Joke: Never argue with a woman

[klenke]

A couple go on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

 

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

 

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

 

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't that obvious?")

 

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

 

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

 

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

 

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

 

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

 

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

 

"Have a nice day maam", and he left............

 

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

[chelle]

Now you're starting to get it. Keep taking those spray classes klenke.

[nonanon]

Long years of married life have taught me that there are only two ways to argue with a woman.

Unfortunately, neither one works…

 

Got this in the mail today:

 

Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the

man didn't notice it. A woman in the car behind him is watching

traffic pass around them. The woman begins pounding on her steering

wheel and yelling at the man to move. The man doesn't move.

 

The woman is going ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at

the man, pounding on her steering wheel and dash. The light turns

yellow and the woman begins to blow the car horn, flips him off, and

screams profanity and curses at the man.

 

The man, looks up, sees the yellow light and accelerates through the

intersection just as the light turns red.

 

The woman is beside herself, screaming in frustration as she misses

her chance to get through the intersection. As she is still in

mid-rant she hears a tap on her window and looks up into the barrel

of a gun held by a very serious looking policeman.

 

The policeman tells her to shut off her car while keeping both hands

in sight. She complies, speechless at what is happening. After she

shuts off the engine, the policeman orders her to exit her car with

her hands up. She gets out of the car and he orders her to turn and

place her hands on her car. She turns, places her hands on the car

roof and quickly is cuffed and hustled into the patrol car. She is

too bewildered by the chain of events to ask any questions and is

driven to the police station where she is fingerprinted,

photographed, searched, booked and placed in a cell.

 

After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell and opens

the door for her. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the

original officer is waiting with her personal effects.

 

He hands her the bag containing her things, and says, "I'm really

sorry for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up behind your car

while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of

you, and cussing a blue streak at him. Then I noticed the 'Choose

Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker,

the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome

plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. So, naturally, I assumed

you had stolen the car."