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FA: Carlos Rossi Memorial Tower


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Jordop and I went up to the Vasiliki Ridge last night and today to do a new route. I'd been up before and did Clean Break, and remembered what a shitload of rock was up there. So we headed up with no particular objective, just scope something out and climb it.


The best line we saw was to the the left of Never Enough (don't bother), on the East Face below the snowpatch of a spire unnamed and unlisted in the Beckey Guide. The problem with a lot of the crack systems in the Valiski Ridge and Wine Spire/SilverStar area is that the cracks tend to end in nowhere, or start above nowhere if you know what I mean. We were very tempted by many splitters that would require bolts to get to, or bolts to finish so we didn't bother with the E.face of this mtn.


We did bother with the East Ridge, however, after a night of drinking, eating spicy thai vomit, a bonfire, UFO gazing, and wildfire spotting. (I must point outt there there was hardly any snow up here, so in a heavy snow year, some cracks may be attainable).


Anyway! Feeling rather shitty and lethargic from the night debauchery(sp?) we slogged to the E.Ridge and headed on up.


Jordop got the 1st pitch. A super FUN 5.8 open book with cool gymnastic roof moves. A full 60m. Then I got the rope and we simuled anywhere from 4-7 pitches (I don't frigging know?) of belay killer block, awesome jams, cool chimneys, flakes, horns, dirt, and trees up to around 5.8 straight up the crest of the ridge to a very large ledge that winds all the way around to below the rest of the Valisiki spires (Vasilike tower, the Acropolis, and Charon Spire).


Once again the cracks were awesome but either ended abruptly, or started way the fuck off the deck. So we walked over to the South Face and finished the route.


Jordan got a sweet 10a chimney, to hands, to layback, to double crack stemming. The dude was cool and clean. Da man.


My turn.....

...this is where things get hazy...

All I know is that I was still screaming at my belay.

Jordop can comment on this if he wants.


10d X.


The rock turned to unbelievable shit, none of my cams

would've held a fall (even the #4 stacked in moss/mung), and it was a leaning offwidth with one foot stemming on verticle gravel.

Anyway, we all calmed down a did the final pitch to the top.


The top was really quite amazing. The was a plank of rock bridging the gap of about a 1,000" drop, and a huge figging cave outta nowhere, and a tiny ass summit that we had to sling to rap off of. No trace of passage.


So we think we went the best way, maybe not the last few pitches, but it would've been desperate anyway but the lame-o semi-walk up, aka, descent route (even more desperate due to the epic gravel slog). We rapped the last few pitches, then traversed sketchy sand ramps toward Burgandy Col, the back down to the base on the loosest talus this side of the Mississippi (3 shoe emptyings).


Back at camp we scoped some more, and we agreed that the E.faces had pretty much been tapped out as far as asthetic free climbs are concered. Grap yer aiders and get ready to reach some awesome jam cracks if you got the time on the other faces.


Also, THERE ARE A SHIT LOAD*10^10 OF NEW ROUTES, EVEN MOUNTAINS, just waiting to be climbed at the areas of WA pass (even a grade VI). Some big routes right of the fucking road! I won't give em away, but go find em!


Oh, what the hell did we climb? It's the obvious buttress just right of the arrow pointing to "The Acropolis" and the left most summit of "Ares Tower" on pp290 Red Fred 2000 edition. Our tower is not on the topo map on pp.292 but would be on a perpendicular line between Ares and Acropolis, as we traversed beneath them on the descent.


"Carlos Rossi Memorial Tower"

Fist Ascent Jordan Peters, Mike Layton 9/13/2003.

III, 5.10d X.

Around 10pitches or 1000' I think.

Max Blow Factor: 8.0

Avg Blow Factor: 3.0

Quality Rating: 3 shoe emptyings outta 4



Long live Carlos Rossi, damnit.

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What's up fool, I got like 3 buck on the Rossi

Let's go get perved


You don't wanna get perved, nigga

You don't wanna fuck wit this Rossi shit


Man, don't forget the ice man


Oh, you want something to




Top of the line wine, Carlos Rossi

Drinkin' on some of of that top of the line wine, Carlos Rossi



Top of the line wine Carlos Rossi, man

I drinks it all the time it's extra satisfying

Three of four times a day you can catch me drivin

Back and forth to the liquor store buyin

Jugs and jugs of tha shit cause I'm addicted wit no denying

Perving, swervin rannin all into the fuckin curb and

If I get one more D.U.I. then it's curtains

I can't cope, I guess I'm a alcoholic sometimes I hit the chronic

It's just like gin and tonic when it's time to get erotic

5.99 for a big ass bottle of Rossi wine it's right on time

Once you become a member of my drinkin' club you will find

The key to set ya free so give it a try

But don't mistake it for Chablis unless you already high

Spread the word get sprung and drink it with ya down chromes

That's another word for sohobs, potna, folks, homies

Every motherfuckin' year

We do this shit every other fuckin' day if not every day

But anyway I want





Hocus motherfuckin' Pocus

The top of the line wine, yeah nigga that's the dopest

And if you in The Click, them motherfuckers notice

that we be downin jugs from the tallest to the shortest

Everywhere I go, people wants to know

What's the name of that shit you and the Click be like fuckin' wit

I keeps it on a hunch on the ... cause brother I be perved

Fuckin' wit some shit that will send you to the curb

And if you wit a bitch, then nigga you nice

Cause Rossi goes good wit some dank over ice

Take her to the telly let the wine fill her belly

Fired up some smelly then ya jammin' like jelly

Bust a couple of nuts, hit the butt and than the grill

Dick hard like I did time up in Vacaville

But still I be bossy


What you fuckin' wit though


Fuck wit some of that top of the line wine


Yeah nigga


Carlos Rossi





Sunny day, sky blue, shit, I think Imma barbecue

Let me get my ass up outta bed and call up the whole motherfuckin' crew

Ray you bring the chicken, Kaveo you bring the links

Mugzy you bring the hamburger meat and I'll supply the drinks

Shit it's good to be on damn it

I got Suga-T in the house whippin' up some potatoe salad

4 slabs of ribs up in the refrigerator marinatin'

Bring home the .. I got tha .. and I can't be waitin'

Well, what do you know, though the door comes Kaveo


You know!


Mugzy and Tap that ass, T-Pup and Hell and Moe

Thick ass niggas like B-Legit and E-Duece

.... Mac Shawn, Mac D-Shot and Little Bruce

The man behind the counter of the liqourstore loves me

Be ... and ready to hug me

On the strength that I done spend

Over a G within a week on the Carlos Rossi



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Carlo Rossi Wine, Wine in a Box, Cheap Wine


Carlo Rossi (the Genius Behind Wine in a Box) explains his Business Secrets


Idea Co-Developed by : Mike, Dr. Steve, Sean, Chav



Carlos here. After the overwhelming response to my last interview on Mike’s Zine, Mike asked me if I could come back and do some writing for the magazine. When a prestigious literary source like Mike’s Zine asks you to write, how can you say no? I certainly couldn’t. Mike’s Zine sits on my coffee table right between my Hustler and The Jersey City Wine Maker in a position of honor. Not that I do not have my criticism of Mike’s editorial style. I mean, what kind of magazine is going to have you read like more than four paragraphs without showing you some naked hotties? I certainly can’t name one.


And that was when I realized what Mike’s master plan is. He is trying to educate the youth of America. He is saying to the youth: reading is good, and it is good to read. Give them a little helpin’ hand so they keep on the straight and narrow. I have to respect a man of honor, and Mike is a man of honor. I need to do my own part. That is why I decided to write an article about how to be a big success in business, like me.


Not everyone has been blessed the way I have been. I need to take a little time to enjoy the fruits of my success and to pass a little something onto the next generation. I am sitting here in a lawn chair at the Carlo Rossi corporate headquarters, locker 223 at the port authority bus terminal. I love it here. Bein’ a big shot CEO, you should never be too far from the customer. Every day I see folks around here enjoying the great taste of Carlo Rossi wine, whether they’re passed out next to a urinal or screaming their head off about the government controlling their brains from outer space -- I can recognize my customers anywhere.


And that is the first key of business. Know your customer. Never separate yourself from the people that put money in your pocket.


The second key to success is to have a great business plan. A professional wrestler would never enter the ring unless he knew how he was going to beat the shit out of the other wrestler. I mean, do you think that he just hits somebody with a chair and that’s all there is to it? Fuck No, he plans for success as you should plan for success in your business venture. That is what a business plan is. Here is my first business plan, the blueprint, if you will, to the Carlo Rossi Empire.






If you are in the fine wine makin’ industry then you will find that distribution is everything. If your customer can’t find your wine then he certainly can’t get a good buzz from it. Pretty simple when you think about it. One day I was makin’ wine in a hotel room bath tub off route forty, and bam! The next year I’m the favorite beverage of every fuckwit’ and derelict from coast to coast. I love distribution and thank God that the vice president of ADME Distibution loves a chorus boy named Denny. Things just work out that way when you plan for success the way I do. Distribution is the third key to success.



The fourth key to business success is promotions. You need the to create a brand name by associatin’ yourself with the right images. Carlo Rossi has created an image of success, great flavors and above all class. Nothin’ brings more class to an individual than Carlo Rossi Wine. I am not above imitation. When I first saw those Budweiser girls. I thought ,“’Holy shit! Titties and booze, now that’s two great tastes that go great together.” I tried to hire my own spokesmodels but as we both know, that shit is expensive. I mean, most spokesmodels aren’t working for a five-gallon jug of Carlo Rossi. Notice that I said most. I did happen to find a few gals that were a little more reasonable with their rates.


ROSSI GIRLS: Get your love on with the CR!










Carlo Rossi Wine, Wine in a Box, Cheap Wine


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Tower is down and right of the "zero" in "8190"


If you're at the base of Clean Break, this tower is the last blip on your left. The route we took followed the obvious skyline (east ridge) of this tower. From Burgundy, this tower would look like a small bullet planted on the ridge protruding east from Vasiliki Ridge. Opportunities for excellent 2-3 pitch lines on this south face; ours was the easiest appearing. Awesome splitters.


Our intended line had been the north face of this tower which is split by two gaping, off-width dihedral systems, both of which ended below the headwall of the tower (which we ended up skirting to the south on the route we did). I soloed up the ice patch to the base of the right-hand of the corners with our third tools but could see from the base that the corner systems were alternating 6" cracks and moss filled seams. Maybe a good line for someone with more patience, I dunno.


Summit is not listed in Fred and does not appear to have an easy way up. Hard to see how your could get off it w/o rappelling and there was no cairn on top.


Oh, and Mike's lead? It's a good thing I couldn't watch because of all the moss falling down. I just hear lots of dry-heaving from Mike when he topped out. Seonding this horror show was a constant "take". A pitch for the ages yellaf.gif


Got to eat at the famous Casa Que Pasa and listen to Necro go on about the beauty of life and his excitment for the upcoming James Taylor conert at the Key Arena wave.gif

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Bah, with the exception of those two corner systems on CR Tower, I think any new routes on that aspect would be a bit contrived. Sure, there's a tonne of rock there and most of it's good, but there's a hell of a lot of larches and dirt. Christ, we couldn't even find the line of Never Enough cantfocus.gif That bivy below Clean Brick rox though the_finger.gif

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  • 4 weeks later...
wayne1112 said:

That sucks Mike, ' bout the film, but a power-line you took!!. THat area is the next wave of new shizzy for sure!!!!


yeah and according to the yellow line, we climbed ABOVE the summit- a quantum leap in climbing evolutionary thought and action. rockband.gif

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