult...alternative speech from rearranged samples of Bush's idiotic ramblings.

you can hear it on KEXP's online archive

http://www.kexp.org/archivedaudio.asp

play the archive at 1/20/04 7:29am...

...oops shoulda mentioned that you will hear the last few seconds of a song by Unkle before the State of the Union song comes on...

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Here is the caveman state of the union address:

 

Fuck it's new years bitches so stop whining. NO politician will fill your dreams. Never has happened.

 

There is some obscure or famous ski run just waiting for ya idiot. Get on it and shit.

 

I heard there was some ice climbing in Canada jackass. What do you need an invitation and topo? If so keep waiting.

 

Rock climbing is still killer in the desert so shut up and quit whining beyotch.

 

Big walls are waiting for you in the desert so get lost there or dive into your job and whine.

 

Sport routes are at the gym all year long. Change the holds yourself. Nobody is watching so do it.

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I thought he was suppose to give the State of the Union of the US, not the State of the Union of Iwrack.

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Was Bush really wearing his flight jacket?

 

This is what he wearing under the flight jacket:

1826P1190025-med.jpg

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i dint know steroids were 'a serious and mounting threat to our country'. wait. that was saddam and all his wmd shizzle. or was it gephart and the unions?

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Anybody think Bush will take California? The conservative talk-radio spray this morning seemed pretty negative on Bush's approach to the illegal immigration situation. Outside of essentially importing cheap labor (which would make a small business owner happy), I'm not sure I understand what Bush has to gain with his approach. Do you think this will earn him a larger fraction of the hispanic vote?

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