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Joke Time


jordop

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This guy walks into a bar, first thing he notices is a jar full of cash on the shelf. so he askes the barkeep what the deal was with the jar full of cash. the bartender tells him that there is a horse out back thats been very very sad and wont quit whipering, so they started a bet, you got to put a dollar in the jar then if you can make the horse happy then you get to keep the whole jar of cash. so the guy says ok i bet i can make that horse stop whipering heres a buck. then he walks outside, bout a minute later they here the horse laughing, the guy comes back in and collects the cash then leaves with out saying a word.

a few weeks the guy returns to the bar and notices there is another jar of cash on the shelf, so he asked the bartender what that one was for and the bartender tells him that ever since the last time he was there the horse hasn't stoped laughing so they started another pool, and who ever could get the horse to stop luaghing would win the money. so the guy gives the bartender another dollar and goes out to the house, and sure enough about a minute later they hear the horse just sobing his head off the guy walks in and takes the cash and starts to leave when the bartender asks him how he got the horse to laugh then cry so fast. the guy replies, well first time i told the horse my dick was bigger than his, and the secound time i showed em

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Saturday morning arrives and the husband gets up early, dresses quietly, makes his lunch, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog, and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck to head down to his favorite fishin’ hole.

 

Pulling out of the garage, he sees the rain is just pouring down – it’s a freaking torrential downpour! There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is howling at about 60 mph, and it’s bitterly cold. He goes back into the house and turns on the TV to The Weather Channel, where he learns that it is to be like this all day.

 

Sadly, he puts the boat back into the garage, quietly gets undressed, and slips back into bed with his wife. There he spoons up to her back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, “The weather out there is atrocious.”

 

His wife sleepily replies, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out there fishing in this crap?”

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