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JoshK

Labor day TR: 0 climbs, 1 fiance

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RuMR said:

if you are hoping "magic" will hold something together, i think you have your wording mixed up...i'd substitute "work" for magic! yellaf.gif

 

That being said, my family is the most fulfilling thing that's happened to me...even though i'm a selfish prick that climbs too much...

 

maybe that's the "magic"?

what? you think mother nature just sits on her ass and all this just happens???

 

work=MAGIC what makes it magic is when you can make it work. sometimes you can't.

 

wink.gif you should quit thinking that you understand me cuz you don't wink.gif

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I am waiting for some chick to openly marry multiple husbands cause I got a great name for her new religion. She can call it the "More-man Church"

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Hey! I hope i didn't hit a nerve there!...I wasn't trying to...just putting out my $0.02!

 

I'm just saying that my relationship is a lot of work and that oftentimes i (and my wife also) feel shortchanged...that's all

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Dru said:

I am waiting for some chick to openly marry multiple husbands cause I got a great name for her new religion. She can call it the "More-man Church"

the reason women aren't going to get on the polygamy bandwagon

 

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

 

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

 

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

 

4. It is important that a man is good in bed and loves making love to you.

 

5. It is really important that these four men don't know each other.

 

 

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minx said:

it seems like there's a lot of bitterness out there.

 

it's love people, you gotta keep looking for the good stuff.

 

OR hold onto it once you've got it! grin.gif

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adventuregal said:

minx said:

it seems like there's a lot of bitterness out there.

 

it's love people, you gotta keep looking for the good stuff.

 

OR hold onto it once you've got it! grin.gif

 

thumbs_up.gifthumbs_up.gif

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RuMR said:

Hey! I hope i didn't hit a nerve there!...I wasn't trying to...just putting out my $0.02!

 

I'm just saying that my relationship is a lot of work and that oftentimes i (and my wife also) feel shortchanged...that's all

no nerve wink.gif

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RuMR said:

Hey! I hope i didn't hit a nerve there!...I wasn't trying to...just putting out my $0.02!

 

I'm just saying that my relationship is a lot of work and that oftentimes i (and my wife also) feel shortchanged...that's all

I believe this is a normal feeling! smirk.gif It is work to keep a marriage together, stable, strong, and comfortable. It takes both parties and sometimes it is great and other times it is 'splitzville'.

 

Josh - best of luck to you! bigdrink.gif

My advice - take it or leave it!

1. Try to understand her even when she is being psycho madgo_ron.gif - there is something underneath that she probably doesn't know how to explain.

2. Going through marriage counseling BEFORE the wedding is a great idea. I wish I would have done it tongue.gif- it would have been worth the time and money. thumbs_up.gif

If you are in the Seattle area - try gottman.com.

3. Don't listen to the single bastards on this thread. When you love someone - you will compromise, understand, accept, and LOVE them completely. It ain't easy or always fun - but very rewarding.

CHEERS TO YOU MAN!!! bigdrink.gifbigdrink.gifbigdrink.gif

 

 

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Poor JoshK! He writes his TR full of happiness and excitement and what does he get from us but a bunch of posts arguing about whether marriage is worth it or not!! yellaf.gif Tho I guess it's good to hear what CAN happen... rolleyes.gif But best of luck to you Josh!!!!! fruit.gif

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minx said:

Dru said:

I am waiting for some chick to openly marry multiple husbands cause I got a great name for her new religion. She can call it the "More-man Church"

the reason women aren't going to get on the polygamy bandwagon

 

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

 

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

 

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

 

4. It is important that a man is good in bed and loves making love to you.

 

5. It is really important that these four men don't know each other.

 

 

you are recycling Daisy's old jokes!!! shocked.gif

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adventuregal said:

Poor JoshK! He writes his TR full of happiness and excitement and what does he get from us but a bunch of posts arguing about whether marriage is worth it or not!! yellaf.gif Tho I guess it's good to hear what CAN happen... rolleyes.gif But best of luck to you Josh!!!!! fruit.gif

 

That's cuz we are all wanks...

 

Best o' luck to you josh...beat the stats!!!!! wave.gif

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Dru said:

minx said:

Dru said:

I am waiting for some chick to openly marry multiple husbands cause I got a great name for her new religion. She can call it the "More-man Church"

the reason women aren't going to get on the polygamy bandwagon

 

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

 

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

 

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

 

4. It is important that a man is good in bed and loves making love to you.

 

5. It is really important that these four men don't know each other.

 

 

you are recycling Daisy's old jokes!!! shocked.gif

 

damn it! today really does suck! i thought i was recycling someone else's own jokes. i'm not up to the task of original thought today.

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RuMR said:

adventuregal said:

Poor JoshK! He writes his TR full of happiness and excitement and what does he get from us but a bunch of posts arguing about whether marriage is worth it or not!! yellaf.gif Tho I guess it's good to hear what CAN happen... rolleyes.gif But best of luck to you Josh!!!!! fruit.gif

 

That's cuz we are all wanks...

 

Best o' luck to you josh...beat the stats!!!!! wave.gif

 

yep! i was thinking this earlier. bunch a bitterness shouldn't be dumped on josh for this.

 

best of luck to you. it can and does work for a lot of people.

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According to the data presented in this thread, there's a 50% divorce rate. For the most part, people keep on talking about failed marriages, relationships, etc. Just keep in mind that half *do* work out, and don't let the pessimism get you down (mind you, I'm just a naive youngin' who has no experience with this.)

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If marriage were an easy project it wouldn't take a lifetime to complete it.

If it weren't for my kids, I would have left my wife years ago. We've gone through a lot of changes and now I am glad we are still together. It doesn't matter what you have going now, it will all change. We will go through more hard times but now we have better tools for working through them. It is not too early to start working on that tool chest.

Best of luck! bigdrink.gif

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Congratulations, Josh!

 

As a married, once divorced guy with a 21-year-old daughter from yet another relationship, I offer the following:

 

My take is that the biggest poisoner of a marriage (or any relationship, I guess) is unspoken expectations.

Does she expect you to spend every holiday with her parents? Does she expect that once you're get married, you'll get rid of that cool Audi and get a mini-van? And that once you're married all your free time will be spent together, or, alternatively, that she has her own life that you're not invited into?

It's extremely important to make sure she knows that climbing is a part of who you are, and it's not going away. You won't be going out every weekend and spend every summer evening at Marymoor, but you're not going to put your gear on eBay once you come back from the honeymoon either.

 

Frankly, I'm glad I don't have a climbing wife. I don't get out as much as I'd like, but it'd be far worse to have to tailor my routes and objectives to her interests and pace, or have her decide that since she's suddenly tired of climbing, I should be too.

 

A good friend of mine got married about ten years ago, and they went through a pre-marriage councilling with the Episcopal church (they got married at St. Marks.) The primary thing this counselling consisted of was taking a 100-or-so question multiple choice test, listing a whole bunch of things: religion, kids, sex, family, travel, money, and on and on. You were each supposed to fill it out separately, evaluating each item as to how important it was to you.

The idea wasn't that there were right or wrong answers, but to make each of you aware of each others feelings -- and how strongly held the feelings are. She wants six kids, you want none: three is NOT a compromise.

 

But I STRONGLY, STRONGLY, believe -- there's absolutely nothing wrong with two-year-long engagements!

 

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Alpine_Tom said:

Congratulations, Josh!

 

Frankly, I'm glad I don't have a climbing wife. I don't get out as much as I'd like, but it'd be far worse to have to tailor my routes and objectives to her interests and pace, or have her decide that since she's suddenly tired of climbing, I should be too.

 

 

If you had a climbing wife, I doubt that she'd want to give up her other partners and tailor her goals to your interests, either. Isn't that why you have multiple partners in the first place, so that *one* of them will want to do whatever trip you have in mind?

 

And if you had a climbing wife, your pace might hold her back instead of the other way around.

 

 

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trask said:

love is aid

 

So there is some pain and suffering involved but in the end very rewarding?

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