Jump to content

funniest website you have ever seen...hands down!


Fence_Sitter

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 31
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

ok i am sick and bored so i am gonna compile some of these for y'all

 

12/20a: Even punishments can be funny

 

If the tards are bad at recess, they have to sit at the "ball box" and untangle the jumpropes. It is virtually impossible for them. I make them do it so I can watch them get frustrated and kick and grunt. These are the small pleasures that make my day tolerable.

 

Lewis is another case. Truly, a case. He is in fifth grade and likes to flap his arms like a bird. He is amusing though, because he will say things to you like "Do you have a hyperlink on your website to the Parkland School District."

 

One time I said to him "Lewis, so funny you are." He stops, thinks for a while, and says "You said 'so funny you are' instead of 'you are so funny'..........I like that." He recently said, "wouldn't it be funny if you snuck a camera into Costco and secretly took a bunch of pictures of fat people. Then put them all on a website and call it www.piggiesatcostco.com. [Ed. note-This is not a real website].

 

I got socked in the eye by a distraught reetee.

 

Last month, one of my tards actually ran away and hid UNDERNEATH a fucking portable classrom. Unbelievable. It was dirt, trash, rats and a retard under Portable 12.

 

One morning Francis (see entry 12/5a: Francis, for a description of him) comes into the room with two big boxes of Lucky Charms. How nice, I thought, for the huge fat kid to bring in snacks. Upon further investigation of the Lucky Charms, I discover that both boxes are open. Also, there is not ONE FUCKING MARSHMALLOW in either box. NOT ONE!!!!

 

The green cupcakes in the picture are from a kids 7th birthday that was celebrated during class.

 

As he was passing them out, he actually tried to decide who he was and wasn't going to give a cupcake too. I told him that that wasn't a choice--everyone gets one or no one gets one.

He flipped out, took two of them, and smashed them on the lenses of his glasses.

 

that's all for now kids! eeeenjoy!

yelrotflmao.gifcry.gif its soo wrong! but it is too funny!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can read this shit all day yelrotflmao.gifyelrotflmao.gif It is pretty sad though. Makes me never, ever want to become a special ed teacher. Where I grew up, I lived next to a house of tards. The people there adopted many of the unwanted. They were nice people, but I don't know how they could handle it. It sure made the half hour bus ride to and from school interesting just about every day...

 

 

"Last spring, we used to have senior citizens from the local retirement home volunteer at our school. Every Thursday morning the retirement home's shuttle bus would drop them all off. They stopped coming to volunteer because of this incident:

 

In case I haven't already made this clear: Tards get extremely attached to things, but it is very hard for them to express their emotional attachment appropriately.

 

One Thursday morning, I am walking four of my 1st grade tards to the gym for "adapted P.E." One of them spots one of the grandmas getting off the bus. He freaks out, lets loose an ear-splitting scream, and charges her like a fucking bull, knocking her to the ground, really, really hard.

 

I run over and pull him off of her. She is laying flat on her back on the pavement in front of the school, writhing in what is obviously excruciating pain. The office ultimately had to call an ambulance, and she was taken to the hospital with a broken collar bone and numerous broken vertebrae.

 

All from a tard trying to give her a hug.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

- I am reading "Red Racer" to the kids. It is about a girl who tries to ruin her bike so her parents will buy her a new one. One page describes the sound as her bike goes over a cliff like this "bong, bong, bong." Ivan raised his hand and said his dad has a bong

 

erik, do you have a 'special needs child"?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Snack time rolls around, the kids who brought their snack get it out of their backpack. I hand out goldfish crackers to the rest. My phone then rings, it is our speech-language pathologist, and it is regarding some important shit. I am on the phone with her for one and a half minutes. I then hang up the phone, and turn back to the tards.

 

I can't believe what I see: Tyler is snorting Pixie Stick sugar.

 

He had opened up three little Pixie Sticks (which he knows he is not supposed to bring for snack), had lined up rails of sugar, and was using the paper pixie stick tube to snort the shit with!

 

I run over to him and snatch the pixie stick from his hand. He says "Hey, what do you think you are doing??" I told him we do not out things in our nose.

 

He said "I tried to tell you earlier, but you wouldn't let me."

 

I ask him what he had wanted to tell me. He says, "My dad always snorts stuff, he calls it nose candy. Before he went to jail, he gave me a bunch of my own nose candies, and told me I was allowed to have them at school."

 

I referred Tyler to our counselor, who will conduct some sort of drug intervention program with him.

 

yelrotflmao.gifyellaf.gifyelrotflmao.gifyelrotflmao.gifcry.gifcantfocus.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Angelo was walking towards the coat room today, when he clipped one of the classroom tables with his hip. Feeling slighted, he cursed at the table and swung his leg to kick the corner he'd bumped into. He missed the table leg by inches and sent his foot smashing into the underside of the table. He screamed and bent down to grab his toes, banging his head against the topside of the table.

 

At this point Angelo started crying, fell on his butt, and started trying to take his shoe off. He leaned forward to untie his shoe and hit his forehead against the edge of the table. After this he just curled up into a ball. I have never seen a tard lose a fight with an inanimate object quite as badly as this. "

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There must be rewards for teaching special ed kids, otherwise people wouldn't do it. For example, cops work for the authority their job gives them. Firefighters for the rush they get from danger. Doctors are rewarded by helping people (and the big $$$). Special ed teachers do it for the laughs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

you two are still hanging out in the sandbox eating cat shit on a regular basis aren't you?

 

trask, i said some variation of this before. You're complete ass. I'm too tired to look up the post...it was much better rant then. Point being...get a life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

minx said:

you two are still hanging out in the sandbox eating cat shit on a regular basis aren't you?

 

trask, i said some variation of this before. You're complete ass. I'm too tired to look up the post...it was much better rant then. Point being...get a life.

 

Is this some kind of sick joke? I am not laugghing, but Thrask is some sick fuckener, tyoo.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...