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MJ Dihedral


Uncle_Tricky

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After spending a couple nice sunny days up in squishtown with miss cakalakee, upon crossing the border, I gave Coondog a call to see if he wanted to climb Mary Jane Dihedral.

 

While it was warm and sunny up on Snow Creek wall, the wind was really nuking today. Sand/dirt/leaves/moss were blowing out of the crack into our eyes during the three corner pitches. A lotta fun regardless.

 

I got the first dihedral pitch, which is clean and solid, nice fingers and hands up to a kinda awkward hanging belay off a couple 1/4 inchers and some gear.

 

Coondog got the loose dirt pitch climbing a ways off the belay, he spent several minutes fiddling with uninspiring cam placements among loose blocks in the corner. Then he noticed there was a bolt right in front of his face and his day became less stressful.

 

I got the last corner pitch, which was my favorite of the day. It starts out with a slopey traverse, then up face holds and flakes back into the main corner, then up over a roof onto slabby cracks and chickenheads to rejoin Orbit. Super fun. All in all a great climb despite a little bit o' funk.

 

Back at the base, the wind was howling through the dead fire-burnt trees. We joked about our odds of crushed by a falling tree.

 

Best not be talking shit about the trees. As we were descending the outer space trail towards snow creek, a jumbo telephone pole-sized tree snapped off. With much cracking, smashing and many flying branches, the tree fell directly across the trail--right where we'd been no more than 30 seconds earlier!

 

The rest of the descent to snow creek was a bit spooky. In addition to many smaller branches (which could still ruin your day), we heard another very large tree come down.

 

Well, that's the end of this trip report, but if you've ever wondered about the "tree falling in the forest" question, please feel free to read on for some distantly related speculations.

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If a fir falls in the forest, and there's no one there to hear it, but there's a tape player recording the event, is there sound? What if the tape is never played? What if it's played backward? Is there such a thing as a satanic tree?

 

What if the person or persons listening are too Mary Janed to pay attention? Does the mere presence of a climber at the time of compression and rarefaction denote sound, or do the audio images have to impinge themselves on a climber's consciousness?

 

Scenario: A sound-activated tape recorder is placed in a burnt grove of trees along the snow creek trail where it has been determined there is a high probablility that one or more will fall. A tree then falls onto the tape recorder, exposing the tape to the sun, wind, rain and snow. A few weeks later, a snafflehound happens upon on the recorder. He notes that the tape is unsalvageable, but that the tape counter has advanced. Using his incisive powers of logic, the snafflehound determines that an aural event has occurred. But is there sound? Was there sound? When? Why or why not?

 

What if the snafflehound brings the wrecked tape player back to his den where it languishes for a thousand years, at which time Fred Beckey (yes, he's still climbing in the year 3003) unearthes it, and gives it to one of his hot belay bunnies, who, using scientifically advanced recovery techniques, manages to recreate the magnetic impression on the tape? Is there sound then? What if, just as she is about to play the tape for him, he runs off to China to do a first ascent and doesn't listen to it? Tree falling girl interrupted?

 

What if a tree falls in a forest and there's no one around the immediate vicinity--BUT the grove is being monitored from deep space by aliens who don't have ears but do have very sensative antannae that can feel the most minute of vibrations? Can they hear the tree? Suppose they can recreate sound patterns from the light waves. And yet the light waves won't arrive until four years later (assuming they live within our own galaxy) by which time the light waves may have been skewed by increasingly heavy gravity and/or the doppler effect?

 

And what if, by that time the waves of light sound arrive at the aliens' pad in deep space, the forest has been clearcut to pay for Larry the Tool's new Cadillac Escalade so he can drive his fat ass around in air-conditioned leather-bucket-seated comfort while violently enforce the by then non-voluntary Kick Me In The Ass Forest Pass Program? Can you hear a tree that fell in the forest if the forest no longer is?

 

Sometimes I might wonder about these things while stumbling down a hot dusty trail after some Mary Jane Dihedral.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Uncle_Tricky said:

Coondog got the loose dirt pitch climbing a ways off the belay, he spent several minutes fiddling with uninspiring cam placements among loose blocks in the corner. Then he noticed there was a bolt right in front of his face and his day became less stressful.

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Sometimes I might wonder about these things while stumbling down a hot dusty trail after some Mary Jane Dihedral.

 

As always, a rockband.gif'n TR from U.T.

 

Note to self #1: Buy U.T. more bier to help him forget things like bolt under my nose in trip report....

 

Note to self #2: U.T. might already have enough bier given his (surreal) post-climb dusty trail musings...

 

But, if a snafflehound falls in the woods, does he/she hear it or just say "shit" and continue to muse about horsecack while snaffling on?

 

--cd.

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